So Your Ex is Engaged…

With all the engagements and engagement ring close-up photos we saw popping up on Facebook after the winter holidays and during Valentine’s Day, chances are many of you saw the “good news” from an ex on your feed.

Felt a tinge of jealousy, sadness, anger, awkwardness…whatever?

Here’s why and here’s how to handle yourself by Lindsay Kriger of ifonlyiknew.tv!

There is a flickering ember left in nearly every relationship when it’s over. Sometimes this ember is so small, you might not even know it’s there. Unfortunately, all it takes is one tiny ember to start a fire.

A slight breeze—as light as a sneeze—might get that fire going. Or in the case of those dormant relationship embers, that breeze might come in the form of whisperings about your ex planning a wedding (really?). Or, the accidental (yeah, right!) click of your ex’s Facebook page…which announces that their relationship status is now engaged (WTF?).

Even though the break-up might have happened two, five or 127  years ago, you feel as if you’re experiencing that let-down all over again. Suddenly you have this urge to kick your ex in the shins (again).

So let’s analyze this a bit.

I suppose this happens because the human tendency is to value something or someone you cannot have. Plus, there’s the spotty workmanship of a human’s memory retrieval system—which can often wind up presenting you with a list of all the good memories experienced with a person, even though you’ve urgently requested a data collection of all the bad memories.

But mostly, I believe this heavy feeling in the heart occurs because hearing your ex is engaged is the absolute finality of a break-up. It makes it crystal clear that you and your ex will never, ever, ever get back together. Even if you knew this on a conscious level, hearing about your ex’s engagement might be the first newsflash to your subconscious that the relationship is completely, totally done for. You will not be having a Hollywood movie ending—like in The Notebook—where the couple ultimately reconnects.

Recently, a few of my friends found out that their exes had gotten engaged.

“Harold’s getting married,” said Charlotte, “and I haven’t had a serious boyfriend since we broke up. How do you go from wanting to spend the rest of your life with me to wanting to spend an eternity with someone else? I just don’t get it!”

“My ex Sheryl’s engaged,” said Steve. ”I’m trying to find out who this guy is—what he does for a living, how tall he is, if he works out, if he’s funnier than I am—so I can understand why him and not me.”

“My ex high school boyfriend and first love became engaged this past summer,” said Amanda.“When I saw the photo of him with his fiancee, I felt a pit in my stomach. I’m not sure why. I didn’t ever expect us to end up together, but there was always a flirtation still there.”

All of these different reactions share something in common. They reveal a sense of lingering hope.

Now normally hope is a good thing—a very good thing! But sometimes hope can get us into trouble. I know—how can there be “bad hope”? But there is. That tiny ember left glowing within every supposedly burnt-out relationship is an ember of bad hope. Meaning? If you’re really (really!) (really!!!!!!!!!!) over an ex, there should be absolutely no lingering embers of hope.

Also meaning? It was a fortuitous thing when my friends recently found out their exes got engaged. It created the ultimate closure. It closed the door shut, leaving them on the other side of the closed door to start looking around on this side of the terrain for a new and better partner. I believe that on some level these friends of mine might not have been fully ready to move forward into their next relationship if there were still some unfinished embers left in their last relationship.

For me, there are some past relationships that still have stubborn embers smoldering—but there are some that are completely ember-free. For example, my ember-less relationship with David, my first high school boyfriend. Recently my mom texted me that David was engaged. I texted her back, “I could care less”…and I actually meant every one of those 17 characters.

So what do you do if you find out your ex is engaged and need a little extra help snuffing out those embers?

1. Make a list of why this person is not right for you.

2. Ask your friends why they didn’t like this person for you. And whenever possible, try to laugh a lot with your friends about how wrong your ex was for you.

3. Remind yourself if your ex can get married, so can you. Allow their engagement to represent the possibility of the good kind of hope—the hope that you too might soon find your happily-ever-after partner.

-Lindsay Kriger of ifonlyiknew.tv

Lindsay Kriger is a New York University grad with a B.A. in Psychology and the founder of IfonlyIknew.tvthe go-to relationship resource for young women. She has trained with the PAX Mastership and Leadership Program, taught by internationally recognized Relationship Expert Alison Armstrong, and at 23 is the program’s youngest trainee to date. Lindsay has attended numerous seminars on male-female relationships and partnership-building, establishing herself as a relationshipologist and dating guru for young women. She lives in New York City with her dog, Harvey.

