So Your Ex is Engaged…

With all the engagements and engagement ring close-up photos we saw popping up on Facebook after the winter holidays and during Valentine’s Day, chances are many of you saw the “good news” from an ex on your feed.

Felt a tinge of jealousy, sadness, anger, awkwardness…whatever?

Here’s why and here’s how to handle yourself by Lindsay Kriger of ifonlyiknew.tv!

There is a flickering ember left in nearly every relationship when it’s over. Sometimes this ember is so small, you might not even know it’s there. Unfortunately, all it takes is one tiny ember to start a fire.

A slight breeze—as light as a sneeze—might get that fire going. Or in the case of those dormant relationship embers, that breeze might come in the form of whisperings about your ex planning a wedding (really?). Or, the accidental (yeah, right!) click of your ex’s Facebook page…which announces that their relationship status is now engaged (WTF?).

Even though the break-up might have happened two, five or 127  years ago, you feel as if you’re experiencing that let-down all over again. Suddenly you have this urge to kick your ex in the shins (again).

So let’s analyze this a bit.

I suppose this happens because the human tendency is to value something or someone you cannot have. Plus, there’s the spotty workmanship of a human’s memory retrieval system—which can often wind up presenting you with a list of all the good memories experienced with a person, even though you’ve urgently requested a data collection of all the bad memories.

But mostly, I believe this heavy feeling in the heart occurs because hearing your ex is engaged is the absolute finality of a break-up. It makes it crystal clear that you and your ex will never, ever, ever get back together. Even if you knew this on a conscious level, hearing about your ex’s engagement might be the first newsflash to your subconscious that the relationship is completely, totally done for. You will not be having a Hollywood movie ending—like in The Notebook—where the couple ultimately reconnects.

Recently, a few of my friends found out that their exes had gotten engaged.

“Harold’s getting married,” said Charlotte, “and I haven’t had a serious boyfriend since we broke up. How do you go from wanting to spend the rest of your life with me to wanting to spend an eternity with someone else? I just don’t get it!”

“My ex Sheryl’s engaged,” said Steve. ”I’m trying to find out who this guy is—what he does for a living, how tall he is, if he works out, if he’s funnier than I am—so I can understand why him and not me.”

“My ex high school boyfriend and first love became engaged this past summer,” said Amanda.“When I saw the photo of him with his fiancee, I felt a pit in my stomach. I’m not sure why. I didn’t ever expect us to end up together, but there was always a flirtation still there.”

All of these different reactions share something in common. They reveal a sense of lingering hope.

Now normally hope is a good thing—a very good thing! But sometimes hope can get us into trouble. I know—how can there be “bad hope”? But there is. That tiny ember left glowing within every supposedly burnt-out relationship is an ember of bad hope. Meaning? If you’re really (really!) (really!!!!!!!!!!) over an ex, there should be absolutely no lingering embers of hope.

Also meaning? It was a fortuitous thing when my friends recently found out their exes got engaged. It created the ultimate closure. It closed the door shut, leaving them on the other side of the closed door to start looking around on this side of the terrain for a new and better partner. I believe that on some level these friends of mine might not have been fully ready to move forward into their next relationship if there were still some unfinished embers left in their last relationship.

For me, there are some past relationships that still have stubborn embers smoldering—but there are some that are completely ember-free. For example, my ember-less relationship with David, my first high school boyfriend. Recently my mom texted me that David was engaged. I texted her back, “I could care less”…and I actually meant every one of those 17 characters.

So what do you do if you find out your ex is engaged and need a little extra help snuffing out those embers?

1. Make a list of why this person is not right for you.

2. Ask your friends why they didn’t like this person for you. And whenever possible, try to laugh a lot with your friends about how wrong your ex was for you.

3. Remind yourself if your ex can get married, so can you. Allow their engagement to represent the possibility of the good kind of hope—the hope that you too might soon find your happily-ever-after partner.

