Wearing lipstick, buying your first foundation, and getting your taxes right are considered important steps towards becoming a woman. Believe it or not, taking care of your skin falls even higher on the list. All of us are aging, and every day our skin becomes less capable of retaining its elasticity and regenerative properties. Taking care of our skin is something we should all know how to do by a certain age.

If you don’t yet have a routine that you stick to every day, here are the main things you must know, and can start doing today. When it comes to skin health (and looking younger longer), it’s better late than never.

Step 1: Washing Your Face

Don’t believe the hype. You don’t need a skin cleansing soap to get your face clean. According to Mackenzie Santiago, skincare specialist, and the founder of Brooklyn Grooming,  warm water and a clean washcloth rinses the dirt and makeup off the surface of your face just as well as any cleanser – except they don’t use any chemicals that will overdry your face, forcing you to stave off the soap every couple of days and cause irregularities in your skin treatment (which could lead to breakouts).

Keeping your skin clean – which means using warm water to rinse at least twice a day, and avoiding touching your face (this includes hair that hangs down over the skin) – is the first step is preserving your skin’s health. Make sure your face is as clean as possible whenever possible. Good skin always starts with a clean face.

Step 2: Moisturizer

Hands down – The Most Important Part of Perfect Skin! This is because as you age, skin loses its flexibility. Wrinkles occur because the skin is losing its natural oils. Depending on your skin type, using a light moisturizer at night, or a heavy day cream can help skin replenish the natural oils it loses over time, and restore your skin’s natural glow. Start with your T Zone – nose, forehead, chin – and moisturize your neck as well as under your eyes to help decrease the chance of wrinkles there.  We recommend RoC Retinol Correction Sensitive Night Cream for the Nighttime, and Aveeno Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer (SPF 30) for Daytime.

Step 3: Sunscreen

Some people really don’t want to put chemicals on their face. But chemicals are what keep the UV rays out, which are SO GOOD at destroying skin cells and causing wrinkles! We recommend applying sunscreen to your face once a day. If using sunscreen is too easy to forget, opt for a moisturizer that already contains SPF. Just make sure it’s at least 15 SPF. Slather it on, every day. When you’re 50, you’ll be thankful you did.

Loneliness should never have to be equated with not being in a relationship – there’s plenty of loneliness inside of relationships, and the cure is not to go out and just find a boyfriend. Being alone can actually be a wonderful experience -positive and rewarding, even if it’s not always easy to think of it that way. Here’s a list of tried-and-true methods of curing loneliness, without going out and nabbing the first dude who comes along.

1. Find out what you like to do

Sign up for a yoga class. Learn a new language. Come home after work and cook the hell out of a new recipe book. Cooking is really easy to get into, and it can give you a lot of happiness. Become a movie buff. Become a people watcher. Take a notebook and go to a bar alone. Take notes on how people interact. Later you could try approaching this with new perspective. Get some workouts in. Read all the books you never thought you could.

2.Get out of town

Living alone in a faraway place has taught me that there’s no amount of loneliness a long drive with good tunes can’t cure. Go see something new. Rock out in the car on the way.

3. Get a part-time job

Something else to do on the weekends or after work hours can help. Getting a part-time position waiting tables exposes you to a lot of people you might not otherwise get to know in your normal work day. You’ll meet new friends you can hang out with, people who will recognize you outside of the house when you’re out socializing. You’ll have bartenders who recognize you and know your name.

4. Get a pet

If you have the means to care for an animal, pets make great companions and definitely take your mind off feeling lonely. Cats are more independent than dogs, and can keep themselves entertained when you’re not home. They don’t cost much (food and litter). If you don’t like cats, consider a small dog if you have the means to hire a dog walker.

5. Get Roommates

Sometimes it’s a matter of populating the apartment with more bodies. One way to imitate roommates is keeping the radio or tv on, which can often make you feel more lonely at a moment when you’re really down. Roommates are not only there to chat with and hang with when you feel like it, but they help you save money.

Memorial Day isn’t just a day in which we get time off of work and school. Every last Monday of May, we celebrate by remembering the men and women of the United States Armed Forces who have passed while serving and protecting our country. While most of us relax over some traditional, American food and look forward to even warmer weather, others are looking for a sipping soiree. Check out these fabulous, summery drink recipes to kick-start Memorial Day with loved ones. -Meryl Lumba

Sparkling Gin & Juice

1/4 cup gin

2 tablespoons lemonade concentrate

2/3 cup Champagne

1 teaspoon freshly squeezed lime juice

Lime wedges for garnish

Instructions:

In a small pitcher, mix gin and lemonade until fully mixed. Add in lime juice. Top mixture off with Champagne and mix lightly. Serve with fresh lime wedges over ice.

