My Boyfriend’s Unemployment is Affecting Our Relationship

I’m not gonna lie, when I first met my boyfriend, I liked the fact that he was going to be a lawyer. As a freelance writer with a completely unstable source of income, it was good to know that someone in the relationship wouldn’t be living paycheck to paycheck and could spring for more than Chinese food delivery once in awhile. So even when he graduated without a guaranteed job, I felt strangely comforted, thinking that the tough economy would pass and that he would find something soon. Soon turned into almost a year, and while we’re both somehow staying financially afloat, our relationship is about to sink.

I think the main issue is I’m a problem solver. I need a job, I am on job sites every day, I send my resume to everyone I know, I cold call companies I’m interested in to see if they’re hiring. But when I suggest these tactics to my boyfriend, he gets extremely defensive like I’m trying to run his life and reminds me that our industries are completely different. I know he’s starting to think of me as a nag, but it’s hard for me to watch him be so defeatist and not make every effort to find a full-time job. He assures me that he’s looking, but it seems like he’d rather complain about no good jobs being out there than take a less-than-perfect job in the meantime. I’m trying really hard to be sympathetic and encouraging, but it’s too hard for me not to get involved, especially when I worry that if I don’t help, he’ll just never find anything.

To make matters worse, our sex life is coming to a stand-still. Despite the fact that he isn’t working all day, he always seems too tired to hook up. When I ask him about it, he turns it on me, saying that I’m not as much fun to be around because I’m always lecturing him about work. Once, he admitted to feeling inadequate, but even though I’ve done my best to assure him that I love him no matter what he does for a living, it hasn’t solved the problem. I really want this relationship to work (for richer or for poorer, as they say), but I’m not sure we can handle another year of him not working. Is there any way to help him on the job front without seeming like a nudge? Should I just back off and hope for the best? Is anyone else going through something similar?

-Anonymous Staffer

GIRL TALK TIME: What would you do in this Staffer’s situation? Have you dealt with a similar problem? What happened?

123 Comments

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  • Alan:

    All of these comments disgust me. Nearly every single one of you are both shallow and materialistic. If you want to dig for gold, go to LA or another of Earth’s shitholes and start hunting. If you truly love someone, you support them in times of need. Some people are lazy and entitled, yes, I’m not denying that, but some people are genuinely depressed and on the other hand some people are seeing this control system of the world for what it is, including so-called educational systems, paper fiat money which is no more than a debt-note, and so forth. We need to come together in harmony and support one another when it is necessary. We all live in our own little reality tunnel based on our upbringing, societal conditioning, perceptions, and inner functions. Beyond that, we live in maya, an illusion, merely a place to experience what it is to be a self-conscious 5-sensed creature called a human. If you live your life being controlled by green rectangles of paper which are made out of thin air by the rich, elite royal families without even thinking about it, then their plan of keeping us ignorant and dumbed-down has worked flawlessly.

    Acting selfish and taking high-grounds only shows your true colors, ladies. We need to respect eachother and believe in eachother or we will truly destroy ourselves before any sort of change takes place. It’s people like you posters who are perpetuating societal expectations and judgments based on shit-brained thinking. The people in modern culture act like they are oh-so-perfect while simultaneously judging others and promoting materialism.

    Get with it.

    {Reply}
  • Claire:

    LADIES!!!! Don’t do it. Don’t lose your sanity over a LOSER who won’t work. No matter how much you think you can change a man, you really can’t. Getting married or even having a kid with this scrub isn’t going to fix your relationship or make him want to go out and work. T. Time to leave.

    Feminism aside (lol), a man is suppose to take care of his woman. Men are suppose to have certain roles in a relationship. Sitting at home playing video games while his lady works 2 jobs to support the house isn’t one of them. Been there done that. Will not do it again.

    {Reply}
  • Keep this going please, great job!:

    Keep this going please, great job!

    {Reply}
  • lisa:

    I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years in oct 7, 2014. When I first met him he didn’t have much that should have been my first sign but I am not looking for material things. I want a man that has goals, mature, ambitious, and is willing to work no matter what and believe in handling his part and being a man. I stayed with him because he did have a job and I figure later on he will do better he never had a car. He told me a story about why he didn’t. I said well at least he has a job. He lives a little far for my taste but we connected so well I said what the heck. We had fun we did everything together we were sto close and like soul mates he treated me right and he spent the money he did have on me. I am confused also because now he got fired twice from the same job yes. He told me he didn’t like the job I believe he made it so they fired him. He thought I guess he could get a new job right away not the case. I told him it’s hard out here I don’t like my job.
    I have been working for 18 years on the same job I just realize I will just try and promote. He has been without work now for 6 months and he now has unemployment from the job that fired him. I have done everything I can possible do for him. I have helped with his rent and cell phone bill along with other things. I have a car, I drive all the time. My parents even gave him money wow huh they like him too but my dad knew he was lazy and didn’t thing he would get better he told me to leave him a long time ago because he saw some things in him that was not good like too emotional and immature.

