The Pros & Cons of Dating Older Men

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Now we’re all for hooking up with an older man but there’s a big difference between shacking up with a George Clooney-suave type versus a Woody Allen-Bengay type. If an intimate dinner consists of me watching you readjust your dentures, I’ll have to pass! The older guy-younger gal dynamic is a tale as old as time, seen in age gap-touting celeb couples ranging from cute (ex: Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas) to creepy (we’re looking at you Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchinson!). There’s a very fine line between hot and Hefner—sure, with an older gent, you get perks like experience and confidence, but society may do a double take when you smooch on your 50+ sweetheart or even confuse him for your dad, or worse, your grandpa! Whatever the case, before checking that 40 or 50-something box, definitely get acquainted with the pros and cons of dating an older guy.

-Kenia Mazariegos

Pros

1. Less likely to play mind games: If he’s in his forties or fifties, you won’t have to wonder “Does he like me? Why is he blowing hot ‘n’ cold? Did I do something wrong? Why isn’t he returning my bloody calls?!” There’s the exception to the rule, but 99% of the time he will implement a strict “No BS Rule.” In other words, if he likes you, you’ll know. If he wants to see you, you’ll know. If he’s feeling unsure about you, you’ll know. Older men want more than an occasional booty call so chances are, he’ll take you and the relationship seriously.

2. Has a ton of Sexual Experience: Last summer, I met this older guy who was so good in bed, I gave a silent prayer thanking God for his, um, hard work. Let’s just say it was a great summer! With years of practice, older men have made perfect and mastered the art of the female anatomy. If he was ever shy in the bedroom, that age difference gave him enough time to get over those fears, refine his bedroom skills and turn into your personal Karma Sutra. They’re all about giving and giving, and pleasing and pleasing. They’re patient, take their time and, most importantly, pay attention to your body,which is saying a lot considering younger guys are often too eager to finish the job!

3. Financially stable and has a set career: Generally speaking, older guys are usually well-established and in a better financial position than their younger counterparts. What does this mean to you? Cha-ching! Ha—just kidding! But it’s safe to say, older guys take pleasure making you feel secure in the relationship, plus it always feels nice when a guy lavishes you with presents like flowers and candy.

4. Full of wisdom and life experience: Dating an older guy has always afforded me the opportunity to learn new things—they have so much life experience that it’s only natural to be intrigued by the many lessons they’ve learned over the years. Not only will he be full of information, but great advice too!

5. Isn’t afraid to tell you what he wants:I love a confident man—I mean, who doesn’t? There’s just something sexy about a guy who knows he’s a catch and isn’t afraid to show it. While younger guys confuse confidence with arrogance, older guys know the difference and know when to turn the charm button on. Older guys aren’t afraid to get what they want or tell you what they want, which is great because if he’s just looking to have a casual relationship or something more long term, he will definitely make it clear.

6. Ages like a fine wine:What do George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Richard Gere have in common? Like a full-bodied red, they simply have gotten yummier with age! Time has made these hotties distinguished rather than boyish, which is even better in our book. That salt ‘n’ pepper hair and sophisticated dress code are just a few of the things that make these silver foxes so, well, foxy!

Image Credit: celebitchy.com

68 Comments

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  • raybana.com:

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    {Reply}
  • Liberty:

    Hi. I’m 21 and in a relationship with a 46year old guy! We been together for almost 4years and we had a lot of ups and downs! My family are a bit still bothered by it but accept it. He is the most amazing boyfriend and best friend! He teaches me a lot with his experiences he went through! I wouldn’t want anything better!

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  • emalie:

    I’m 24 and I’m dating a 42 year old. Its by far the best relationship I have ever had. Even houh I jave to deal with the fact that my parents hate him and the idea of us dating, we don’t let that get in our relationships way. We love each other very much.