GIRL TALK TIME: What do you think? How did you feel when any of your exes got engaged? What do you think of this advice?

107 Comments

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  • Samantha Ivan:

    I want to testify of the good work of Dr Goodnews who helped me in achieving the thing i never thought i was going to have again. My name is Samantha Ivan from Mexico i was in a relationship for 2 years with a man i believed he loved me so much. At a time he started acting funny in every little thing i do so i knew something was wrong i tried everything i could to please him but none was working after a while i noticed some changes in him, i tried to do things that will make him happy several ways but all to no avail. Shortly i noticed he was seeing another girl i tried to make him understand that i loved him so much but he wouldn’t even listen.one day i read a testimony on a similar case a person testified of the work of this great Dr Goodnews even when i did not believe i was convinced by my friend so i contacted him and tried his method reluctantly, surprisingly in less than two weeks my lover contacted me and till date we are still together and planning to get married soon.so if you are going through a similar thing or you have a problem just contact him i guarantee you he will help you. here is his email:dr.goodnewz@gmail.com.

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  • becky:

    Hi i am becky..Are you facing problems which you cant even share with your colleagues and don’t know where you can get solutions to the problems, problems including on how to; Get your ex back; Get your money back from scammers; Acquire protection; Acquire good luck; Maintain marriage stability; Seek revenge; Solve love problems Beauty spells; and you have come a long way up to this place and still haven’t been able to get your results successfully.. Well here is simply a chance to get your problems cleared off for good.. I have simply been in a situation like this before but by the grace of God i am now freed of my problems and thanks to PROPHETALUTA who was introduced to me by a friend of mine in the states.. You can also contact him on his email to share your problems with him and get your problems finally solved within a short period of time Email ID- PROPHETALUTASOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM..

    {Reply}
  • avatar
    adamcohen:

    You know that feeling you get like blood rushing up to your head when you see or read something you feel its too not real to believe like get out of here that not real!!! yeah that was just how i use to fill each i bumped in one or two article about spell casting online like that not so happening. Yet it was that same spell casting got me to live happily with the love of my life. Just thought you should know, Metodo Acamu was the spell caster behind the spell that brought me eternal happiness. Am gay and a school teacher from Belgium and my finance so happened to be a teacher also but we did work at the same school. We got engagement like 8 months before he started teach in a particular high school i can’t disclose. I know eight months is a long time to be engagement but we planned our wedding to happen in the united state of America so we were preparing for the big day. Any way not every parent would like for there children to be educated about same sex as a matter of fact we teacher are not allowed to talk about our sexual orientation at school to the kids we teach. Its not even right to talk about any type personal stuff with kids at school but our case was different we were getting married and it was kind of the most talked about wedding of the year not like it was like that of Kim and Mr west but co teachers were talking some how it fell into the months of the kids at school that was went the problem came. Parent started talking saying how can the school let this happen they don’t want their child hearing thing like this and start talking about it at home. Where we stay, there aren’t a lot gay people. You can only find one out of ten persons that are gay so it was hard on us. There was pressure form the school to either call off the wedding or force quite our jobs. I was ready to leave everything just to be with my love but he was too scared. He didn’t want to loss his job cos it took a while to find something that he loved doing. I knew he loved so much {and he still does} but he was scared of his future i tried everything ti make him see we can be together an find a way to deal with the school stuff but he still broke off our engagement and called off the wedding and stopped contacting almost like he doesn’t love me any more. I was exhaust didn’t want he wanted but i knew he loved me so much. So after literally trying everything to get us together as we were before we broke our engagement i thought i should give spell casting a try and really it worked. When i explained to Metod Acamu how i have tried all means but failed to make my fiancé become my fiancé again and get married, he said all i need was to use a spell to make him feel that love he felt before that made him put a ring it. He asked for some materials to use to get the spell casted he said i could bring it over to his fortress or send it over or send down the expenses to him to get them if i can find them to buy. It took some day to complete the spell and just after the spell was completed and made effective my heart desire was fulfilled we did not have to live Belgium any more we got married here their month but honeymooned in USA. If you don think it was the spell that made this happen then i don’t know how then to explain the fact that he quite his teaching job he loved with his life cos everybody who knew him knew how he loved his job too much to quite for anything or anyone. And i would advice asked Metodo to get the materials for the spell for you its way less costly. TO contact him use this { metodoacamufortressx{at}yahoo. com } where {at} is @ and note don’t leave a space btw . and come when mailing him

