The Pros & Cons of Dating Older Men

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Now we’re all for hooking up with an older man but there’s a big difference between shacking up with a George Clooney-suave type versus a Woody Allen-Bengay type. If an intimate dinner consists of me watching you readjust your dentures, I’ll have to pass! The older guy-younger gal dynamic is a tale as old as time, seen in age gap-touting celeb couples ranging from cute (ex: Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas) to creepy (we’re looking at you Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson!). There’s a very fine line between hot and Hefner—sure, with an older gent, you get perks like experience and confidence, but society may do a double take when you smooch on your 50+ sweetheart or even confuse him for your dad, or worse, your grandpa! Whatever the case, before checking that 40 or 50-something box, definitely get acquainted with the pros and cons of dating an older guy.

-Kenia Mazariegos

Pros

1. Less likely to play mind games: If he’s in his forties or fifties, you won’t have to wonder “Does he like me? Why is he blowing hot ‘n’ cold? Did I do something wrong? Why isn’t he returning my bloody calls?!” There’s the exception to the rule, but 99% of the time he will implement a strict “No BS Rule.” In other words, if he likes you, you’ll know. If he wants to see you, you’ll know. If he’s feeling unsure about you, you’ll know. Older men want more than an occasional booty call so chances are, he’ll take you and the relationship seriously.

2. Has a ton of Sexual Experience: Last summer, I met this older guy who was so good in bed, I gave a silent prayer thanking God for his, um, hard work. Let’s just say it was a great summer! With years of practice, older men have made perfect and mastered the art of the female anatomy. If he was ever shy in the bedroom, that age difference gave him enough time to get over those fears, refine his bedroom skills and turn into your personal Karma Sutra. They’re all about giving and giving, and pleasing and pleasing. They’re patient, take their time and, most importantly, pay attention to your body,which is saying a lot considering younger guys are often too eager to finish the job!

3. Financially stable and has a set career: Generally speaking, older guys are usually well-established and in a better financial position than their younger counterparts. What does this mean to you? Cha-ching! Ha—just kidding! But it’s safe to say, older guys take pleasure making you feel secure in the relationship, plus it always feels nice when a guy lavishes you with presents like flowers and candy.

4. Full of wisdom and life experience: Dating an older guy has always afforded me the opportunity to learn new things—they have so much life experience that it’s only natural to be intrigued by the many lessons they’ve learned over the years. Not only will he be full of information, but great advice too!

5. Isn’t afraid to tell you what he wants:I love a confident man—I mean, who doesn’t? There’s just something sexy about a guy who knows he’s a catch and isn’t afraid to show it. While younger guys confuse confidence with arrogance, older guys know the difference and know when to turn the charm button on. Older guys aren’t afraid to get what they want or tell you what they want, which is great because if he’s just looking to have a casual relationship or something more long term, he will definitely make it clear.

6. Ages like a fine wine:What do George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Richard Gere have in common? Like a full-bodied red, they simply have gotten yummier with age! Time has made these hotties distinguished rather than boyish, which is even better in our book. That salt ‘n’ pepper hair and sophisticated dress code are just a few of the things that make these silver foxes so, well, foxy!

Image Credit: celebitchy.com

83 Comments

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  • steph:

    I am 20 and my man is 30. Hmm a decade gap eh.. But it seems not to bother me.. People always tell me that as if when i talk or give advices or my outlook in lfe is beyond my age.. So we dnt have conflicts with that.. All of this are true.. I love my man and so drawn to his years of experience in life plus the fact that uhmm yeahh he is damn good in bed ;) i enjoy our time together sharing things we know.. And moslty when he is sharing how his younger years had been.. We he can always make me laugh wen telling his teenage mischiefs.. And oh by the way he has a kid a wondergul and loving daughter.. His angel.. He’s not married or divorced but he has the custody of the child which gives him an extra points.. Because it means ge is so responsible enough..

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  • Emily:

    Goodness, thank you so much for this article! Everything you said describes my boyfriend to a “T”. I’m 31 and he’s 56. He’s a wonderful man, the stability is great, and he’s a tiger in the sack. But the possessiveness, “I know best” crap and criticizing the people I choose to hang out with is a bit too much at times. I know he means well, but sometimes I have to remind him that he still has growth and learning to do as well! I’m glad to know that it’s not just him, I guess it comes with the territory:P

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  • Renee:

    I just turned 18 and I’ve been talking to this guy I met. He’s 16 years older than I am and he’s been locked up a few times. I love the guy but I haven’t told anyone about him. When and how should I tell my mom about us? I know she’s going to be against it but I really want to further our relationship. He’s seem to change and has his life on a better track, he’s super nice, and I’m so happy with him! HELP PLEASE!!