-Lindsay Kriger of ifonlyiknew.tv

Lindsay Kriger is a New York University grad with a B.A. in Psychology and the founder of IfonlyIknew.tvthe go-to relationship resource for young women. She has trained with the PAX Mastership and Leadership Program, taught by internationally recognized Relationship Expert Alison Armstrong, and at 23 is the program’s youngest trainee to date. Lindsay has attended numerous seminars on male-female relationships and partnership-building, establishing herself as a relationshipologist and dating guru for young women. She lives in New York City with her dog, Harvey.

GIRL TALK TIME: What do you think? How did you feel when any of your exes got engaged? What do you think of this advice?

93 Comments

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  • Jonathan Arianna:

    Greetings to every body that is reading this testimony.

    Me and my boyfriend were seriousely in love for six years and we were planning to get married but one day he came to my house and told me he was no longer interested in our relationship simply because he was dating another rich lady who promise to buy him a car and to sponsor their wedding. And i suffer heartbreak for seven months and i was not tired of loving him.so i take a bold step by contacting a spell caster who help me bring my ex boyfriend back. he is powerful and great his contact is Adugutempleofsolution@gmail.com you can also contact him for help because i know dr Adugu will help you to solve your problem,My name is Jonathan Arianna

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  • heidi:

    Hello am Heidi So trustworthy spell caster are still online?i never believed until i saw some post about DR.abaka on how he has helped lots of people on the internet.I told him i have had about him on internet and before i told him my problem,He has already told me what i came for and said people had scammed me off my money and added pain to my pain i was so shocked,He just told me that everything will be okay within 48hours,i told him this was what does fake spell caster also told me,He said i should give him a try which i did.Truly am just short of words and over excited for what DR.Oodlia has done for me exactly when the 48hours was completed the call i got was from my lover that left me with pain for over 4year,He said on phone Heidi,Can we talk in a sad and shy tone,i was like yes then he came to my house and apologized to me that he was sorry and proposed to me that same day and asked if i would marry him and i said yes,And our wedding will be on july 20 friends you are coordinately invited am so happy,Thanks to DR.abaka you can contact him on olunkunspelltemple@outlook.com his truly a man you can trust and confide in.

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  • Evelyn Clifton:

    My name is Evelyn Clifton. I have been carefully following comments about spell casters and their love spell for weeks now, and I was able to discover the fake and real spell casters because the fake spell casters I contacted took my money and never gave me result that I wanted, three of them took my money without result until I finally contacted Prince Duro because people talked more about him too.

    Prince Duro surprised me and told me my problems, even things that I was ashamed to tell him, he told me everything and asked me to believe in his work because he has seen that I have suffered from several emotional stress and disappointments which I do not deserve.

    I believed him and let him try too; he then cast the love spell and brought back my boyfriend as he promised. I am happy and very excited because he has finally dealt with the demonic spirits that always causes breakups to most of my relationship. Please don’t let fake love spell casters take your money without doing your work. Contact Prince Duro today with his email: ultimaterelationshipsolution@gmail.com

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    1. Stephanie:

      Shut the f*ck up already!!! My god!!! I’m so sick of you f*cktards blowing up the comments section on every single relationship/break up blog floating around on the internet!!! You guys are pretty fu*king retarded for thinking someone would actually believe this bullshit, but the fact you’re attempting to prey on the weak and vulnerable is pretty fu*king slimy.

      You guys should climb ontop of the eiffel tower, hold hands and sing kumba-ya, then JUMP OFF.

      {Reply}
  • yahoo:

    Thank you for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will
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    {Reply}
  • Sara Tekle:

    This is incredible!! I still imagine how Priest Quanda brought my husband back to me in just 24 hours.. No one could have ever made me believe that this testimony that I’m about to write now would actually one day be written by me. because I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a trustworthy source (a very close co-worker) that Priest Quanda is a very devoted, talented, and gifted spell caster, and after much cajole she got me to visit this website.It was one of the most excellent thing I have ever done in my whole life. My love life was in total mess after my husband dumped me for another woman. I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. So, with nothing but my pride to lose, I checked it out. I was flabbergasted. This man is for REAL. He did whatever magic he does, and lo and behold – no more than 24 hours later, I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage psychotherapy, and we’re doing very, very well right now. and now he has loved me more than ever..Thank you so much Priest Quanda for your Love and for reuniting my family back sir. Website: http://priestquandahighmagicspell.webs.com and his Email:priestquandahighmagicspell@outlook.com. Sara Tekle..

