Shecky’s

Until recently, I had never had a Valentine. Most of my flings happened during spring, summer or fall. I didn’t mind—hating on V-Day with the girls was just as fun.

Then, a few years ago, I finally met a guy in January and he stuck around for the crucial days leading up to February 14. But instead of making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, my date literally left me with nightmares.

When I woke up that morning I had a text waiting from him that said “HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!” I thought, wow, this dude is really into it. We talked on the phone and decided that he would come to my on-campus college house and we’d go from there.

I was beyond excited all day for my first Valentine’s Day date. After my last meeting that evening at school, I literally ran home from campus with that stomach-flippy feeling. I showered, did my hair, put on makeup and picked out a cute not-trying-too-hard outfit.

He showed up (that’s a start) and was holding something in his hand. Chocolates? A card? Concert tickets?

I wish. He was actually holding a DVD. His only plan for the big night was to watch Saw II from my living room couch.

I would’ve been grateful for takeout and a movie we picked out—together! But watching a gruesome horror flick is not my idea of relaxation. I spent most of the movie averting my eyes from the gory scenes so I wouldn’t suddenly barf all over him. And the rest of the time I sipped on a beer I had in the fridge so I could stand the psycho babble of Jigsaw.

On the surface, this was a really bad date that happened to be on the one day of the year that guys are expected to go all-out. But really, this night showed that this guy was too immature to be in a relationship with me. Hello! He picked an activity that involved no conversation. He didn’t even bother to ask if I was hungry. (And yes, I was starving after a day of back-to-back classes and extracurriculars.) My date didn’t want to get to know me at all. And I could barely sleep that night while images of severed limbs floated through my mind.

What happened to horror movie man? Around Mardi Gras I had enough of our texting-only relationship and his clueless behavior. I stopped returning his calls because I didn’t think I owed him an explanation. WHO sweeps a girl off her feet on Valentine’s Day with bloody corpses? I haven’t had a Valentine since and I am completely fine with waiting for the right one!

-Tricia Carr

GIRL TALK TIME: Have you ever hyped up a big V-Day date and been totally disappointed? Do you think back to past Valentine’s Days and shiver? (You watched a horror movie, didn’t you?!) Share your worst Failentine, ever!