Bathroom Etiquette for Couples

There comes a point in every couple’s relationship when things stop being a honeymoon and start getting real. Adding to the usual argument-starters of who gets the remote control and “why aren’t you answering my texts?!” is sharing the loo with your boo. That’s right, the bathroom. It’s not easy coexisting in one bathroom, from dealing with weird grooming habits to less-than-pleasant bodily functions. Here are a few bathroom-related rules to help save your sanity—and your relationship!

-Kenia Mazariegos

1. Do refrain from weird grooming habits
Does he floss while on the toilet? Brush his teeth in the shower? We all have weird habits (guilty!), especially when it comes to grooming. I mean, who can fight the urge of hollering “Man! I feel like a woman!” after shaving your legs? Unless your significant other enjoys these scenarios, let’s keep it to a minimum.

2. Don’t steal each other’s products
It’s an irresistible urge, but why? Yes, his razors work better and your lotions smell better, but it’s super annoying when he uses up all of your expensive conditioner on his barely-there buzz cut and equally as irritating to him when his pricey razor blade’s are dulled by your leg stubble. If there’s no asking involved, then it’s definitely a don’t!

3. Don’t disturb the bathroom occupant
“No, I can’t answer the phone. Yes I’m busy, please stop telling me about your day, and no, I can’t see your new tattoo through the door.” If your special someone is in the bathroom, there is no need to have a full-blown convo between doors, so stop it!

4. Don’t play peek-a-boo with your showering boo
Sure, you might think it’s cute to creep up on your bathing beau, but in reality, it’s just really creepy. Hello, haven’t you seen Psycho? No one wants to be surprised in the shower!

5. Do clean up after yourself
Take a few seconds to inspect your, er, “environment” before exiting the premises. Make sure you didn’t leave any souvenirs, whether dirty underwear or something worse! Wipe off those counters and remember to clean off foundation smears and mascara stains from the sink. Just remember—a clean home is a happy home!

6. Don’t mock your significant other’s bodily functions
An old boyfriend of mine used to slam the door open while I was in the bathroom, mocking me, poking fun, hovering over the bathroom asking, “was that a splash?” Big no-no! There should be a universal “don’t ask, don’t smell” rule. Seriously, no one wants to be interrogated during or after “dropping the kids off at the pool”.

7. Do go in the “O”
Not on the toilet seat, the floor, wall, or rug! No. Just in the “O” and kindly check the seat before retreating, please and thank you!

8. Don’t eat in the loo
You can imagine my expression when my best friend uttered, “And he took a bucket of chicken and (gasp!) ate it in the bathroom.” Shocking! Leave your noshing for later folks!

Image credit: gentlemanredux.com

Girl Talk Time: What do you think about these do’s and don’ts? Are you sharing a loo with your boo? Does your boyfriend have any weird grooming habits or shower rituals that drive you nuts?

9 Comments

Post a Comment
  • kim91:

    well me and my guy used hair products and body oils together

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  • Chennelopiza:

    Hilarious!”was that a splash?” H!

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  • avatar
    msbrown822:

    This is too funny. Thanks for the advice, but I’m going to insist on having 2 bathrooms. Lets see how that works out.

    {Reply}
  • Lisa M:

    funny!

    {Reply}
  • Crispy:

    word

    {Reply}
  • nich:

    too funny and true….

    {Reply}
  • OohLaLovie:

    My BF’s way too open yet at the same time squemish, its better just to have separate bathrooms!

    {Reply}
  • OohLaLovie:

    So funny!

    {Reply}
  • Tia:

    This is too funny! I am so guilty of #3 and #4. We have been together forever, and for some reason I prefer to stand outside the bathroom door and start a full blown conversation with him. Then, I become annoyed when he tells me to get away from the door. Great Post!

    {Reply}

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