Lessons Learned from a Break-Up
Our exes (and ex-relationships) are our greatest teachers. They provide us with the most important lessons when it comes to love. It’s up to us to learn these lessons once and for all so we don’t have to repeat them time and time again. We feel break-ups are a time where we not only learn the lessons that are provided to us, but it’s a chance for us to improve and grow into a stronger, more conscious being, too.
Here are five important lessons to take away from your break-up:
When it’s the right relationship, you will never have to wonder
We have all been in those relationships where all we did was overthink, overanalyze and wonder…when is he going to call? When am I going to see him again? Why hasn’t he told me he loved me yet? What does the future hold for us? Sound familiar? All this stinkin’ thinkin’ is just a mind game we torture ourselves with. What we know for sure is—in the right relationship, we won’t ever have to partake in this game.
Some relationships have an expiration date
We want every relationship to lead to happily ever after, but in reality, people and experiences are brought into our lives to teach us something about ourselves. They plant seeds within us that need to grow in order for us to reach and sustain ever-lasting love. Once those seeds are well cultivated, it will be revealed why those people entered our lives and the lesson that they provided.
Listen to your gut
We, as women, have such a strong gut reaction to things that happen to us and around us, but oftentimes we ignore our instincts and motor ahead into the danger zone. Why do we do this? Simply, we don’t trust our gut! In order to trust our gut, we have to make calls that may leave us in a hurtful, heartbroken place. But know that the quicker we nip these gut reactions in the bud, the less painful and more temporary the hurt.
Never lose “the me in we”!
We get so wrapped up in the thought of being in a relationship that many times we neglect and lose our own identity. A true sign of a healthy you (and relationship) is if you allow yourself some “me” time within the “we” time. This is not only extremely healthy for yourself (and the relationship), but your mate will find it incredibly independent and sexy. And if he doesn’t, well then that’s not the person you should choose to be with.
You will get through this—smarter and stronger
When in the valley of a breakUP, we feel we will never return to that happy, normal place again. We can guarantee, you will! You have to go through the hurt, learn the lessons that your past relationship has presented to you, and believe that there is a reason why you’re here. The hurt and sadness will fade and one day soon you will wake up and feel like the fabulous you again!
-Tristan Coopersmith & Janis Gaudelli, Founders of The BreakUP Club
The BreakUP Club is a female-owned and operated organization dedicated to female empowerment and helping women feel, heal and seal the hurt of heartbreak. The organization is headquartered in Los Angeles, CA and offers local workshops, national online workshops, private one-on-one sessions and teleseminars.. For more information visit break-upclub.com.
GIRL TALK TIME: How do you get over a break-up? What lessons have you learned from your past relationships? What do you think of these lessons?
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31 Comments
Post a Commentguys are like children.
never be friends with the person u break up with
Totally worth it to wait to have sex with someone if you dont feel like youre with the right guy
I think it should be added that some things won’t ever change. If you experience the same problems month after month – even after having heart-to-heart talks or going to counseling, etc. – then you have to decide if you’re prepared to live with those problems or if you need to just get out.
So TRUE!!!
I don’t like anything that reminded me of the relationship, while I could go with listening to certain songs, food, or places, any items I throw out…
Never lose “the me in we”…so true!!
hey..i just came from a heartbreak..and yes i always “wonder”…and it gets so frustrating to have inconsistent response from him..i always thought that he was everything that i wanted, but he left me in an instant!..i still miss him and all our wonderful memories and i feel so sad that its over…i just hope that i could get over it in time..
Great points…always go with what you know…your intuition is usually your best guide.
very well written
always gotta listen to your instincts…
lesson learned
good advice!
Very good advice. When I was going through my first break up, I thought my world was going to end. I did find the light at the end of the tunnel though.
This is a great article, and so true!! I dated a guy for about 2 years and thought he was the one I was going to end up with. And when we broke up, I was devastated. But now, a few years later, I’m married (to the best guy ever! not my ex
and couldn’t be happier. I learned from my heart break what true love really was & saw how bad my previous relationship actually had been. Everything happens for a reason, there is always something out there that’s better than what you had!!
Wow what a great article! When it’s the right relationship you won’t have to worry and wonder and everything will just click. In the meantime break ups are usually hard.
Breakups happen for a reason. Because it was not meant to be. And to keep breaking up and making up is not good either. Chances are its not gonna last if you two break up often.
This is so true! I definitely walked out of my last relationship with a better understanding of myself and what I deserve!
These are good lessons that all women should follow when dealing with a break-up.
we all live and learn though our break ups.