I was riding the subway recently, and a creepy guy was staring at my cleavage. Then, I felt him do elevator eyes over my legs, my butt and back up to the boobs. Ew. How is it fair that guys can instantly judge our bodies with all of our, er, womanly parts, but we can see nothing of their important guy ones? Unless I’m getting X-Ray (XXX-Ray?!) vision soon or you’re really happy to see me (umm, ick?), I’m pretty sure I can’t tell the size of your package through those jeans, suit pants, board shorts….
Men can look at us and do a quick assessment. Usually go for girls with big boobs? The well-endowed lady over there is your cup of tea. More of a “butt” man? The bootylicious babe flaunting it will get a call. But how am I supposed to know or even attempt to judge a guy’s size just by eyeballing him? (P.S.: It’s way more discreet to glance at a chest or butt than I imagine it would be to get waist level and stare.) I would love to think that people ask each other out all the time because they are sl-oooowy scoping out one another’s souls, but let’s be serious for a sec—physical attraction, lust, sex and size are just as important as romance and being compatible.
Case in point: One of my friends was dating a guy who was nice, smart, had a great job and treated her well. She really liked him…until they slept together. Why did she break it off? “He had a small one,” she admitted. “I just couldn’t, the sex was bad!” Some might lament the superficiality of her choice, but I always prefer to remain just as happy with a man in bed as I am bonding with him over his quirky obsession with Peter Pan.
The great news for all the small guys out there is…I have met women who do think that good things come in small packages. And I’ve also heard of ladies who lament over it being too big (all those “proud” men, take note!). I know this isn’t one of those “one size fits all” situations, but still, you can’t pick ‘em before you sleep with them (unless you met your guy at a male strip club, and in that case I don’t think size is your biggest issue). So, I’ve stumbled upon a gal’s greatest gamble in life: THE SIZE. Short of making peepholes in men’s pant crotches a fad (um, awkward), I suppose we will have to live with this strange inequality that is still going on.
GIRL TALK TIME: Do you think she’s being too superficial? Have you ever judged a guy on size? Does it matter to you or do you usually make the most of whatever, er, surprise package life hands you? Is it unfair that guys can see some of our goodies before we can glance at theirs? Do you wish you could judge beforehand? Have you ever dumped a guy because of his size? We won’t tell. Men can’t be members (where’s your head at…?) on this site.