Boozy Banana Split Milkshake

Ingredients:

2 frozen bananas, chopped

1 cup light cream

1/4-1/3 cup dark cocoa liqueur

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 tablespoons sugar

1/3 cup whipped cream plus 1 tablespoon

Instructions: Place bananas, light cream, liquer, vanilla and 1/3 cup whipped cream in a blender. Blend on low until smooth and thick. Garnish with extra tablespoon of whipped cream, coffee grounds or chocolate chips.

Porch Swing

1 1/2 ounces (3 tablespoons) gin

1 1/2 ounces (3 tablespoons) Pimm’s No. 1 liqueur

4 ounces (1/2 cup) homemade lemonade

7-Up or another lemon/lime soda

10 paper-thin half moon slices of cucumber

Instructions:

Pour gin, Pimm’s and lemonade into tall Collins glass, then add a few ice cubes and a splash of 7-Up. Finish with cucumber slices.

Strawberry Sake Cocktail

2 strawberries, sliced plus another for garnish

3/4 ounces fresh juice from 1 to 2 limes

1 ounce simple syrup (see note above)

1 sprig of mint, plus another for garnish

2 ounces sake

1 1/2 ounces seltzer water

Instructions:

In a mixing glass, muddle strawberry, lime juice, and simple syrup in the bottom of a tall glass until the strawberry is completely dissolved. Add mint leaves and gently tap 5 times with muddler. Fill glass with ice and add sake. Stir and pour unstrained into serving glass. Top with seltzer and garnish with a sprig of mint and a strawberry.

The Rocket

1 cup finely crushed ice (to slush consistency)

1/4 fluid ounce blue curacao liqueur

2 fluid ounces lemon-flavored Smirnoff vodka, divided

1/4 fluid ounce raspberry flavored liqueur

Instructions:

Place half the ice into a bowl; divide the other half of the ice between 2 bowls (1/4 cup of ice in each). Place blue curacao liqueur and 1/2 fluid ounce of lemon vodka into a bowl containing 1/4 cup of ice. Mix well. Place raspberry liqueur and 1/2 fluid ounce of lemon vodka into the other 1/4 cup of ice and mix well. Mix the remaining 1 fluid ounce of lemon vodka into the bowl containing 1/2 cup of ice. Layer the blue curacao-flavored ice into the bottom of a glass. Place the lemon vodka-flavored ice over the blue layer; top with the raspberry-flavored ice.

Boston Rum Punch

2 oz Parrot’s Bay Rum

Lemonade

Fill a shaker with finely cracked ice. Add the rum and fill with lemonade. Shake briefly and pour (unstrained) into a pint glass. Garnish with nutmeg or half a strawberry and an orange slice.

Dirty Shirley

1 oz Little Black Dress vodka

5 – 6 oz lemon-lime soda

1 dash grenadine syrup

Instructions: Pour the vodka over ice cubes in a highball glass. Fill the glass the rest of the way with lemon-lime soda. Add grenadine, garnish with a cherry, and serve.

The Emerald

2 ounces Jack Daniel’s whiskey

1 ounce  vermouth

1 dash orange bitters

Instructions: Stir all ingredients well with cracked ice, then strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

The men’s fashion industry is broadening by the minute. Yet, it seems that, unless they work in the fashion business, have an influential girlfriend, or a natural ability to dress themselves, most men fail to realize when they are committing a severe fashion crime. We have outlined the biggest fashion turnoffs, the ones that are just non-negotiable. – Grace Texter

Gaudy Jewelry

Jewelry can look really sexy on a man when done right. But, when done wrong, it can get really, REALLY ugly. Huge gold necklaces and enormous pinky rings are tasteless and challenge the girlfriend’s bling. Also, it is hard to take someone seriously when his penny-sized glass ear studs are blinding everyone in his path. A rule of thumb for men when it comes to jewelry is “less is more,” so keep it simple. Or keep it zero.

Frosted Tips

The fact that this is still an issue for men is troubling. Alas, the 90’s boy bands were apparently more influential than we thought and we are setting the record straight. Frosted tips indicate one thing to women: douchbag. They just do not look good and they give men that “peter pan” look that is completely unattractive to women.  Thankfully, frosted tips are an easy fix. Head straight to the barbershop and get them buzzed off. You’re welcome.

