Going through a divorce or called it quits on your marriage a while back? You may think anyone who says there’s a light at the end of the tunnel is a little crazy, but when Post-Divorce Coach Lee Block tells you to have hope, we’d believe her. Why? Not only has Lee been there and survived, she’s launched a thriving business, The Post-Divorce Dating Club, because of her failed marriage. Below, Lee’s advice on divorce, dating when you’re “re-single” and more!
Post-Divorce Coach, CEO and Creator of The Post Divorce Dating Club
Post-Divorce Dating Club
The Post-Divorce idea started as a book. What are the benefits of the blog vs. the book?
There are a few benefits. One is that the blog is free and is available 24/7, so it can help anyone and everyone. You don’t have to go to a bookstore to buy it; you just have to be able to access a computer with internet or your phone these days!
Another benefit is that you can help so many more people because it is searchable. Everyone is online these days, and the exposure is great when you know how to market yourself, so your reach is much larger with a blog than with a book.
Also, instant gratification to read the posts and to write the post. What you write is right there when you hit publish. No waiting for editors or for people to buy the book.
But, most important, is that you never know who will stumble across your site, and when you get that email that says how much you have helped them and how grateful they are for your content, it makes you realize just how important your blog is.
At what point after your divorce did you realize you had the resources to help other people?
One year after my divorce was final; we ended up back in court over issues regarding support and the children. I was far from healed at that point, and that was when I started to seek out help for myself. I couldn’t find what I was looking for, so I worked on me.
And, by the time the judge banged her gavel for the last time, I realized that I had healed. That was a two year stretch of time, so it wasn’t overnight. But, it was at that point that I also realized that I wanted to help others who were going through or had been through what I had been through.
What can a client expect from your coaching sessions?
A client can expect to find their empowerment and to find a path that is right for them. I tell my clients during our first session—this is not about your ex, but about you. I want them to focus on themselves and healing themselves. I help them set goals and hold them accountable while reaching those goals.
Every small milestone is really a big milestone when you are in the healing process. I do a lot of visioning with the clients so they can actually see where they want to be, and then help them reach that place. Coaching is not therapy. I don’t tell you what to do, but I do help you get there. It is a process that the client and I go through together.
How was the Post-Divorce Date Club formed? Have you found that dating other divorcees works better in the long run?
I decided to form the Post-Divorce Dating Club while I was in the shower one day thinking about how hard it is to date after you are divorced. I realized that there wasn’t a place out there for men and women to go that offered emotional support and dating both offline and online in the same place.
So, after lots of research, hard work and many mistakes, we officially launched July 21, 2011, and the club is truly a remarkable place! We get emails all the time thanking us for starting it and telling us how great it is. I don’t know that it is better for divorcees to date other divorcees, but I do know that the comfort level for most divorcees…we like to call them re-singles…is better than when they are dating someone who has never been married and doesn’t have children.
When you are divorced, it makes it much easier to date someone who understands why you can’t go out when your child is sick or why you don’t want someone to come to your house because your children are there. I think there is an ease when dating someone who is like-minded.
Our National Girlfriend Awards are going on throughout the month of August. How important are girlfriends to getting through the post-divorce process?
Girlfriends are vital, especially if they are supportive. But, you have to remember, if they are married, then they can’t spend their entire time holding your hand. I think that after a while even the best girlfriend gets tired of hearing complaints, which is why a coach or therapist is great.
The bottom line is that the only person who can get your through the divorce process is yourself. Girlfriends can lend support, but only you can heal yourself.
GIRL TALK TIME: What do you think of Lee’s advice? Are you divorced or have you ever helped a girlfriend through this situation? What job would you like to see here next?