Unless you had a completely mature and amicable break-up (I’m convinced that people who say this happens are lying), it always hurts to see your ex’s new girlfriend. Especially if you’re single. And if his new chick is completely unfortunate in the looks department.
Hold on—shouldn’t I be more upset if I found out my ex was dating a supermodel? I’m not sure; all I can relay is the complete shock I felt a few years ago, after a very ugly split, when I logged onto Facebook (obviously I’d de-friended my ex but was logging on through a friend’s account to peruse his profile!), only to see that my douche-y ex had picked up another broad and the best way to describe her was (I’m sorry, but)…troll. Years of having to make quick, precise judgments as an editor may have made me more of a critic than your normal person, but after asking the opinion of various males and females, it was confirmed that she was plain, at best. As one of my blunter guy friends put it: “serious downgrade.”
To add insult to injury, the ex in question and I had only been broken up for a mere three months when he’d started dating her…and this was after a four-year, on-again/off-again relationship. Mind you that this was the same boyfriend who hadn’t been able to travel 20 minutes by car to see me, yet here he was flying hours to see her (I stalked his status, duh).
I felt my self-confidence plummet—I’m no beauty queen, but I think I look okay most days. And wasn’t this the same guy who’d told me multiple times that I’d “get fat” if I ate late-night pizza (um, no wonder we broke up)? Who’d said I should wear my hair straight because it “looked better”? A.k.a., wasn’t he shallow? All the other girls he’d dated were pretty.
And before you call me out for being shallow, let’s not lie—as much as personality is important, you have to be physically attracted to someone in order to date them. So, what was he doing with her?! Surface assessments aside, she was probably a very nice person and had a lot of inner redeeming qualities. But here’s the clincher: she stole my name. Granted, she was “Kate” not “Cait,” but…WTF was up with his odd replacement choice?
My main issue here was: Why did he get a girlfriend so quickly and why her? All I can think of is Bruce Springsteen’s line, “You ain’t a beauty, but hey, you’re all right. Oh, and that’s all right with me,” and chalk it up to loneliness. Needless to say, they broke up only a few months in, after which he tried to “talk” to me about it (hmm, denied!). Have you ever had a guy make a seriously strange choice for his next significant other after dating you? Or do most of your exes stay within a “type”? What did I do to this dude?
GIRL TALK TIME: Has this ever happened to you? What do you think of any of the girls that your ex dated after you? What do you think of our Staffer’s situation? Share now!