In January, I had the opportunity to interview the renowned “Queen of Mean,” Lisa Lampanelli. When I asked her if she considered herself a modern-day feminist, she quickly came up with a wry remark, “All I know is feminists usually have underarm hair. But, I will say I shave regularly— although I do let the bush grow because you know what? I’m 51-years-old. We didn’t shave it in the old days, and I let it grow now! So, I guess if not having hairy armpits means I’m not a feminist, then I’m not a feminist.”
While LL was too witty and quick for me to formulate an appropriate comeback, I will say that feminists get a bad rep. The age-old assumption is that all feminists are angry, biologically female, hate men and transgender women, and toss around the word “privilege” a lot. Now while those groups of feminists do exist, we’re thinking on a much more encompassing scale– a loose one in which we won’t try to strictly define this ideology. We’re talking about feminists who aren’t afraid to stand up for their beliefs. And not that we need their approval, but here are ten valid reasons why men appreciate, rather than avoid, us:
10. We’re honest
We don’t play mind games. If a guy we’re dating oversteps his boundaries– or says or believes something horribly antiquated– we say something.
9. We don’t think all men are stupid
Not all feminists have presuppositions about femininity and masculinity. We don’t think all men are incapable of expressing themselves or acknowledging their feelings. Bottom line: we give everyone an equal shot.
8. We’re not victims
It seems that with feminism, there’s this assumption that feminists all have a victim-filled past– one that is directly caused by men, further asserting that feminism is only an ideology about hatred, discrimination, and violence. But we’re not all victims. Sometimes feminism is just about appreciation.
7. We have self-assuredness
We know what we want. We have strong goals, aspirations, and the self-confidence to pursue what we want.
6. We’re independent
Now whether it’s pride or us exerting our self-sufficiency, guys we date know we like to be independent. The playing field– or dating grounds, rather– starts off even, balanced. It’s as simple as that.
5. We’re assertive
This doesn’t mean we’re aggressive or mean. Being assertive means we stand up for what we think, what we believe. We know how we should be treated. We know what we deserve.
4. We promote equality
If we fight for the equality of women’s rights, chances are we also believe in the equality of other demographics. We stand up for human rights.
3. We’re intelligent
This may sound like a stereotype– and it may imply that we are all college educated, but we’re also speaking from a different perspective here: most feminists do a lot of reading, and one can be academic in just how they think and act. In short, a woman knows her rights, and a feminist will stand up for them.
2. We teach guys about feminism
Each person’s experience is different. Some say that women are complicated– but men are equally so! The guys we date might not be aware– at all– if what he is saying or doing is offensive towards women. By explaining these things, they learn more about feminism all the time. And who doesn’t love learning?
1. We have other identities
For the most part, we are driven. Our identities are not solely devoted to the home. Some of us can cook, provide for our families, excel at our careers, want more, and work hard towards maintaining that. Men find a driven, confident woman sexy.