Shecky’s

QUESTION:

Sent via our form: Why are guys so obsessed with threesomes?

My man always talks about two-girls, one-guy action and all of my girlfriends say their significant others do too.

Why?!

ANSWERS:

Mr. Loverboy Rocker SEE BIO NOW>

How could the thought of two gorgeous women selflessly giving themselves to me not be appealing?

This situation is so coveted since it picks at the foundation of how we conceptualize love as existing between two lovers. It is a goal that seems impossible to achieve for those of us who are not porn stars. The problem is, for a threesome to work for “normal” people, no jealousy can get in the way.

I’ve had three close calls, but none worked in my favor. First of all, the conversation only really came up when I was with a girl I was comfortable enough to talk to about threesomes. One girl insisted the other girl had to be way hotter than her to be interested, and that was impossible. Another liked the idea but I caught her sleeping with another man the next day, so I wrote her off my list. But the third was the most promising.

I visited my former girlfriend in England, and her best friend from Australia came to visit. My girlfriend and I talked about having a threesome, and her friend was the perfect fit. My girlfriend was comfortable enough to consider having a sexual encounter with her friend, plus, she would be heading back to Australia soon and would not pose a threat to our relationship. After a few drinks, we all talked about it openly and decided to give it a try. A drink later, my girlfriend started telling me she actually wasn’t comfortable with it.

So, if the situation arises, why not? But it’s not worth forcing the issue. Men have to be sensitive to the feelings of their ladies, and often jealousy comes into play. If the opportunity came up, count me in, but if the issue has to be forced, I can live without.

Mr. Young and in Love SEE BIO NOW>

Ahhh, the tricycle, the supposed holy grail of hook-ups. First up, I should preface this by saying that I’ve never had a menage before. My girlfriend and I did talk about it once (not in a “let’s discuss whether we want to have a threesome” sort of way, just in a “we’re talking about it in the same way we talk about our mutual love of Alan Rickman”), and the more we talked about it, the more I realized that it wouldn’t be a good idea for us.

I’d feel SO weird doing things that I only do for/to her to another girl, right in front of her. I think that even if she was on board at first, it’d end up being like joining a gym or growing a soul patch—something that may have seemed like a good idea, but something you’d end up regretting.

That said, to each their own, and there might be couples who enjoy it. But I think that in most cases, a lot of guys like the idea of threesomes because they see it as a kind of “cheating loophole”—a way for them to have sex with another girl while technically doing nothing wrong, under the guise of “spicing things up” or “letting you explore your sexuality.” But for most men, I’d say it’s a little like the Seinfeld orgy episode (“I’m not an orgy guy! I’d have to grow a moustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and thick carpeting and weirdo lighting!”); threesomes are something we talk about as the ultimate fantasy, but for most of us, we’re probably quite comfortable with it staying as just that—a fantasy!

Mr. Loves Boys Too SEE BIO NOW>

Three reasons: they are really fun; two is definitely better than one; two is company, three’s a party. Things that come in threes: little pigs, French hens, you in a threesome. Three things to try before you die (only one of which you can likely afford): 1993 Chateauneuf du Pape Pere Anselme La Fiole, a shuttle ride to the moon, a threesome!

I guess the real answer to your question is that it is just like any other sexual fantasy—you dream about what you do not have. As you can guess, I highly recommend trying a threesome. It is one of the few times in my life where the reality has been better than the fantasy. Of course, you have to trust your partner and then go find that additional person—which is infinitely easier as a gay couple in Chelsea than as a straight couple anywhere else in the world, I would imagine.

Not into it? Then, distract him by adding some other spice to your sex life. Keep it hot and he won’t have time to fantasize about much more than what you did last night.

Mr. Noncommittal SEE BIO NOW>

Why? Because we’re human. It’s that simple. The idea of being with two girls at the same time is just too good to pass up. Find a guy who doesn’t want this and he’s either gay or a monk. Do remember that this is only the fantasy, although every guy wants this, it’s not as common as they would lead you to believe. This is a true once-in-a-lifetime thing.

Fortunately, I’ve had this experience and while it’s great for the ego, the pseudo-porn reality of it never lives up to the fantasy. One important note is that you never want to do this with someone you are in love with…it would get way too weird. Two random girls, late night in a bar…that’s okay. But unless you’re Tommy Lee, don’t expect this to become a lifestyle. It’s just not reality.

GIRL TALK TIME: What do you think? Have you ever tried anything like this? Would you ever? Why or why not? Why do you think guys are so obsessed?

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