It was cute in high school when the guy you liked finally asked you to be his girlfriend, but now that we are “adults,” does one person have to ask the other to be exclusive for you to be in a monogamous relationship?
What I’m referring to is the dreaded talk, something that has become so convoluted since the olden days of wearing his ring or going steady. “What are we?” “Where is this going?” “Are we exclusive?”…are the questions that no girl wants to ask for fear of seeming too desperate or needy, and the inquiries that no guy wants to hear. But at some point, your status must be established before the relationship morphs into that shady sort where one person thinks it’s one thing and the other thinks it’s something totally different. (Ex: Girl: We’re exclusive! Guy: We never talked about it, so let me date around!)
Another point of contention is: At what point in your relationship are you supposed to solidify your definition? How soon is too soon to start discussing whether or not you want to be in a committed relationship?
I’m fretting over this because I’m currently in an undefined twosome. My situation is this: I’ve been seeing this guy for about three months now and we aren’t labeled as anything yet. I’m curious about what we “are,” but I don’t know how to go about bringing it up without seeming awkward or off base.
The thing that really gets to me is that I think we’re exclusive…so will I seem even weirder if I ask? He takes me out on dates, we have a good time together and I don’t think he’s seeing anyone else. I’m not feigning for a title of boyfriend/girlfriend; I’d just like to know what’s going on in his head about us. In this day and age, how do I go about the talk? How do I solidify our status? And why does it seem like so many men, so many couples, go for so such a long time without establishing a status nowadays?
GIRL TALK TIME: Help a sistah out here! What should our Staffer do? Have you ever been in a similar situation? How did you bring it up? Are there any “rules” today for this type of situation? What are they?