They say it takes half the time you dated someone to get over them. Having said that, it doesn’t mean you should be sitting around watching The Bachelor while waiting on your Domino’s delivery guy to come in the meantime. -Allison Chase
Dating after a break-up is tricky. There are three people involved who you have to consider: you, your ex, and the new guy.
First off, you have to make sure you are ready. If not, you will end up crying on the first date and won’t be able to talk about anything else other than your ex-boyfriend. Dating too soon will just make you feel worse. On the flip side, you have to be sympathetic with the new guy. They are clearly looking for someone stable, so if you are not ready, you are just leading them on and wasting their time.
The truth is, there is no right amount of time to start dating. We know someone who broke off a three-year long engagement and waited two weeks to start dating. For others, it takes months. It all comes down to you. All we know for sure is that to TRULY start dating, you have to be somewhat healed.
The first date you go on after a break-up is going to be weird, no matter what. You will almost feel like you are cheating. Knowing this, it’s almost good to get the first date out of the way. Try to do it with someone you find not-so-promising as to not ruin a potentially good romance along the line. And be honest. Let them know, without oversharing, your situation. This could mean anything from you telling them that you prefer to take it slow, to letting them know the break-up is still “fresh” in your mind. Again, it’s not just you in the picture; you have to be considerate of the other person.
And then there is your ex. You don’t want to hurt them and seem like you’ve moved on too fast. Put yourself in their shoes. This is not to say that you aren’t allowed to date because of this — just don’t flaunt it. Keep it to yourself. After all, the best revenge is living well.
After all this is said, it takes a while to find a good match. Just because you are now dating again doesn’t necessarily mean you will find someone whom you will click with right away. It could take years to find someone worthy of being your partner. But that’s okay. You don’t need to rush into a relationship. Being single is extremely satisfying if you let it be. You have to learn to be comfortable being by yourself before you can be with someone else.
Most importantly, have fun! Don’t put pressure on yourself. When you feel like you need to start dating again, you will. But there is no such thing as too soon. It’s all circumstantial. At the end of the day it all comes down to doing what is best for you and everyone else involved.