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  • brenda:

    am 23 but dating a 57 old man but its the greatest feeling

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  • Mandy:

    I’m 21 and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now, he is 42 and it never seemed to bother me. We became friends at my job, I was a waitress and he was one of my customers, he asked for my number because I was moving and he wanted to keep in touch and maybe go for dinner. He finally convinced me to go to dinner with him at that time I was a little unsure about it. But I told myself, what the heck, why not ? He’s hot and who knows if we’d even click. Right off the bat we had quite about in common he has 2 daughters I have 1 daughter. Single parents, I’m going to school for real estate and he is a real estate agent. We have been together for 6 months and only a few times he’s broughten up the age difference. It doesn’t bother me. I really have strong feelings for him and I know he does too.

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  • Cindy:

    I’m 42 and have been dating a man who is 66 and in very good shape and he treats me like gold. I have met his children and they are all grown. I think they hate me. I really love this man and he loves me. We are best friends and I’ve never been more compatible or had more chemistry with anyone else. I was married for 18 years before this and am now divorced. Any advice for me? I don’t know if his children hating me will matter. Is the age thing a real big deal? Not sure if I’m being objective about this.

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    1. sam:

      hi there,
      Ive been reading your post here about your older guy who is 66. Iam the same age as you, and ive always had a thing for older guys since i was a teenager. although i married a man my age, ive never been deep down that happy and always felt there was a gap or an empty space inside me. He doesnt fulfill my deeper needs and i have never told him that, we have 3 children, and i get down sometimes and wish i was with and older man, that spoliled me and treated me like gold. sometimes i feel like leaving him but i worry about my kids too and feel it would be selfish of me. What i say for you is, i think your luck to be with that guy, and iam sure he does adore you and gives you that safe secure feeling that alot of women crave for. dont care what his kids think, they have their own life and you have yours now with him. Iam sure they dont hate you, if they can see that their father is happy then they should feel happy for him. I say hold on to him, enjoy your happiness, and to hell with what others think. Good luck x

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  • lisa:

    There is a guy that i have been talking to for almost 10 months and he is 14 years older than me and i kinda like him and he really likes me… what should i do? We are praying about it to see if Gods in this or not… but i really wanna hear from other people that is is this type of situation. I just turned 18 March 13th… should i get in this relationship or should i tell him that we both need to find someone our age. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!!!!

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    1. el:

      i’m 16 and theres a guy who likes me he’s 29 what do i do

      {Reply}
      1. mesha:

        Wait until you are eighteen to date someone who is that much older than you. I know that sounds tough, but there’s different legal crap that could get in the way that you don’t want to mess with.

    2. agapae99:

      If you have doubts, don’t jump in…you’re young, and if you have a faith in God, let go of the pressure. There is so much to life for someone so young. You were created for great things, so look for one that will walk that path with you and not pull you away ;)

      {Reply}
  • Marie:

    I’ve been dating a older man 18 yrs older and I’ve been seing him for 12yrs now I do really love him but he is so disrespectful and always blames me for his actions if why he treats me that way. I don’t know what to do anymore, does anyone have any suggestions.

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    1. Cindy:

      I would suggest looking up all the information you can on narcissism. My ex was a lot like that too. Be very careful. It doesn’t sound like a good situation for you. I was married to my ex for 18 years and I cannot tell you how painful it was. Please look out for yourself and do what’s best for you.

      {Reply}
  • Milly:

    I’ve just turned 20 and completely fallen head over heels for my 30 year old man, after a crappy six year relationship with a boy who was very immature I was ready to give up hope, but this man has completely brought me to life and his age only reminds me of how experienced he is, but more than that, he is so incredibly caring and mature, straight forward with no head games, hilarious and the sex…Oh…my…god! He’s rather self concious still of our age gap, and what others could possibly think of it..it’s been almost three months and only our immediate family know, friends have no idea and it’s our little secret for now..Never did I think I could feel so happy with someone, I feel utterly lucky to have someone like him in my life…Older men definetly have something!

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  • Leyla's:

    I’m 20 and my boyfriend is 39 and we are very happy together he has a son which I don’t mind my boyfriend is a single parent and my boyfriend is talking about how he wants children with me id say older men are more settle and don’t run around. I love my boyfriend so much in the summer we go out hold hands even tho he does like it but I love it I’m not affraid to show the public who I’m with. I love him and he loves me that’s the main thing. Fuxk what everyone else thinks

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  • adam eve:

    My man and I have a 17 years age difference not only that we come from different religious background as well. But when we are together there is no age no religion just me and him and whole lot of love. We have been through hell from day one from other peoples disaprovals. At the end of the day we are very happy we staying together and engaged and I have never been happier!