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  • avatar
    juanher:

    No Body is asking or forcing you to do anything but i have an important message for those who are looking for way to get their relationship back.I need you to read this carefully and understand what I’m writing. Spell casting is real, And is as real as you walking into a pizza store to get one to eat.But you have to be carefully not to contact the wrong spell caster because some can really ruin your life for you.I was going to mention one real and trust worthy spell caster to you all but still it your choice to want help from him.I mean I’m not asking any one to contact him i just want you to know maybe you feel you’re drowning in your problem and there is no way out then contact OLOLO SPELLS for help and i promise you will be glad you did because he is true and honest with is customers. contact via email: ajayiololo @ yahoo.com

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  • kathrine gomez:

    Thanks for responding to my short message, I’m very glad.. Well I’m pretty new to this Internet dating scene though.. well i was glancing through profiles when your fascinating profile and Tender looking face with a nice smile pecked my Interest that allowed me to contact you, And I must admit that you’re ravishingly beautifull. your beauty pecked my Interest also and you wouldn’t tell me that you’re still single???Lol…I will love to know more about you if you don’t mind and hope to hear from you, and i wish to find you more interesting, to have some meaningful conversation with you and to see if that can bring us more closer to each other and sees where it goes from there.

    {Reply}
  • john:

    My name is John Kerry, I leave in the USA, my girlfriend and I have been together for over 4 years now, in the last few weeks I have been having problems with her, I do love this girl a lot and do want to get married to her but at times I did feel a little confused about this and has wondered if she has been true to the relationship…until I found Mark, who told me that she was not being true with me.. I did later find out that she has been seeing her ex-boyfriend I was devastated and did not know what to do, although I still loved her and could not see myself with anyone else, I did not want to lose her and Mark assured me that they could help me with this problem, he told me about a spell caster Dr. mako decided to give it a trier so I contacted Dr.mako once again to let him know that I did want to get help with this. With the powers that they do have my girlfriend and I did work a lot of things out and she has come back to me and we are now back together and engaged I did get over the fact that she has cheated on me but sometimes we do need to forget the past and move on to a better future and without Mark help I don’t think it would have ever worked out. He is truly an Angel sent from up above! You can contact him via his e-mail: makotemple@hhotmail.comThank you Dr. mako

    {Reply}
  • get your ex back Long distance:

    Very good info. Lucky me I ran across your website by accident (stumbleupon).
    I’ve book-marked it for later!

    Feel free to surf to my blog: get your ex back Long distance

    {Reply}
  • Carlos, Chile:

    Carlos, Chile

    I didn’t email you in awhile. I just want to tell you everything has changed. Before life was hell, now its like heaven on earth. It’s really amazing how my life changed with your very powerful spell.and also happy to share this testimony to the word how this d.rivers help me his email d.rrivershebalisthome@gmail.com

    {Reply}
  • Stephanie:

    LOVE SPELL

    This powerful White magic love spell is tailored to bring your lover back in your arms permanently and with no delay. I use the best spell casting techniques to make your lover come home. This spell is customized to your situation and deals specifically with the barriers that have risen between you and your ex-partner. One by one, all obstacles will be removed until your lover realizes that leaving you was a mistake and desire nothing but coming back into your arms.you can also contact him in is email address /dr.kokotemple@gmail.com

    {Reply}
  • Linda Wayne:

    I don’t believe in spell casting until i met pastor David who help me in getting back my husband,my husband left home one day and never came back,one day i found out that he went living with another woman,my sister then told me she has some one who can help me bring him back with prayers,at first i did not answer her because i did not believe in spell casting,but when i got fed up i had no choice but to talk with the pastor,he prayed for me without asking for money and asked me to wait for 48hours,i can’t believe my eyes when i saw my husband in my house asking me to forgive him.you can contact pastor David through pastordavidhomeofanswer@gmail.com.

