10 Things You Really Shouldn’t Do at a Sports Event

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With the World Series getting closer, football season in full swing and hockey just starting up, October is a big month for sports-spectating. But just ’cause you’ve got a jersey, a ticket, and a fresh 50 to pay for all that food and drink, doesn’t mean you’re well prepared. Below, 10 things not to do at a sporting event.

1. Get overly wasted. Yes, it’s time to eat, drink and be merry, but I have an inkling as to why those beers are 10 bucks a piece. No, no, not to pay for that schmaltzy stadium. It’s so you remember the important stuff (like the Yankees actually getting booted from the playoffs).

2. Be a sloptart with your food. Building on point #1, the ditty may go “buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks,” but this old-time song needs a serious update. Nachos, sauerkraut-laden ‘dogs and popcorn seem a little messy and barf-worthy after all that warm beer. And, you wouldn’t want to spill ketchup on the pristine white numbers of your official Manning jersey, would you? Chow down but keep it proper, my pretties.

3. Wear high heels. Guys, I’m guilty of this (hanging my head in shame). But after onetrip up the concrete bleachers at MSG (plus a few 10-dollar beers in my system) and some odd looks, I learned. It’s uncomfortable and you look prissy.

4. Yell obscenities. Ladies, ladies. I have heard one too many gals at sporting events who sound like truck drivers. What if it’s a five-year-old fan’s first day at the game and she goes home spewing out “Tony Homo” insults? Be aware of your surroundings and keep it PG.

5. Stand up. Unless half the stadium is doing it, or you’re involved in a wave, SIDDOWN. How would you like it if the beefcake in front of you were blocking your view of home plate?

6. Make out with someone in the stands. Even if that goal made you feel amorous, keep the hockey on the ice. Not in your mouth!

7. Over Tweet/Facebook/photograph or otherwise document. A status update ‘cause you’re stoked is fine. A real-time gallery of 20 pics is not.

8. Propose to someone. Or accept the proposal in question. Can I talk about how much I hate people who do this? See more here>>

9. Give a play by play. You are AT the game. Contrary to any fantasy you have, you’re not on Sportscenter.

10. Attempt to look sexy. Who cares how you look? If you match your SPARKLY makeup to your jersey, I judge you.

-Cait Rohan

GIRL TALK TIME: Are you going to any sporting events this season? Which ones? What do you think of these tips? What annoys you at sporting events?

11 Comments

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  • Jason:

    We may like seeing girls in spike heels but not at sporting events, BBQs, etc. The women look desperate and drive us nuts, and not in a good way.

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    jenny-o:

    too funny!

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  • rubherducky:

    Ha the crowds at these things are horrible. You wouldn’t catch me there

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  • kris81:

    Great list!

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  • avatar
    TJ247:

    Girls in heels at sporting events makes me want to trip them (sorry, is that bad?). You look silly and very high maintenance. Also, the sloppy eating is pretty much inevitable. And having seen the way some of the men eat at sporting events, unless you’re eating like a one-year-old, a little ketchup on your shirt isn’t going to earn you any disgusted stares.

    And I think I have to disagree on the proposal, IF it’s done right. I’ve seen two that I thought were really great. One was with a solider and a surprise homecoming (and proposal) between innings at a baseball game. With the other one, the guy had his girlfriend’s seat number called out like she’d won a contest and when she got on the ice (it was a hockey game obviously), he proposed. As a huge sports fan, I would not be opposed to something like this but it has to be done well.

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  • lumeih:

    I don’t go to many sporting events, but maybe in the near future. I have common sense, but these are still good to know.

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  • victoria:

    High heels? What the …..! Never.

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  • Crispy:

    LOL so true. I always hate when girls wear heels to games. Really? I also hate when people stand up.. for long periods of time of course.

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  • penelope:

    jaja love these!

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  • Joy:

    Funny – yes we are going to the Raider game

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  • cdegraeve:

    All great tips! Watch out for number 7!

    {Reply}

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