Overgrown Beard

Beards may make men feel manly and rugged, but they aren’t the ones who have to kiss a big, prickly mess of hair. While facial hair can be extremely sexy when it is maintained well, a full-on beard is too much. Once he reaches the one-inch mark, it’s time to either trim or shave. No woman wants to explore the far reaches of your grizzly man-face-coat. Save the women the extra trauma, show off your gorgeous gab, and embrace the razer.

Socks with Sandals

When it comes to men wearing sandals, a lot of aspects come into consideration. However, there is no need to consider wearing socks and sandals together. The answer is: DO NOT DO IT! If a guy is the type to throw on some Birkenstocks to run to the store or some nice designer sandals to change things up, more power to him! If the problem is his un-pedicured toes, he should stick to loafers until he can get his feet polished up. Socks are not an appropriate alternative. Ever.

Short-Shorts

You may wonder, when is short too short? When you can see more than 2 to 3 inches above a man’s knees, his shorts are in uncharted territory. Once the hemline gets above this length, the look is unseemly. We know that it is very hipster-hip to wear cut-off jeans, but even cut-offs are usually an appropriate length. So, good men, leave some to the imagination and avoid showing off too much of your glowing white thighs. We are willing to wait for that honor till a later time…

Forget the vampires and zombies! Mermaids couldn’t be hotter this summer. And what better way to steal their flawless skin and beach tousled waves than with these mermaid inspired beauty favorites? – Courtney Leiva

Eyes

NARS It’s A Mad World Duo Eyeshadow

Play up those poppers with these sea-like shades including a bold cyan blue and bright parakeet green. ($34, sephora.com)

Too Faced Summer Eyes Palette

Take your eyes under the sea with this palette of beach-friendly shadows. Try the “Mermaid” shade for a beautiful darling blue. ($36, toofaced.com)

Laura Geller I-Care Waterproof Eyeliner

Get Ariel approved eyes with this waterproof eyeliner in a breathtaking aquamarine shade. ($18, laurageller.com)

Lashfully Lashes

Look like a real ocean babe with flirty falsies any sailor wouldn’t be able to resist. ($24-$42, lashfully.com)

Hair

Aquage Sea Salt Texturizing Spray

For siren inspired waves, pump up the sea salt with this texturizing hairspray. Spritz onto locks after a day at the beach for a beach goddess look. ($17, aquage.com)

Amika 25mm Curler in Black

Charm any pirate with loose seaside curls created by this clip free Amika curler. ($110, loveamika.com)

Lips

OCC Liptar in RX

Mermaids totally rock blue lips well, so take a cue from our favorite finned beauties with this deep blue lip tar. ($18, sephora.com)

Nails

Deborah Lippmann Mermaid’s Eyes

Bring the seashore to your nails with this drool-worthy shimmery blue polish. ($19, deborahlippmann.com)

Body

LUSH Mermaid Bath Bomb

Smell lovely and help save the ocean with this fresh aromatic bath bomb. All proceeds will go to the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society. ($4.95, lushusa.com)

Bliss Hot Salt Scrub

Love ocean salt? Then you’ll just adore this hot salt scrub! ($38, blissworld.com)

First Aid Beauty Gentle Cleansing Wipes

For squeaky clean mermaid skin, clean up any dirt and impurities with these aloe rich cleansing wipes. Always gentle on the skin, you can take these babies absolutely anywhere.  ($15, sephora.com)

H20+ Natural Spring Moisturizing Body Balm

Slather some of this moisturizing body balm for a soothing spa treatment and some serious cellular renewal. ($12, h20plus.com)

Ran out of gift-giving ideas for your beau? After all the anniversaries, holidays, and birthdays, the sentimental present list gets quite short rather quickly. While some of us worry about being insincere with gift-giving, others purchase gifts for their partners with the intent of using it for themselves. However, thinking of a gift that your long-term partner would genuinely like and put to good use can be a challenge in and of itself. We’ve got some tips to help you decide. -Meryl Lumba

1. The Active

a. Traveler

What better way to surprise your partner than a planned  trip together to backpack across Europe? You’ll obviously have to consult each other’s schedules, but exploring Europe is not only romantic but also exciting! Each day will bring about something new. Check out the Globus – European Sampler Tour (starting at $2349 at libertytravel.com).

b. Handyman

If he’s working on something new every weekend, building or re-doing a woodshop might be worth considering. He’ll definitely appreciate the new space! Here’s a grand gesture: The Journeyman (starting at $16k on barnpros.com).

c. Athlete

Whether he’s a runner or plays sports recreationally, athletes know that shoes make all the difference. The newest release, and runner’s choice shoe,  is Nike Flyknit Lunar1+ (various colors at $160 on nike.com). Choose his favorite color or surprise him with a bolder design!

