“I Slept with my Guy Friend. Could it Work Out?”
QUESTION:
“I have this friend (not close best friend, but friend) that I ended up sleeping with.
BUT, I really like him. Maybe more so than he likes me.
Do I still have a shot with him? Or did I ruin it forever?”
ANSWERS:
Mr. Loves Boys Too SEE BIO NOW>
So, you gave the milk away for free and now you’re trying to sell the cow…. Are things over in Farmville or is there a chance that you and this guy can ride off into the sunset together, or at least date for a little while to see if it would work out?
A few options: 1) Just ask! You can say, “I had a really fun time having ‘fun’ with you the other night. Want to go on a date?” The answer will be either yes or no. 2) Don’t say anything. Then, either he’ll ask you if you want to go for another roll in the hay or he won’t. With this approach, you risk him never asking (because he’s not sure what you want either or he doesn’t want anything more) and you’ll never know why. 3) Do something corny that will catch him off guard, like sending him flowers with a note that says, “Good for one dinner with me.” But, this could seem stalkerish and weird, so use this option with caution.
So, I think you have a shot…if he is interested in cultivating a relationship. Who knew there were so many farming references for dating? Good luck!
Mr. Loverboy Rocker SEE BIO NOW>
Well, how was the sex!? Seriously though, I don’t think you ruined anything. Sometimes being friends initially is the best way for a future sexual relationship to last. We all want our partner to be there not only romantically, but also as a friend.
I have friends who I have slept with who have remained friends, and, on the other hand, I’ve had relationships that didn’t work because there was nothing there other than the sex. I think you’re in a good spot, and if it requires being patient and growing the friendship, then you still have a good thing going. It happened once, so why wouldn’t it happen again?
Mr. Noncommittal SEE BIO NOW>
This is a tough one…the balance in a relationship always seems to be off when it starts as just friends or a one-night stand. I’ve been down this road way too many times and, unfortunately, it usually doesn’t work.
It’s normal for a guy to want to get naked with a girl who is a friend. We are guys. Most of us spend more time picking out a tie than choosing who we’re willing to jump into bed with. I suggest you let it cool off, and see if he continues to chase you. If so, then talk to him and see if he is really into it. If not, then just chalk it up to a fun night in the sack and keep him as a friend.
Mr. Young and in Love SEE BIO NOW>
It’s a well-documented fact that 1 in 5 relationships start on Match.com, 1 in 4 relationships start through being set up, 1 in 3 start from a random meeting at a bar…and every other relationship in the world starts EXACTLY LIKE THIS.
If you are friends who’ve slept together, then he clearly has more-than-friendly feelings for you. Man up, give him a call and go get dinner with him!
GIRL TALK TIME: What do you think? Has something similar ever happened to you? What advice would you give her? What do you think of what our guys said?
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15 Comments
Post a CommentI say, if he was your friend to begin with, you have nothing to lose with telling him how you feel…I also think it’s better to be friends first than having a physical relationship with someone you hardly know!
Oh, clilhs! You have such strength. Thank you for such a real, unedited picture of your life.
Better to let him know how you feel then wait for him to say anything.. He may be waiting for your reaction… Hope it works out for you!!!
Friends first is always better in my opinion. with a stranger you don’t know what you’re getting.
I just don’t know…
My best guy friend and I hooked up… We never saw it happening and I straight out just asked him what he expected from this.. And he was on the same page as me.. He wanted us to be more… We have been together 4 five years now.. And have a little one that’s 2 months old..
I say go for it…!! Worst comes to worst.. U guys had a great time & can still be friends right??
Wait and see is hell. You never know and it can eat at you a little. It becomes this elephant in the room that no one talks about and can really sour a friendship. It is hard to take the step and ask, but in the end it’s less painful.
It worked out for me !! Just be honest, there is no other way to start a relationship !
I did this and lets just say, the friendship was never the same. He said he would would be cool with the situation but, when it came down to it, he became very jealous and overly protective. We are no longer friends and I would advise anyone who is thinking about doing this, DON’T DO IT!!
I say, just be brave and ask. I’d rather be honest that have the “what if” feeling lingering for a long time.
I totally agree. Why spend any more time wondering about what could have been. The longer you leave it, the less likely it will turn out how you want.
tricky tricky tricky
hmm this could be tricky
I think that she should just be open and honest about her feelings. Why does everyone suggest playing games like “wait and see”…that’s only about protecting your own ego. Bottom line is, if you want this to work, then you’re going to have to risk him saying “No”. It will hurt, but it’s not like the hurt will last forever. And, then again, what if he says “Yes”? He just might!
I agree with Susan, just ask, better than over thinking it and worrying about it.