    {Reply}
  • Elle:

    I’m 31 and my boyfriend is 51. We met through a dating web site and it was love at first sight!! He is tall very muscular a total hottie. We are both divorced I married young and he married late so our kids are around same age. Despite the occasional looks we get now and then when we kiss in public everything seems to flow perfectly. And yes he is amazing in bed but more than that he is affectionate and caring. The best man I’ve ever dated. The fact that I have a successful career and can provide for myself makes it hard for people to think its a money interest lol
    But that’s what people assume right away. I wish I would’ve dated older men sooner

    {Reply}
  • Goldilocks:

    Sounds a bit naive, this idyllic younger woman-older men relationship. Many older men typically see younger women as cute, “amusing” or dizzy. Charming and sexy isn’t really worth it if it comes with a strong dose of arrogance or overblown ego. I think going for someone you feel comfortable with who doesn’t make you feel as if you’re the less accomplished or experienced or less established one in the relationship is key. Date the person, not the age. Many women date older men to prove they can handle it; makes you feel more grown up, that you can date someone older, like a feather in your cap, even if the older guy is simply using you as a play thing and doesn’t really take you seriously. Let’s see how fun they are when you try to discuss a real issue or concern, and they trivialize and dismiss it as unimportant or irrelevant, while expecting you to listen to them prattle on and on about what’s bothering them about A, B, C and D. When those inequalities rare their ugly heads, then that cute may-december romance may not seem that cute anymore.

    {Reply}
  • Anita:

    i am dating a guy 17 years older than me, his currently going thru a devorce and i love everything about him, he gives me good advice and a lot of career opportunities. full of wisdom, experience and when it comes to bed i really cant complain.

    {Reply}
  • Ara:

    I have never dated an older men. I’m 32 and he is 49. We met and made a good connection. I usually don’t click well with guys my age since I find them to boyish and no priorities. We are having our first date. My opinion of myself is usually more important than what others think of me but in this case I find it quite interesting on what look will get. I’m a fit girls that looks 26, he definitely looks his age. I think people will think I’m an escort. It will be a fun experience.

    {Reply}
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  • confused:

    i am from a very conservative family, no sex before marriage but i met a man who is 29 yrs older than me, divorced with 3adult children, 2 children are older than me. He loves me and care me so much and respect my feelings and wishes, but i am afraid to go for marriage with him because i am afraid what society, my family and friends will think about us if we marry? but i do love him so strong and i am very happy with him. however, sometime his past life made bother between us because his ex wife calling him relating to their children issues and matter.

    {Reply}
  • Missbrianne:

    I work as a Gogo dancer and I’m 18, at work one night I met a 28 yr old stripper and we started talking. He is the biggest sweetheart I’ve ever met, my friends keep warning me but I don’t know what to think. I’m definetly starting to like him a lot, he’s wonderful in bed, hot as hell, funny, smart. Everything. He looks out for me and gives me great advice. I’ve never been treated so good in my life, he gets mad if I even touch a door. He’s talked about how he’s been looking for a girl whose smart and pretty. He used to be engaged and now he’s lonely. He told me that he swore he’d never do anything with anyone from work unless it was someone he was actually really interested in and thought of as wife material. And then we started fooling around :/ . I thought it was gunna be a one night stand but we cuddled after, he called me the very next day. He’s a sweetheart. I’m scare of getting hurt by him though and my friends have been telling me that I shouldn’t see him because they think he’s using me. They don’t know him at all though but idk how to feel?

    {Reply}
  • L:

    Good read! I went to bed with an older guy last night, I have no idea how old he was…I felt rude asking…he looked about 45 and I am 24! It was the most amazing sex I have had in my life and just what the doctor ordered! I gave him my number when he dropped me off this morning, he seemed convinced it was fake! I’ve surprised myself by being slightly disappointed that he hasn’t contacted me yet! Never crossed my mind to be with a guy with such a big age gap…but I’m really glad I did!

    {Reply}

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