    NAME:Linda Wayne
    COUNTRY:USA

    {Reply}
  • elizabeth rosas:

    After being in relationship with emma for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drinegbedionspellhome@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR HIS EMAIL
    ADDRESS IS:drinegbedionspellhome@gmail.com CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEM

    {Reply}
  • Kate Mike:

    My name is Kate Mike,i wish to share my testimonies to the general public about hw i got my husband back through the great prayers of pastor David,i was married to this man called williams,we were maried for 2years bt i was unable to give a child,he left me and told me he can’t continue anymore,so i started looking ways to get him back until a friend of mine gave me the link to pastor David email and i contacted him,u can’t believe that he did not ask for money but only ask for my details and pray for me for free,believe me before 48hours my ex husband came back begging,pastor David did not only pray for husband to come back but for me to grt pregnant,after a month i got pregnant through the prayers of pastor David.you can contact him on pastordavidhomeofanswer@gmail.com.

    Name:Kate Mike
    Country:USA

    {Reply}
  • Robin Laura:

    I have been in great bondage for about 4 years suffering in the hands of a cheating husband. We were living happily until he meant his old time girl friend and he started dating her again outside our marriage and before i knew it he stopped caring for his own family, to the extent that he was planning to marry her and divorce me. I cried and reported him to his family members but he never listened to anyone and to cut the story short, i came in search for a real spell caster who could destroy their relationship and make him come back to me and our 2 kids again; on my search i saw people sharing testimony on how their marriage was restored by Dr. Eze Malaka and i pick his email and told him the problem that i was going through, and he agreed to help me and told me never to worry. After he had finished casting the spell, on the second day, they both had a quarrel and he beat up his girlfriend and he came back home begging me to forgive him that his eyes are clear now that he will never do any thing that will hurt his family again and promise to be a caring father and never to cheat on me again. I am so happy that i did not lose him to the girl and all appreciation goes to Dr. Eze Malaka for his great work. You are a Great spell caster and to you all that are faced with this or similar problem to this, please contact him now on extremewhitelovespell@yahoo. com

    {Reply}
  • avatar
    bruneldanato:

    Probably all this testimony you read about spell casting online are spam right?And yeah some are spam some think all of them are spam which is totally not bad and i also know some believe spell casting really works but have not been able to find the right one.Well i think i found the right spell caster Metodo.I know he is real not cos he helped me but because i was there in his temple i Have seen him and his temple and i tell you it can’t get more really that what am writing now.I know you may want to know why and what lead me to contact a spell caster i am a south African woman here in south African as a matter of fact in Africa having a male child is like the most important thing in a marriage and it turned out that i am married to a very traditional man as in a he believes the male child carry the family name on and on but the females get married and change there name which is true.I were married for six years and i had no male child for him .Maybe friends and family filled his head with a lot of things like i don’t have a male child for him and as a result he need to get a divorce and get another wife that can bear him a male child.I always thought the people that filled his head with this ideas where is family and friends the people that i smile and dine with.The very people who ought to have advice him rightly.I never found out if they where involved in wanting to ruin life and my marriage.Not because i could not find out but cost i didn’t want to develop hatred for them cos i will always get to see them and it is not really healthy seeing the faces of people you hate.At that time, i mean before i knew my husband got himself a lover i was paranoid about him having a lover cos our lives changed a lot he starting coming home late he wouldn’t touch me any more and even he started avoiding me in our home making up excuses to stay all day in his study room doing nothing and telling me his need something off to clear his head.We had fights all the time i brought up the matter if he was see someone else.Maybe he got tired of lying i don’t know he finally asked for a divorce.A divorce my family saw him through his university and got him a got job i told myself and now he’s asking me for a divorce cos i don’t a male child yet for him.He was ready to let go of his three beautiful daughters he asked that i take them along.Maybe he was a real f**l and didn’t know what he had and maybe he didn’t deserve someone like me but one thing was crystal clear to me i was still in love with him and i wanted a complete family for my kid that and the fact that i raised him from the gutter i didn’t care about any of his problem when i married him and i forgot to say my father never approved our marriage but still i jumped into it thinking we are going to have each other forever.Though we are still together now but its cos of the spell i had metodo cast on him to make him see how much he needs me in this life.When i contacted metodo he asked that i get the materials for the spell which i did and delivered the materials to him in person that is to say i came in contact with him.I was to return in to his temple in 7 seven day and within those seven day he gave me a blessed a red candle asking that i command and say whatever i wanted every night within those seven days which i did on the seventh day when i returned to metodo temple he gave a harmless powerful substance with instruction on how to use it.This might seem like fiction or lie or what ever you lucky reads may think but deep down you know it true you just looking for a way not to get involved.I ve got my husband back and my family life couldn’t be better thanks to the spell though i don’t have a male child for him at least his them lover bore him one.contact him with his email if you want his help metodoacamufortress @ yahoo. com

    {Reply}
  • Jonathan Arianna:

    Greetings to every body that is reading this testimony.