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  • Anita:

    Hello I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how i got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month,But when i meet a friend that introduce me to Dr Akhere the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Dr Akhere about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Dr Akhere at the following email address: DrAkerespiritualtemple@gmail.comand get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: DrAkerespiritualtemple@gmail . and get your problems solve like me..

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  • patient:

    THESE PEOPLE ARE SCAMS AND THEIR TESTIMONIES OF SPELL CASTERS MUST BE IGNORED.Dr Goodluck is the real spell caster. I tried all those people and I was really scammed until one day I came crying to my friend asking to help me with my confusion. She later told me about Dr Goodluck which my mind really urged me to give a try. She testified about how Dr Goodluck brought back her Ex-lover in less than 3 days and reversed the effect of her lost womb, and at the end of her story she gave me Dr Goodluck email address. I decided to give Dr Goodluck a try though with doubt. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my Hubby came begging. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than before, am pregnant now to God be the glory. Dr Goodluck is really a gifted man and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man… Come to think of it I didn’t pay much and all I have to do is tell the world about this wonderful man. Even my pastor said that God works mysteriously, that some men are used by God to help others. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Contact Dr Goodluck anytime, he is the answer to your problems. Here’s his contact:drextrapowerghost@gmail.com

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  • franker:

    I want to say a big thank you to Dr omamen for the good work he has done in my dad’s life and my marriage. He helped my dad in his court case, a spell was cast for my dad 2days before his court case and cause of that the judge ruled in his favor…and he also helped in reuniting me and my husband, i can’t explain how he did it I’m actually short of words. But one thing is certain he’s so good at what he does, he sure knows how to cast a real spell and the one that works. I’m so blessed by him and he can as well bless you too, all you need to do is to contact him on (omamenspiritualtemple@gmail.com)

    {Reply}
  • Adrain walcolt:

    My name is Adrain walcolt I live in United States. I am happily married with two kids and a beautiful wife but something terrible happened to my family along the line, I lost my job and my wife packed out of my house because I was unable to take care of her and my kids at that particular time. I manage all through for four years until I cannot cope with the situation again, so I searched on the internet for any help about getting back my family and job, but I come across so many testimonies, so I decided to Try Dr. omamen of (omamenspiritualtemple@gmail.com.) who attended to me and instructed me on things to do which I did with faith and within 12 hours, my office called and gave me back my work on that same day, my wife come back with my kids and apologized for her actions

    {Reply}
  • Anita james:

    TESTIMONY,ON HOW ARE GET MY EX HUSBAND BACK WITH
    THE HELP OF DR,OGBEIFUN SPELL TEMPLE
    My name is ANITA JAMES and I base in USA…“My life is back!!! After 2years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called DR,OGBEIFUN, which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called MRS JOY, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 7 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped DR,OGBEIFUN ‘s E-mail address, dr.ogbeifunspelltemple2@gmail.com, After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him Email and explained my problem to him, and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back in the next 7day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do, Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn’t call me for the past (2 years),gave me a call in just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. DR,OGBEIFUN is really, a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man… If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Try DR,OGBEIFUN, spell temple anytime, he might be the answer to your problems. Here’s his Email contact:{dr.ogbeifunspelltemple2@gmail.com}.