    My dad and brothers are manly men and they work and support their wives and that is what I am use to and grow up with. My boyfriend didn’t grow up with both parents and he grow up in a drug, separation type life father was not there on drugs and mom lazy and siblings not good either. He had to work at age 15 I tell him that is not an excuse and many people have problems as children but they are still successful if anything it makes them stronger.
    Anyway he will not work I have helped him on job leads, information, everything all types of jobs. He has an excused for everything I mean everything. I think he has given up. He is lazy all he does is sleep, play video games, eat, and browse the internet for jobs here and there he don’t have a car. But I tell him to rent a car. He gets mad when I talk about it.
    I don’t know what to do? I have stopped the sex and relationship we don’t see each other at all anymore. His birthday is coming up and I have mixed emotions about spending it with him I am so turned off depress, disgusted, and just hurt. I really loved him and thought we would be together forever and build a life. I am looking to date again but it’s hard out there to find a good man. We talk but I told him we cannot have a true relationship until he pays my parents back the money and gets a job. So I know exactly what you are going through. It hurts my family and friends ask where is he I makes up excuses but it has to be done.
    I say give him a time limited if you don’t he will take advantage of you and never stop he will feel like why he should work for you when you make it easy for him.

    {Reply}
    1. Christina:

      I’m right there with you girl.
      When I met my bf he had things going for him and he told me about his dreams. 8 months later, he’s out of the military now, unemployed, and all he does is wake up at 2 in the afternoon and smoke weed all day. I’m going places in my life. I go to school, I drive, I have two jobs, and I have my own place. He doesn’t go to school, doesn’t drive, doesn’t work, and lives with his mom. WOW. What the fu*k am I doing. I don’t have a man I have a little boy and I am totally embarrassed that I’m even with someone so fu*king lazy.

      {Reply}
  • Alaecia:

    Okay. So I am 20 and my fiancé is 21. We have been together for a year now and he has had around 6 different jobs. When we first got together we were both jobless. But it was okay because we had fun. That’s why I fell in love with him. He could make any situation fun. Then we started getting serious. And we started talking about marriage. And how we could make this work. Well the military was brought up. He had the papers and everything but he backed out saying he wanted to lose more weight before he went. He even has his degree in criminal justice but doesn’t want to be a cop anymore or even use his degree. He has had numerous factory job that he claims has screwed him over. I however was seasonal help at a department store and then before my time was up there had another job. I am now a manager working on average 45 hours a week. Still living with my mom and dad because I can’t afford a place on my own yet. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he really is getting screwed over at his jobs or what. I do know that 2 of them did screw him over. For fact. But the others? I’m trying to be supportive and help him figure out what he wants to do. But there is only so long I can stand this. I have always been the one that says I’m gonna be a housewife. I don’t mind working a full time job with overtime. But I am content with the housewife role. I love to cook clean sew. The whole nine yards. But I don’t want to be a babysitter for a grown man. Any advice??

    {Reply}
  • Vanessa:

    Hey Zach you single! Lol I’m in the same boat! My boyfriend now was really my rebound from a 3 yr relationship because I told him over and over I wasn’t ready for a relationship not to mention he was living at home with his parents! I’m 37 he’s 36 if that says much! He also claimed to do tile work with his buddy which he has done maybe a month spread out in the year we’ve been together! I just can’t seem to shake him because I do like he will clean my house watch my son and always gives out orgazams like candy! Sad I know but I as a lot people get Linley and wanted something to take my mind of my ex. However after reading these post I’m DONE! Thanks everyone even michael though u are a pig and probably FAT yourself i need the brutal honest so thanks for that and go be GAY! ;)

    {Reply}
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  • A.D.:

    J.J. is right. It’s very simple. Leave the losers, deadbeats, jobless, down-on-their -luck men the minute you see the pattern. If it’s a pattern, these men are not wanting to change. They will always find someone to take care of them. Many can be charming and very funny. But just let that go. Trust me, you are not as special to them as you think, and there is always another sucker out there ready “to sacrifice” for love. Barf. They will never repay the favors you have provided them. You will never have the safety-net that a real partnership can and should provide. DO NOT LET THEM BE YOUR CINDER BLOCK AT SEA.

