Once upon a time, a British invasion had us reaching for our revolver, but that was way before The Beatles. Now we’ve got Amy Winehouse to intoxicate, along with Kate Moss’s line at Topshop. While the exchange rate may have you crying into your pint of Carling, destination London is hotter than ever. We also love the legal and totally acceptable public drinking displays—it’s enough to overlook the bad teeth issue. Here’s Shecky’s guide to doing London (even without Posh and Becks), Union Jack not required.
FLY Silverjet
Wish you had a private jet? Well, you can come pretty damn close with Silverjet, the all-business class airline with direct service between New York and London. Their hassle-free private terminal allows you to arrive 45-minutes before departure offering you plenty of time to enjoy a phenomenal spread of beverages and bites in their private luxe-lounge. Aboard, you’ll get plenty of zzz’s and entertainment in their 6’3’’ flat beds that feature laptop power along with use of a personal digital in-flight entertainment system equipped with noise reduction headsets, privacy screens, and a seat back massager. Super female-friendly, Silverjet is the first airline to offer private womens’ bathrooms, which include special amenities to make the ladies trip a whole lot better. If that’s not enough VIP service, enjoy freshly cooked meals served when you’re hungry, accompanied with all-you-can-drink champagne, wine, and cocktails. Cheers to that!
Other Flight Resources: Virgin and British Airways often offer good deals on flights; your best bet is to book well in advance or travel during non-peak months. Kayak.com and Orbitz.com are great for comparison shopping.
SLEEP Premier Travel Inn ($)
Multiple locations throughout London
With rooms starting at £48 (about $100) a night, this hotel chain is the best bet for bargain accommodations, and has locations near the major attractions.
St. Giles Hotel ($$)
Bedford Ave., West End, 020 7300 3000 (Tube: Tottenham Court Road)
Want a hotel with a pool? The St. Giles has one and is ideal for tourists who want to be within walking distance of Covent Garden and Leicester Square.
The Lanesborough ($$$)
Hyde Park Corner, Knightsbridge, 020 7259 5599 (Tube: Hyde Park Corner)
Perks at this ab-fab hotel include a fitness studio, spa, views of gorgeous Hyde Park, and 24-hour butler service. Here’s hoping Jeeves doesn’t monitor your pay-per-view habits too closely.
LUNCH Borough Market ($)
8 Southwark St., Southwark, 020 7407 1002 (Tube: London Bridge)
Open Thursday-Saturday, this historic food market features stalls serving everything from produce to chorizo sandwiches. Recommended: Crepe sandwiches from Crème de la Crepe.
Royal China ($$)
13 Queensway, Queensway 020 7221 2535 (Tube: Bayswater, Queensway); multiple locations
Sundays were made for leisurely dim sum at this Queensway institution. The dumplings are worth the killer wait.
J. Sheekey ($$$)
28-32 St. Martin’s Court, West End, 020 7240 2565 (Tube: Leicester Square)
Splurge on fresh seafood, caviar, and insanely indulgent desserts at this centrally located favorite.
TEA The Orangery ($)
Kensington Palace, Kensington Gardens, 087 1332 7927 (Tube: High Street Kensington)
Bargain tea at a palace? Afternoon tea at Princess Diana’s former residence can be had for less than 10 quid.
Tea Palace ($$)
175 Westbourne Grove, Notting Hill, 020 7727 2600 (Tube: Notting Hill/Bayswater)
This tea shop offers both traditional and champagne tea services in its restaurant. How divine!
Palm Court at The Ritz London ($$$)
150 Piccadilly, Mayfair, 020 7493 8181 (Tube: Green Park)
The ultimate in luxury tea-sipping, complete with dress code, reservation policy, and all the scones and finger sandwiches your heart desires. £36 per person.
DINE Pizza Express ($)
9 Bow St., Covent Garden, 020 7240 3443 Tube: Covent Garden); multiple locations
Terrible name, delicious food. You can’t go wrong with any of the gourmet pizzas, especially when you throw in a good bottle of red.
Cinnamon Club ($$, pictured above)
30 Great Smith St., Westminster, 020 7222 2555 (Tube: Westminster/St. James’s Park)
You can’t leave London without eating Indian food, and this elegant eatery offers some of the best—and hottest—dishes in town.
The Wolseley ($$$)
160 Piccadilly, Mayfair, 020 7499 6996 (Tube: Green Park)
British cuisine with an Austrian twist, served in a breathtaking dining room that screams old money.
SHOP Boots ($)
Multiple locations throughout London
Jemma Kidd (pictured), No. 7, Antoni & Alison—this pharmacy is a goldmine for fab British beauty brands, plus heavy-hitters like Benefit, Chanel, and Dior.
Topshop ($)
216 Oxford St., Marylebone, 020 7636 7700 (Tube: Oxford Circus); multiple locations
It’s next to impossible to not get lost in this massive store. Highlights include the new Kate Moss collection, a beauty parlor, and an entire floor devoted to trendy, dirt-cheap accessories.