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  • SOUTH.AFRICAN:

    am 22 years olde and i just met with 40yrs olde guy very loving,charming and also caring,matured nd very cool..so i just want to ask advise from my older sisters and brothers if is it not a bad idea to date older person?coz i had enough with 6 yrs older nd down wards.the thing is that they cant make me hapi they hurt me and i hav 4 yrs daughter nd i want a caring step dad for her..please advise..thnx

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  • Scylla:

    I think you’re a nasty, disgusting skank.

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    1. Anon:

      Why would you think that?

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  • ron macnab:

    michcal dogless is one luckey man

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  • Lovely:

    Im a 35 year old woman dating a 60 year old man. We’ve been together for a year and its been good. I fell in love with him almost immediately. I want him to marry me and make me the happiest wyoman in the world. But he says he dosent want to get married but he talks about us being together for a long time. My question is how much time do you give a man to change his mind about marriage before you let go. Getting married isvsomthing that I prayed fori just couldnt find the right guy. Now that I kno in my heart I have the right guy he’s scared. Please Help!!!

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    1. allen schattschneider:

      let him know if he truely loves you he should want to marry youm if not ask him what is he afraid of and he should be honest with you also let him know how much you really love him and if he truely does love you he would want to marry you

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  • raybana.com:

    Great article! This is the type of info that should be shared across the net.
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  • Liberty:

    Hi. I’m 21 and in a relationship with a 46year old guy! We been together for almost 4years and we had a lot of ups and downs! My family are a bit still bothered by it but accept it. He is the most amazing boyfriend and best friend! He teaches me a lot with his experiences he went through! I wouldn’t want anything better!

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  • emalie:

    I’m 24 and I’m dating a 42 year old. Its by far the best relationship I have ever had. Even houh I jave to deal with the fact that my parents hate him and the idea of us dating, we don’t let that get in our relationships way. We love each other very much.

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  • brenda:

    am 23 but dating a 57 old man but its the greatest feeling

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  • Mandy:

    I’m 21 and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now, he is 42 and it never seemed to bother me. We became friends at my job, I was a waitress and he was one of my customers, he asked for my number because I was moving and he wanted to keep in touch and maybe go for dinner. He finally convinced me to go to dinner with him at that time I was a little unsure about it. But I told myself, what the heck, why not ? He’s hot and who knows if we’d even click. Right off the bat we had quite about in common he has 2 daughters I have 1 daughter. Single parents, I’m going to school for real estate and he is a real estate agent. We have been together for 6 months and only a few times he’s broughten up the age difference. It doesn’t bother me. I really have strong feelings for him and I know he does too.

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    1. Eric:

      Mandy, Love your post, and I’m 45 and there is this girl about 20 at the recreation center where I swim daily.She flirts with me when she is there at the front desk checking me in, but I’m not sure if it would be appropriate to ask her out. She is really nice, and neither one of us have any kids. She has a super sweet personality, pretty eyes and a nice smile. Maybe she is just being friendly and I’m reading into it too much, and why would a 20 year old be interested in me?

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      1. pau:

        Girls like to have fun …..don’t read into it :) ….

  • Cindy:

    I’m 42 and have been dating a man who is 66 and in very good shape and he treats me like gold. I have met his children and they are all grown. I think they hate me. I really love this man and he loves me. We are best friends and I’ve never been more compatible or had more chemistry with anyone else. I was married for 18 years before this and am now divorced. Any advice for me? I don’t know if his children hating me will matter. Is the age thing a real big deal? Not sure if I’m being objective about this.

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    1. sam:

      hi there,
      Ive been reading your post here about your older guy who is 66. Iam the same age as you, and ive always had a thing for older guys since i was a teenager. although i married a man my age, ive never been deep down that happy and always felt there was a gap or an empty space inside me. He doesnt fulfill my deeper needs and i have never told him that, we have 3 children, and i get down sometimes and wish i was with and older man, that spoliled me and treated me like gold. sometimes i feel like leaving him but i worry about my kids too and feel it would be selfish of me. What i say for you is, i think your luck to be with that guy, and iam sure he does adore you and gives you that safe secure feeling that alot of women crave for. dont care what his kids think, they have their own life and you have yours now with him. Iam sure they dont hate you, if they can see that their father is happy then they should feel happy for him. I say hold on to him, enjoy your happiness, and to hell with what others think. Good luck x

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  • lisa:

    There is a guy that i have been talking to for almost 10 months and he is 14 years older than me and i kinda like him and he really likes me… what should i do? We are praying about it to see if Gods in this or not… but i really wanna hear from other people that is is this type of situation. I just turned 18 March 13th… should i get in this relationship or should i tell him that we both need to find someone our age. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!!