3. The Creative

a. Gamer

This isn’t as hard as it first seems. Just check out his game collection! Many well-known games create specialty controls. Buying him one, similar to this Gears of War 3 Controller ($60 on amazon.com), will channel his inner gamer!

b. Reader

If your guy loves his books, buying him a rare book, or rare edition, will win his heart over again. abebooks.com is a good source to buy such treasures!

c. Artist

We all wish we had enough spare time to pursue our hobbies. Whether he channels his creativity at work, or constantly tells you that he wishes he had more time to sculpt or paint, giving him the gift of assigned time will help. Check out classes at The Painting Lounge ($50 per person for a 2 hour session). They have a little something for every art-lover!

3. The Adventurous

a. In Bed

Check out toys for him on babeland.com! You never know what he’ll love to try!

b. With Food

Does he love to cook? Check out this Cutting Board ($55 at etsy.com), which you can personalize for him!

c. With Hobbies

If he likes to try different projects every weekend, this beer making kit ($40 at williams-sonoma.com) will definitely throw him off guard! He’ll be brewing something for every season.

It’s been said that all great art is born of the metropolis, that all great women and men flock to cities, and that in the city, you don’t have to wait for next week to get the answer to a question, taste the food of any country, or find new voices to listen to. For sure, the city is a wonderful thing.

It’s also a place where people are lonely, where the most evil and atrocious events happen right next to the most virtuous ones, and where there are no backyards.

Okay, there are some. But most of us aren’t fortunate enough to have them. And those that do often have to share them. They are tiny, cement, treeless. Frankly, they suck.

Enter Backyard Porn. We couldn’t help ourselves. With the impending holiday weekend, we’ve been eyeing the many outdoor spaces that keep appearing on our favorite blogs, which we day-dreamily imagine becoming our very own one day (and which we intend to visit, however briefly, over Memorial Day).

When the intensity of backyard-less urban dwelling crushes down on you like a tequila hangover, visit Backyard Porn and slide back on a mental Adirondack chair and virtually flip a rack of ribs on the barbie.

If you could be an outdoor space, which one would you be? A grassy backyard with artistically landscaped trees? Or a big deck with sweeping curtains blowing in the wind (and a frozen margarita machine behind the hot tub?)

A salvaged wood table with rocks for seats, secluded in a cove of ivy and dogwood trees? A fire pit right on the beach?

A swinging hammock, a lavish vegetable garden, a sauna?  A pool of fish and a mystical waterfall? If no amount of money in the world was stopping you, what ideal outdoor space would you create where you live?

]]> http://www.sheckys.com/2013/05/20/what-outdoor-space-are-you/feed/ 8 http://www.sheckys.com/2013/05/20/confession-i-dont-want-kids-will-it-ruin-my-relationships-forever/ http://www.sheckys.com/2013/05/20/confession-i-dont-want-kids-will-it-ruin-my-relationships-forever/#comments Mon, 20 May 2013 04:00:18 +0000 cassdaubenspeck http://www.sheckys.com/?p=104054
A Shecky's reader asked: "What do I do if I don't want kids but he does?" As someone who doesn't want kids, but who is in a 3 year relationship with [...]]]> A Shecky’s reader asked: “What do I do if I don’t want kids but he does?”

As someone who doesn’t want kids, but who is in a 3 year relationship with a man who does, I understand the question.

I am 25 and my boyfriend is 30. When I tell people I don’t want kids but he does, they say not to worry. They say there is plenty of time for me to change my mind.

I really hate that response, because I don’t think I’m going to change my mind. Honestly, the thought of raising a child does not interest me, and I don’t see how something so important can just become interesting overnight. Wanting to be a mother seems instinctual. And I think it’s an instinct I lack.

I have never felt ashamed by it, but lately I worry. I love my boyfriend, and it is honestly my intention to marry him. But I fear he’s going to tell me we’re not compatible anymore when he realizes I really don’t want kids. Both of our clocks are ticking. On the other hand,  I know I will never let him “convince” me that we should have children. And neither should you! Even though a close couple will always make decisions together, having a baby is not his decision. It’s mine.

I think all women should consider this problem in the same light. Don’t ever think that your decision to not have children is somehow wrong, or that you’re hurting someone’s feelings by deciding you’d rather not be a Mom. Don’t ever think that you should be pressured into having a kid by someone else. No one should do that to you, especially not your partner.

