How to Deal With Working-Mom Guilt
I’ve been working since my son was born; I’m also the primary earner in my marriage.
My son, now five, is thriving. I’m not.
I still filter everything through the lens of my shortcomings, the tally of meals missed and other failures. But he does not. He’s a happy, independent little guy.
Last month, my son was on a class trip at Carnegie Hall. It happened that I had a TV shoot a few blocks away. When I was free, I raced over. He was thrilled to see me. But after I hugged him and chatted with him a bit, he wanted to get back to his friends. “Bye, Mama,” my son said cheerfully.
He does miss me—but that doesn’t mean he feels he’s missing something. Then why do I? I try to assume the stance of many executive men—men who seem to enjoy a guilt-free pass when it comes to their kids. The guys I know don’t appear to suffer from the belief that if they were around more their kids would be healthier, happier, eat fewer pesticides and eventually attend superior colleges.
But I’ll never have that guilt-free pass—and maybe I don’t want it. My yearning to be a better mom reminds me to be more involved and engaged when I’m with him. And when I’m not, I’m doing a damn good job at what I do. That may not spell inner peace. But it’s close enough.
Come clean. How do you handle working-mom guilt?
Photo credit: DailyWorth.com
-MP Dunleavey for DailyWorth
GIRL TALK TIME: What do you think of this post? Are you a working mom? Do you ever feel guilty? What do you think of working when you have kids?
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10 Comments
Post a CommentMy son understands that I work to help pay for the things we have, and fun things we do. I try to make special time for him, like playing his favorite game. Its a great time to catch up on the day.
I SPEND A LOT OS TIME WITH MY CHILDREN IN THE EVENING ESPECIALLY SINCE I WORK AT NIGHT!!!
I have work full time, gone to school and taking care of 3 children with a husband and it was hard.
interesting..
Its very hard!
It is hard. My son is 20 months old and cries every day that I leave for work. He will also wait sadly by the door if I get home late from the gym and work
I just tell myself I’m working for him, for the family. I’m not out partying, at happy hour or shopping. I’m extremely lucky to have my MIL who lives with us. Yes we get along only butting heads occasionally. She takes care of me, my husband, our son, cleans the house, does laundry, cooks, fixes our bed, does the marketing, goes and putters about in the yard and also takes care of the family dog. We couldn’t function without her. I’m also lucky that my husband and I work together, have the same schedule and carpool. Bonus: we get home at the same time to be with our son. It’s still not easy even with help…if I get home and he’s asleep for the night, the guilt is merciless, I tell myself I should start exercising in the morning vs. the evening, I need to just come straight home, leave work earlier, etc., etc. My son is a happy, curious, independent toddler. He clings to me lots when I’m first home but then he relaxes and lets go. The weekends I try not to leave him at all. I don’t want to, it’s my uninterrupted time with my son 
someday
its gota be so hard!
I have three ,My youngest is 22 years old (girl), the middle child is 24 (girl) and the oldest will be 28 years old (boy) in February. They all have moved on and doing very well. I still spend quality Time with them all. We get together about two to three days out the month to catch up. We will buy tickets to go out on events or out to eat and we enjoy each other very much. My two daughter always accompany me at Shecky’s and we always have a blast at Shecky’s.
wow this is deep