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    1. el:

      i’m 16 and theres a guy who likes me he’s 29 what do i do

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      1. mesha:

        Wait until you are eighteen to date someone who is that much older than you. I know that sounds tough, but there’s different legal crap that could get in the way that you don’t want to mess with.

    2. agapae99:

      If you have doubts, don’t jump in…you’re young, and if you have a faith in God, let go of the pressure. There is so much to life for someone so young. You were created for great things, so look for one that will walk that path with you and not pull you away ;)

      {Reply}
  • Marie:

    I’ve been dating a older man 18 yrs older and I’ve been seing him for 12yrs now I do really love him but he is so disrespectful and always blames me for his actions if why he treats me that way. I don’t know what to do anymore, does anyone have any suggestions.

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    1. Luli:

      i was married for 25 years with a man who would not take responsibility for what he did wrong. He would blame me for everything. We dated / engaged for 7 years before getting married. In total we were 32 years together. He would treat me as a Goddess with “one hand” and the other he would put me down. He was controlling, manipulative…I became sick because of the toxic relationship ; got 2 tumours (benigne in my brain and my spine), developed fibromyalgia, depression, the list is longer. I became his shadow – I consider myslef a strong person, but with the years, I became a starnge to own myself; I no longer knew who I was, what I liked, what I wanted, I could not tell right from wrong, because he convinced me that I was wrong, even though I was right. So my self-esteem, self-confidence became undermined. He controlled me through manipulation. This kind of relationship is very toxic and destructive. You need to get away from him. He needs help, and there is no possibility for a healthy relationship without his deep changing.
      Run, as fast as you can. You cannot imagine how liberated I feel now that we are separated. It is very sad, afterall we were together since I was 14 and he was 16. We grew up together. I adored him, but it got to the point that he was extremely disrespectful, emotionally abusive and cruel. And even though we were going for couple’s counselling, I was the one doing all the work to change things in the relationship. He “crossed his arms” and waited for me to fix myself and the relationship. He said in session to me and our counsellor that that I was 100% responsible for our bad relationship. You cannot change anyone, only yourself. He must realize he needs to change, he must want to change and work every day on his changing to have any transformation within. Otherwise, there is no change possible. You ate young, you will get over him. It is better feel bad temporarily with the separation, than a lifetime of abuse and ilnesses. Love is not that. You deserve to experience a healthy relationship, real love. Be well !

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    2. Cindy:

      I would suggest looking up all the information you can on narcissism. My ex was a lot like that too. Be very careful. It doesn’t sound like a good situation for you. I was married to my ex for 18 years and I cannot tell you how painful it was. Please look out for yourself and do what’s best for you.

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  • Milly:

    I’ve just turned 20 and completely fallen head over heels for my 30 year old man, after a crappy six year relationship with a boy who was very immature I was ready to give up hope, but this man has completely brought me to life and his age only reminds me of how experienced he is, but more than that, he is so incredibly caring and mature, straight forward with no head games, hilarious and the sex…Oh…my…god! He’s rather self concious still of our age gap, and what others could possibly think of it..it’s been almost three months and only our immediate family know, friends have no idea and it’s our little secret for now..Never did I think I could feel so happy with someone, I feel utterly lucky to have someone like him in my life…Older men definetly have something!

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  • Leyla's:

    I’m 20 and my boyfriend is 39 and we are very happy together he has a son which I don’t mind my boyfriend is a single parent and my boyfriend is talking about how he wants children with me id say older men are more settle and don’t run around. I love my boyfriend so much in the summer we go out hold hands even tho he does like it but I love it I’m not affraid to show the public who I’m with. I love him and he loves me that’s the main thing. Fuxk what everyone else thinks

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  • adam eve:

    My man and I have a 17 years age difference not only that we come from different religious background as well. But when we are together there is no age no religion just me and him and whole lot of love. We have been through hell from day one from other peoples disaprovals. At the end of the day we are very happy we staying together and engaged and I have never been happier!

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