In a moment of truth, you (and I) must choose: your partner’s happiness, or your own? The decision to have a baby is not like buying a new piece of furniture. It’s forever. That baby is going to take everything out of you and then some. It’s really not the kind of decision you want to flip a coin over. It’s not a decision someone else should make for you.

If you are with a man who feels that he would rather leave your relationship than respect your decision to not have children, that is his right. And consider it a favor to you if he decides to leave you. It’s easy to say, but that’s how I would think of it, too, if it happens to me. As hard as that is to imagine in my own case, I know it would be a terrible situation for my baby if I decided to have it just to make my partner happy, if it wasn’t what I wanted in my heart.

Will not wanting kids ruin the chances of ever being in a happy relationship? Of course not. Plenty of guys don’t want kids. We just need to go out and find them.

-J. Thompson

Celebrities seem to always have a well-polished look while on the red carpet, on a photo shoot or while on stage. Now you can use the same products and achieve your A-list status as well. – Chastity Palmer Davis

Halle Berry

To get that flawless and youthful appearance Halle Berry is a huge fan of the brand Kinara. Their products help keep your skin rejuvenated, nourished and healthy looking for all seasons. One of their hot sellers is the Kinara Red Carpet Facial Kit $145. This product helps with exfoliating, hydrating, diminishes appearance of lines and large pores. The kit is a great monthly beauty regimen to do at home with instant results.

Beyonce

To get a natural beauty look that remains glamorous from day into night it’s all about Mally Beauty. Beyoncé is all about the brand for her show stopping looks and performances. One popular item that is versatile is their City Chick Smokey Eye Kit $40. The kit comes in seven trendy shades ranging from bronze, greens, mauves and silvers, providing an ultimate natural Smokey eye look.

Victoria Beckham

If you’re looking to get your skin protected all day long take a beauty tip from Victoria Beckham and indulge in Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour® Cream Skin Protectant $19.50. The cream helps hydrate your skin while on the go or as you get your beauty sleep. Plus you can use to restore shine, reshape your brows and it helps with maintaining your manicure by smoothing out the cuticles.

Blake Lively

We all want that bouncy, lavishing hair that doesn’t take us forever to see fabulous results and Blake Lively secret is all about Kerastase. With Kerastase the main focus is keeping your hair healthy, shiny and with consistent treatment for working amazing hair. Their new product Kérastase Initialiste Advanced Scalp and Hair Concentrate $60 starts right at the root with its serum and helps replenish your hair with results in seven days.

Eva Mendez

Keeping your body glowing every season is important for balancing a youthful and vibrant appearance. Eva Mendez makes sure she gives her skin the royal treatment with 100 Percent Pure Coconut Nourishing Body Cream $15. It a beauty must because it a luxurious cream full of anti-aging antioxidants, vitamins, skin softening fruit oils, cocoa and avocado butters.

Flo Rida

We can’t believe he’s nominated for Top Male Artist. And we’ll say it again. His Hip-Hop/Pop singles, more often than not with another artist, are repetitive and clunky. We don’t even think DJs mix his songs at parties. It’s that awkward sounding.

Maroon 5

Top Artist? Really? This band is nominated for a handful of awards, but have they actually produced anything decent since the early 2000s? Lead singer, Adam Levine, decided to pursue a horrible stint of acting on American Horror Story, which seemed like an odd publicity move to boost visibility. Now that he’s on the reality show The Voice, it seems that Maroon 5′s timeliness and re-emerging relevance actually worked out in the band’s favor.

Chris Brown

If this man wins Top R&B Artist (and Album!) over heavy-hitters like Usher, Alicia Keys, and Ne-Yo, our faith in the R&B industry is gone. Someone as soulful and talented as Mary J. Blige should not be placed in the same category as someone like Chris Brown. Trust us, we haven’t forgotten about his “indiscretion.” How that didn’t cause his career to plummet for good, we’ll never know.

Taylor Swift

“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”– really? How complex. Perhaps it can be argued that one is never writing anything of substance unless it’s coming from a place of anguish. But how many breakups can this girl write about? She is making money because of her linear notions about breakups. We should’ve whipped out our guitars first!

Carly Rae Jepsen

We’ll admit it, “Call Me Maybe” was absolutely infectious, but does this warrant multiple nominations? Though not nearly as annoying as other artists, we’re still surprised to see her stand alongside folks like Carrie Underwood and Madonna.