    Me and my boyfriend were seriousely in love for six years and we were planning to get married but one day he came to my house and told me he was no longer interested in our relationship simply because he was dating another rich lady who promise to buy him a car and to sponsor their wedding. And i suffer heartbreak for seven months and i was not tired of loving him.so i take a bold step by contacting a spell caster who help me bring my ex boyfriend back. he is powerful and great his contact is Adugutempleofsolution@gmail.com you can also contact him for help because i know dr Adugu will help you to solve your problem,My name is Jonathan Arianna

    {Reply}
  • heidi:

    Hello am Heidi So trustworthy spell caster are still online?i never believed until i saw some post about DR.abaka on how he has helped lots of people on the internet.I told him i have had about him on internet and before i told him my problem,He has already told me what i came for and said people had scammed me off my money and added pain to my pain i was so shocked,He just told me that everything will be okay within 48hours,i told him this was what does fake spell caster also told me,He said i should give him a try which i did.Truly am just short of words and over excited for what DR.Oodlia has done for me exactly when the 48hours was completed the call i got was from my lover that left me with pain for over 4year,He said on phone Heidi,Can we talk in a sad and shy tone,i was like yes then he came to my house and apologized to me that he was sorry and proposed to me that same day and asked if i would marry him and i said yes,And our wedding will be on july 20 friends you are coordinately invited am so happy,Thanks to DR.abaka you can contact him on olunkunspelltemple@outlook.com his truly a man you can trust and confide in.

    {Reply}
  • Evelyn Clifton:

    My name is Evelyn Clifton. I have been carefully following comments about spell casters and their love spell for weeks now, and I was able to discover the fake and real spell casters because the fake spell casters I contacted took my money and never gave me result that I wanted, three of them took my money without result until I finally contacted Prince Duro because people talked more about him too.

    Prince Duro surprised me and told me my problems, even things that I was ashamed to tell him, he told me everything and asked me to believe in his work because he has seen that I have suffered from several emotional stress and disappointments which I do not deserve.

    I believed him and let him try too; he then cast the love spell and brought back my boyfriend as he promised. I am happy and very excited because he has finally dealt with the demonic spirits that always causes breakups to most of my relationship. Please don’t let fake love spell casters take your money without doing your work. Contact Prince Duro today with his email: ultimaterelationshipsolution@gmail.com

    {Reply}
    1. Stephanie:

      Shut the f*ck up already!!! My god!!! I’m so sick of you f*cktards blowing up the comments section on every single relationship/break up blog floating around on the internet!!! You guys are pretty fu*king retarded for thinking someone would actually believe this bullshit, but the fact you’re attempting to prey on the weak and vulnerable is pretty fu*king slimy.

      You guys should climb ontop of the eiffel tower, hold hands and sing kumba-ya, then JUMP OFF.

      {Reply}
  • yahoo:

    Thank you for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will
    be waiting for your further post thanks once again.

    my webpage … yahoo

    {Reply}
  • Sara Tekle:

    This is incredible!! I still imagine how Priest Quanda brought my husband back to me in just 24 hours.. No one could have ever made me believe that this testimony that I’m about to write now would actually one day be written by me. because I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like that, but I was told by a trustworthy source (a very close co-worker) that Priest Quanda is a very devoted, talented, and gifted spell caster, and after much cajole she got me to visit this website.It was one of the most excellent thing I have ever done in my whole life. My love life was in total mess after my husband dumped me for another woman. I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn’t face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. So, with nothing but my pride to lose, I checked it out. I was flabbergasted. This man is for REAL. He did whatever magic he does, and lo and behold – no more than 24 hours later, I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage psychotherapy, and we’re doing very, very well right now. and now he has loved me more than ever..Thank you so much Priest Quanda for your Love and for reuniting my family back sir. Website: http://priestquandahighmagicspell.webs.com and his Email:priestquandahighmagicspell@outlook.com. Sara Tekle..

    {Reply}
  • Anita:

    Hello I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how i got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month,But when i meet a friend that introduce me to Dr Akhere the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Dr Akhere about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Dr Akhere at the following email address: DrAkerespiritualtemple@gmail.comand get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: DrAkerespiritualtemple@gmail . and get your problems solve like me..

    {Reply}

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