    {Reply}
  • lee:

    My Name is Lee Kima, From United Kingdom. I wish to share my
    testimonies with the general public about what this man called
    Dr.AGBAKOR has just done for me , this man has just brought back my
    lost Ex husband to me with his great spell POWER, I was married to
    this man called Steven we were together for a long time and we loved
    our self’s but when I was unable to give him a child for 5 years he
    left me and told me he can’t continue anymore BCUS he was seeing
    another woman… then I was now looking for ways to get him back so i
    try all i could to reach some white WITCH dortors and even some so
    called pastors but all to no avain… until a friend of mine told me
    about this man and gave me his contact email(
    agbakorspelltemple@gmail.com) then you won’t believe this when I
    contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and
    bring my lost husband back, and after a month I miss my month and go
    for a test and the result stated am pregnant am happy today i am now a
    mother of a baby girl and my husband is back to me now, thanks to you
    once again the great Dr.AGBAKOR for what you have done for me, there
    is no problem on this earth that his spell power can not solved for
    you because i have seen what his power can do… if you are out there
    passing through any of this problems listed below:

    1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) COURT CASE AND WORK SECURITY SPELLS:
    (7) You want your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) Have you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money back.
    (10)you need a spell to Stop Divorce ?
    (11) have you been sick or dis-able and you need healing?
    contact his phone number or email now….

    Mobile number…+2348063345330
    Email:agbakorspelltemple@gmail.com
    THIS MAN IS GREAT THANKS FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME.I WILL CONTINUE
    TO SHEAR THIS TESTIMONY TO THE PUBLIC IN THE INTERNET.

    {Reply}
  • Patrica Edward:

    Beware of internet spell caster who are scammers..An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my ex husband back to me……….. My Names is Patrica Edward ,AM from United states .i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in June last year on a business summit i meet a man called Dr Goodluck, is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love s gone misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job i m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 4weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 year i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try and in 6 days when i returned to the state my husband called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my husband’s name and all i wanted him to do well we are happily back now and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help his email address: Drextrapowerghost@gmail.com

    {Reply}
  • Doctor itapu:

    I want to use this medium to tell the world about Doctor itapu who helped me in getting my lover back with his powerful spell, my ex and i where having misunderstanding which led to our breakup though i went to beg her several times to please forgive and accept me back because i know i offended her but each time i went i always feel more deeply in pain and agony because she always walk out on me and would not want to listen to what i have to tell but on i faithful day as i was browsing i came across a testimony of a woman whose problem was more than mine and yet Doctor itapu helped her with his spell so i was happy and also contacted Doctor itapu for help via email and then told him my story but the only thing he said was that i will wipe you tear with my spell so lucky for me everything went well just as he promised and right now i have got my fiance back and we are both living happily. there is nothing Doctor itapu can not do with is spell and just as promise my self i will keep testifying on the internet of how Doctor itapu helped me.Are your problem greater than mine or less i give you 100% guarantee that Doctor itapu will put an end to it with his powerful spell, contact Doctor itapu for help Via email doctoritapu@yahoo.com

    {Reply}
  • Anne Lume:

    Good Day,,, My name is Mrs Anne Lume, Am from United States, I had a serious quarrel with my husband due to my parent, my parent never like him to be my husband, but i love him so much that i will rather die to let him go off me, that was how i met this great man on online whose name is Lord Ferdinard, he told me that everything will be fine that he can do a spell that will make my parent love him and allow me to marry him without any quarrel thoroughly it came to pass my mum and dad love him most than before we are now happy married family,please help me in thanking him for his help, here is the email lordspiritualtemple@gmail.com

    {Reply}
  • Victoria:

    Its like a dream to me now but i can still remember vividly about this same time last year and valentine was approaching my husband started pulling away from me and my 2 kids and finally he decided that he was going to move out of the house and file for divorce.
    This was something i could not take because i had built my whole life around Abel and i could not stand loosing him to another woman so i started making research on how to prevent all this from happening.
    when online and read stories about so many spell caster and laugh cus they all look like fabricated stories but there was this particular story and the lady telling the story left her contact phone number and Email address so i contacted her. she was based in the states and she gave me full details on how dr ekuku brought back her man.
    so i contacted dr ekuku behold after 48 after i provided all he asked for my man came back to his senses and even got me the best valentine gift even which was a red CRV i am so happy to say we are still together till date and now i am even signatory to all his account.
    Pls do contact dr ekuku the great on the following for help.
    Email :ekukutempleofsolution@gmail.com
    Telephone :+2348111957679.
    Name:Victoria Pepple
    Location: USA,ILLINOIS CHICAGO

