Shecky’s

To call me a relationship person would be an understatement.

Until recently, I’d never gone more than a month or two without a boyfriend since I was 15. I started dating my high school sweetheart as a mere freshman, and when that ended four years later, I almost immediately got involved with someone at college.

So it should come as no surprise to you that once we broke up (three years later), I found myself starting something new with yet another guy. He was completely different from my previous boyfriends—a comedian who studied things like political science and philosophy—so I was really optimistic about our relationship. “This is it,” I remember thinking. “Third times a charm!”

And then he dumped me.

I admit now that it was foolish of me to have such big expectations (who finds “the one” at 22, anyway?) but I was crushed all the same. I didn’t know what went wrong, or why it was so hard for me to find the right guy.

In a fit of post-break up hysterics, I vowed to stay single for at least six months. I was through with relationships, their drama and having my heart broken. So I marked it on my calendar. Each month, on the 19th, a little heart would tell me how many months I had been without a boyfriend.

Now, on my six-month anniversary of being single, I can honestly say it was the best decision I ever made.

I no longer feel like I need someone. I can go anywhere, at any time, all by myself—and not. even. care. I’ve discovered things that I like to do—writing, crafts, going to concerts, Zumba—and found out what things I only thought I liked when I was in a relationship (YES!! I no longer have to pretend to like sports!). I’ve even reconnected with old friends and realized how dumb it was ditch my girls for my guy.

Even though my six months are up, and even though I still love relationships, I feel no need to rush into anything. I’m taking my time, and waiting until I find the perfect guy who deserves me—not just someone I think will be a good fit. I’ve learned that while not having a boyfriend may be depressing at times (cough the holiday season cough cough), the most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.

Like the great Carrie B. from Sex and the City once said: “Later that day, I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

-Samantha Sutton

GIRL TALK TIME: Are you a serial dater/have you been one? Why do you think it’s important to take time out and be single after a break-up?