Do You Let Your Guy Go to Strip Clubs?

It’s the question every girl has an opinion on: Would you ever let your guy go to a strip club? I know many women who consider this a deal-breaker, some who think it’s a guy thing and look the other way, and others who have certain specifications. While watching scantily-clad women dance around a stage isn’t something I really want my boyfriend doing, I’ll deal with it. My rule is I’m fine with you going—but no touching and no lapdances. And be respectful!

…Why would I even allow my guy to go a strip club in the first place? I’m realistic. Maybe it’s a part of a bachelor party or some other bro-bonding, but dudes go to strip clubs. It’s what they do. (C’mon ladies—why is it funny when you get a sexy fireman at a bachelorette but it’s not okay for guys to watch strippers? Double standard alert!). It’s not cheating—he’s not in love with the strippers or anything, is he? And he’s certainly not having sex with them (um, let’s hope). It’s a form of entertainment that, sure, involves women dancing around nude or half-nude, but it’s just that: something to watch.

I’ve been to strip clubs before, and while it’s not my favorite thing on the menu, there’s something about all the sparkly outfits and dramatic makeup that I’ll agree is interesting. Plus, won’t denying your guy too much ultimately make him likely to engage in bad behaviors? I have my rules, but I don’t tighten my leash to a choke-hold.

However, I draw the line at lapdances. Sure, I’ve been assured that there is “no touching,” but I really doubt that. What if your hand were to, er, slip and just brush against a body part? I’m sure you wouldn’t get slapped and kicked out for doing that. My boyfriend getting a lapdance is something that I couldn’t deal with (even though I know guys in relationships who’ve gotten them…eek).

I know by now you’re thinking that I’m anti-feminist and how dare I be okay with something that so blatantly degrades women. Maybe we haven’t been to the same strip joints, but at the places I’ve been to, the women looked like they were having…fun. And, as we’ve seen with the rise of pole-dancing workouts by Sheila Kelley and the like, this sort of dancing is actually sexually liberating and lets women feel beautiful and comfortable with their bodies. A.k.a. it’s the opposite of degradation. I’ve done a few “stripper” at-home routines, either for exercise or for fun.

So, I say to let boys be boys, within reason, of course. I trust that my current significant other will act appropriately while he is at a strip club. As for strippers themselves? I completely respect the amount of confidence it takes to get on stage and do what you do for a living.

GIRL TALK TIME: What do you think? Do you let your guy go to strip clubs? Why or why not? Have you ever been to one? Do you have any rules around it?

173 Comments

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  • emily:

    If anything go with him. What fun is it if you both can’t have a good time? Now if he went alone then I’d be pissed.

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  • Ann:

    My SO thinks it is perfectly fine if he goes and I don’t think it is nowhere near okay. His buddies have been going a lot lately one even spent 200 bucks on one of the strippers because she looked like his girlfriend. I’m not okay with him going and he hasn’t been to one while we’ve been in a relationship. The whole topic just pisses me off.

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  • avatar
    Sarah:

    It’s totally wierd to think that your significant other is at a strip club and watching other women in scantily dressed clothes dance in front of them, but to be honest, I try to take it as something like porn….just like the article said, as long as there is no touching and there are restrictions like respect for the women and such, it’s tolerated. Besides, if you have that chokehold thing on the guy, then he is definitely going to be underhanded and go with his friends or by himself. It might even become some kind of guilty pleasure, like the forbidden fruit.

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  • erin:

    i don’t want to have to ‘let’ or ‘not let’ a man go to a strip club. i make it a rule to not date men who have that drastically bad taste in what they consider enjoyable activities. i would never, ever go to a strip club (even one that caters to women)…because seriously, what meaningless exploitative crap for truly low people such establishments are. i prefer entertainment to be at least slightly elevated above drooling and ogling like a contained animal in heat, and i’m attracted to men who agree.

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  • star:

    Anyone of you who thinks it is all about trust when it is really about lust are really misinformed and yes you can touch and the girls definitely solicit sweet talk and will meet them outside there.

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  • Karmele:

    If you are truly in love, he wouldn’t want to go to those places.

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  • hmm12:

    What if he doesn’t want you to go to a male strip club, or even go with him?

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  • sbrnmurphy1:

    I have no problem with it at all. As long as the bills are paid, food in the fridge and I’m happy then he should live his life. I have to think what if he told me that I couldn’t go to the outlet because the AF guys are shirtless in front of the store! Sadly, I’ve never bought anything from that store but, the sales men are very nice… LOOKING!!

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  • Nina:

    I live with 3 boys including my b/f and if they go to the strip club (which the b/f could care less about) then I’m definately invited!!! I would even buy my b/f a lapdance..seriously hes not going to leave me for a stripper and if he does ..well good luck to him

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  • susiemark:

    trust is important yes let him go!

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  • lisapuff:

    we trust each other. We do what we want, and this is what makes our relationship the best one yet. So I say yes. If you trust your partner, they shouldn’t need your permission to do anything.

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  • sabrinadarling:

    I’d prefer to go with my SO if he really wanted to go to strip clubs. Most guys I know/meet are really meh about strip clubs, though. They realize it’s a money-drainer.

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  • avatar
    bellamama:

    I don’t really have a direct answer for this question…. Any strip club I’ve seen has been far from classy (which may be the appeal to some guys), however, I just dont see the appeal, period. Anyway, my hubby doesn’t like going to them, he’s gone a few times and it’s just kind of pointless.

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  • lauren55:

    I don’t let my husband go to strip clubs. We are Christian and therefore believe that is not a place we need to be. I feel that once a man is married, he is committed to that woman & should be happy with her. She is all he needs. I don’t want my man getting rubbed on by another woman! He has made a lifetime commitment to me and only me; with no other women involved. He feels the same way, and values our marriage. The issue hasn’t ever come up, since we both agree on the way it should be.

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  • zaresh24:

    It is OK for my significant other to go to a strip club, and i believe he would go more often but he figures I can do a lap dance for him and keep the $ in the house hold…Which I don’t mind at all… ;O)

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  • jatiger83:

    I have let my hubby go to the strip club. I only allow it if I know he is going. I don’t like when he gets lapers but if i’m not there not much I can do about it. He and I have gone together and had a fun time.

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  • townbiz:

    Yes, I am definetly okay with my man going to a strip club because I would go with him. It is actually quite entertaining to go to strip club. I have went a few times with my boyfriend and I had a really good time. And believe it or not it is actually a mixed crowd of both men and women. You might even leave the club that night with a few new moves of your own to try out… Gotta love it!!!

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  • ludkeleigh123:

    Im ok with it I dont think I would want to go and watch him enoy other girls bodies but men are men and they enjoy strips clubs like we enjoy salons and shoping lol and I bealive if you try to hard to keep your man from doing some things that arnt realy that bad like the strip clubs you may find him wondering around to do other things that you would never agree to and cause lots of problems in your relationship

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  • bocciulo:

    Out of respect for my spouse I wouldn’t go to one so no I would not be ok with him going to one. He isn’t the type of guy to go to one either. When he was younger he went to them but as he got older he just doesn’t see the appeal.

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  • avatar
    krista58:

    I am totally ok with the strip club idea as long as theres no touching!! However my man HATES them, he says they are dirty, disgusting, and he doesnt understand “why you would want a girl rubbing on you after she just got done rubbing on 20 other guys!!”

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