    {Reply}
  • luck:

    I have many problems in my life and have been to so many spell casters with no results and as a result of this, I ended up in a huge debt.One day I used internet and felt some kind of strange but kind and gentle force as if someone was guiding me to search for spell casters. I can’t remember the words I typed in the search engine but I was directed to priestessmunak And that was it! I felt so lucky to have found spell caster. It all happened so naturally and easily and I am glad it did. No words can express the feeling I had.Despite all the bad experiences I had with FAKE spell casters on the internet in the past, nothing could stop me from reaching my dreams, so I ordered a spell from dr luck I had sleepless nights and was was very worried because I promised myself I won’t approach a spell caster for help but did as it was time for me to help myself, stop crying and stop feeling sorry for myself.I also knew there was someone out there who is capable of helping me contact him on his private mail on drluckspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on +2348154945393

    NUXEL FROM HOLLAND

    {Reply}
  • Eunice:

    We promise to love each other for the rest of our lives, we also plan to get married, but suddenly he broke up with me without saying anything.My heart was broken and i have no where to turn to for help until i meet DR.LOVESPELL.Who was so nice in helping me get my lover back in a flash.I just wanted to say a big thanks for helping me, THANKS YOU.I have tried other spell casters and they failed me,please i advise you not to waste time contact DR.LOVESPELL now before it too late.He alone can help you bring you lover back.(lovespellpower@hotmail.com)tel.no. is +2348104004707.Eunice

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  • Susanne:

    DR.LOVESPELL brought back my lover when others failed he is the best spell caster on planet earth.
    I had contacted several spell casters to help bring back my lover after he left me and my son for 2 yrs and moved in with another woman they usually promise and at the end fail.
    I was on the street and a lady was sharing this hand bill so i collected one and the content was about this spell caster that brought back her lover and also in the hand bill she said she is sharing the hand bill to raise awareness that there are still real spell casters and also as a way to thank the great spell caster DR.LOVESPELL.
    So contacted him and after 24 hrs my whole story changed my husband who had left without any reason came back.I amusing this post as my own hand bill to tell people how great DR.LOVESPELL is and also to share his contact with the whole world.his email:lovespellpower@hotmail.c om for your solutions or call +2348104004707. Susanne

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  • Emiliano Babarah:

    Oh my God, I’m so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is EMILIANO BABARAH. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he uthen nderstand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR ORIOMON who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR ORIOMON cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR ORIOMON who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is (oriomonspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.

    Thanks EMILIANO BABARAH_USA

    {Reply}
  • Danny Wayne:

    I do not know how to thank GREAT VUGA for bringing happiness back to my family. My name is Danny Wayne and i do really wanna tell the whole world that there is a spell caster called GREAT VUGA that is so real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things but when i lose my wife for 4 years, i required help until i found Vugalovetemple@gmail. com A great spell caster, and he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my wife back in just 48hours but i was in doubt, and after the spell has been cast, 48hours later, just as the spell caster said, my phone rang, and surprisingly it was my wife who has not called me for the past 4 years, and she made an apology for the pain she has caused me and she told me that she is ready to come back home for me. GREAT VUGA really made her to know how much i loved and needed her. And he also opened her eyes to picture how much love we have to share together. With this testimony right now i am the happiest man on earth and our love is now stronger than how it was even before our divorce and that is why I will keep sharing this testimony all over the world. All thanks goes to GREAT VUGA for the good work that he has done for me. Here is his email address if you are having the same or similar problem contact him now because he is very powerful and he will always help you. Believe him and do all he ask you to do and never doubt him in any way. Contact him now on Vugalovetemple@gmail. com

    {Reply}

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