HMV ($)
150 Oxford St., Marylebone, 084 5602 7800 (Tube: Oxford Circus)
British music is better than ever, so stock up on your favorites before they hit the US. Recommended: Just Jack, Kaiser Chiefs, Artic Monkeys, and Calvin Harris.
Spitalfields Market ($)
Commerical St., The City (Tube: Liverpool Street)
This Sunday market is ideal for browsing through stalls selling food, unique art, and independent designs.
Dune ($$)
26 James St., Covent Garden, 020 7836 1560 (Tube: Covent Garden); multiple locations
Trendy kicks and accessories for men and women.
Browns ($$$)
24-27 S. Molton St., Marylebone, 020 7514 0016 (Tube: Bond Street); multiple locations
Feast on designs from Ella Moss, Marc Jacobs, Chloe, Rodarte, and more in this sprawling boutique.
SEE The British Museum
Great Russell St., Bloomsbury, 020 7323 8000 (Tube: Holborn)
Gotta love free museums. You could spend a week admiring the incredible artifacts—including the Rosetta Stone—here.
Tate Modern South Bank, 020 7887 8888 (Tube: London Bridge)
Go for the funky modern art, stay for the winding slide installations. Free admission. St. Paul’s Cathedral St. Paul’s Churchyard, The City, 020 7236 4128 (Tube: St. Paul’s)
This Christopher Wren masterpiece is a must for art and history buffs.
Tower Bridge (pictured below)
South Bank (Tube: London Bridge)
A moonlit walk along the South Bank offers one of London’s most stunning sights: the lit-up Tower Bridge. Bonus? The view will cost you nothing—which is a rare occurrence in this town. Shakespeare’s Globe
21 New Globe Walk, South Bank, 020 7401 9919 (Tube: London Bridge/Southwark)
This open-air theater is just a replica of Shakespeare’s original, but the summertime productions are all his.
Football
Pick a team, any team. Tickets can be pricey, and hard to come by for a big team like Manchester United, but attending a football match is worth it for the raunchy chants alone.
PUB
The Horniman at Hays ($)
Hays Galleria, South Bank, 020 7407 1991 (Tube: London Bridge)
Take your pint outside for glimpses of Tower Bridge and the Tower of London from this waterfront pub. Serves the usual pub grub suspects like fish and chips.
The Narrow ($)
44 Narrow St., Limehouse, 020 7592 7950 (Rail: Limehouse) This newbie from star chef /potty mouth Gordon Ramsay isn’t for the squeamish, serving up real-deal Brit specialties like braised pig cheeks along with a comprehensive selection of beers and bitters.
The Spaniards Inn ($)
Spaniards Rd., Hampstead Heath, 020 8731 6571 (Tube: Hampstead Heath)
This golden oldie (built in 1585) offers the warmth of a traditional pub along with a sprawling garden area that hosts weekend barbecues and a doggy wash for muddy pups.
PARTY Freud ($)
198 Shaftesbury Ave., West End, 020 7240 9933 (Tube: Covent Garden)
You’d have to be nuts to pass up this tightly packed, low-frills subterranean bar/café/art gallery churning out some of the best cocktails in town.
Bünker ($, pictured above right)
41 Earlham St., West End, 020 7240 0606 (Tube: Covent Garden)
This popular microbrewery/Bavarian bierhaus is a beer connoisseur’s home away from home.
Moose Bar ($$)
31 Duke St., Marylebone, 020 7224 3452 (Tube: Bond Street)
This log cabin-themed bar features a dance club downstairs, and a bizarre decorating scheme of antlers, mountain murals, and cowhide. Good happy hour specials.
Kitts ($$$)
7 Sloane Sq., Knightsbridge, 020 7881 5990 (Tube: Sloane Square)
This members-only lounge seduces A-listers with its potent (and pricey) Caribbean-inspired cocktails and sexy private nooks.
MO*VIDA ($$$, pictured above left)
8-9 Argyll St., Marylebone, 020 7734 5776 (Tube: Oxford Circus)
This posh hotspot sizzles with dance tunes, multiple lounging areas, and plenty of hotties.
ESCAPE Greenwich ($)
Skip the Tube and buy a hop on/hop off boat pass (£9 return) that’ll take you down the Thames. Home of the Greenwich Mean Time line (which you can straddle yourself), a lush park, and cool shops and pubs, this is a must-see day trip.
Bath ($$) Indulge in the sauna at Thermae Bath Spa, soak up the stunning Roman architecture, and make like Jane Austen in this idyllic town approximately three hours from central London.
Danesfield House Hotel and Spa ($$$, pictured right)
Henley Rd., Marlow-on-Thames, Buckinghamshire, 016 2889 1010,
Wine tasting dinners, spa treatments, breathtaking scenery—country living has never been better.
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TEA 
SHOP 
Serves the usual pub grub suspects like fish and chips. 
This newbie from star chef /potty mouth Gordon Ramsay isn’t for the squeamish, serving up real-deal Brit specialties like braised pig cheeks along with a comprehensive selection of beers and bitters. 
Indulge in the sauna at Thermae Bath Spa, soak up the stunning Roman architecture, and make like Jane Austen in this idyllic town approximately three hours from central London. 
