Even in the early, butterflies-in-your-stomach stage of a relationship, when everything he says and does is dreamy and “PERFECT!” (as you keep telling your eye-rolling friends), all that perfection can come to a screeching stop when your fantasy boyfriend utters one of the offending words or phrases below. Tell us if you agree in the comments! - Molly Friedman
We love when guys tickle us, but we’d really rather not hear them announce what they’re doing. It reminds us too much of “tinkle,” which should be restricted to guys under three years old.
Guys always say this with a smirk on their face, like they’re just saying it to get a rise (or a laugh) out of us. Our cringes are not cringes of affection.
Can we all admit that saying “cray cray” should only be done ironically or satirically in 2013? Any guy saying this without at least a hint of irony should probably go back to the Ashton Kutcher School of Comedic Terminology and stay there. Forever.
Maybe in 7th grade it was funny to find out what fellatio and cunnilingus meant. Now the words seem restricted to ascot-wearing gentlemen over 70 or Latin professors. Neither demo is synonymous with sexy.
Still using this word? Still a douche.
Apparently this is the “highest rank a bro can obtain in all brodom.” We wholeheartedly object to brodom as a society, and declare all brolanguage illegal. At least within our earshot.
Unless a guy is making fun of The Donald, we don’t want to hear about the orange illusionist. Remember the naked old lady ghost in the bathroom in The Shining? Turns you off, right? Well, for girls, Donald Trump is pretty much the sexual equivalent of that old lady ghost. Yeah.
We reserve the right to use “super cute” in girly conversations. Any straight guy using the phrase sincerely just can’t sound sincere. We’ll think you’re mocking us, and we’ll probs go totes psycho on you. Whoops! Guess there are some words girls should avoid, too!
Any other suggestions? Sound off in the comments!