    {Reply}
    1. lisa:

      love this statement i found that out the hard way. soooooo very true

      {Reply}
  • michael:

    To the girls, don’t you see you are the problem i love how it all started once you started dating, just move on to the next guy and do the same thing, we men do a lot better once you go, our biology is designed to get depressed if you stay around too long, we are designed to have sex with as many people as possible, not go silent and smile listening to your balls”‘t all day, you will never understand how it fells like to wanna have sex with every one you see, but cant because you are stuck with the once hot girl that is now FAT, also with kids that may not even be yours ;-) .

    Lol just move on already they will be much happy and more proactive without you, men invented money stop pretending that its all you are ever after.

    {Reply}
    1. Lydia:

      chauvinistic pig

      {Reply}
      1. Alyssa:

        I assume he’s single.
        Also, when he can’t get it up anymore at 60 or 70, who is he going to hang around with? Himself? Other men?

        Thinking about sex is great when you’re 16 or 26, when that’s all that matters, but men who are mature and focused see the point in building a functioning, long term relationship. It’s better for everyone. Provided your mate is complimentary to you, it’s the best situation.

        Biology designed every male of the species to mash junk. Note that humans are doing pretty well by not behaving like animals. There may be something to this methinks..

  • KC:

    I have the same problem. Well, we are just online lovers. My bf is from Europe, I’m from Asia. I love him so much but each day I get devastated as we are almost a year but still we don’t see each other. Problem? He has no income to see me. He needs an income for us to be together and make our relationship real. I get bored and hopeless as I think him getting a job would be our resort. I love him but honestly, job problem is a great hindrance for it. I broke up with him a lot of time, but still there’s that word that says give him a chance. Who knows. But since he graduated, he never get one. While, I always do, just that our salary here is small, just good for or cost of living, if i t is just that big, sure I already flew to him. Same with the above issue, he complains the same. Now, I’m trying to cut it off, but I pity him as he’s the kindest I ever met and I know he’s real even he is very far.

    {Reply}
    1. Nebula:

      OMG same situation with me I am from Asia and boyfriend is from Europe. Never see each other because of monetary problems. He doesn’t have a work but says he loves me and will wait for me. But what if I can’t be there because I don’t have that enough money too to support myself. I encourage him but I think people are what they are. They have their own values, beliefs, perception about things and we didn’t match. I like my man to be ambitious, has direction in life so if ever he’ll meet someone someday, the girl won’t leave him because of the same issue that the future with him is doomed. I still don’t know what to do, I am still thinking because I don’t want to leave him. he’s depressed but I can’t be there 24/7 to nurse him, I am a girlfriend not a mother or a nurse. Guys like that should grow up, be positive though I know life i cruel.

      {Reply}
    2. jj:

      You should first realize that you are an inferior race chink woman and you should be grateful he’s wasting his time with you at all.

      {Reply}
      1. Lydia:

        JJ – chauvinistic and racist pig

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    my name is kelly from canada,I have a huge testimony to share that I broke in 2 parts I hope Mr Hector and Greatest Spells don’t mind, but I have to share this testimony with everyone. Last year, I needed some changes in my life, because I was sick and tired of all the drama and problems that was in my life. I was cursed real badly and I couldn’t hold on to a man nor a job no longer than 3 months and friends parted from me and even my family wouldn’t help me. Went to a few spell casters last year and nothing happened, but 3 months ago I went to dr.duru.his email;godsofsolutions@gmail.com I had Cleansing Custom Ritual Spell, and I noticed good things were happening. I was given some money from a old friend and this guy was nice enough to let me move in the building and he worked out payments for me at my job that I recently got back and people were being nicer to me even some of the rude people that gave me problems in the past. thank you, kelly.

    {Reply}
  • Phoenix:

    I’ve been through this and I found myself back in it. My ex-fiance of 5 yrs didn’t work for the last 2 yrs of our relationship. We lived together and he just didn’t want to work. What happened? I had an internship, he told me it was his turn to”take care of me” and to quit my job he would support me. Shortly after I had a major tragedy in my family life.He left me jobless, in debt from the 7G’s he owed me and stuck me with an apartment I had no way to pay for. Met some rich girl as my friends made clear to state that she was loaded, they started dating only a month or two after our break up and married her within the year. They knew each other while we were together. Now it’s a decade later I’ve been in LTR but always with one foot out the door b/c I picked up more quickly when guys were taking advantage of my kindness. I’ve been through alot in my own life and it’s made my an empathetic person to a fault. I fall in love again and there’s nothing I can do about it. You can’t chose who you love. And guess what this one doesn’t like to work either!! At first he said he was just “going through a rut”. After a year it was like ok, a rut is a rut but you’re just milking this. We’ve been on and off for the past 2 yrs because I feel taken advantage of and I’ve already been through this. I actually called him my ex fiance’s name a few times by accident but it’s brain is like “He’s another George” . This guy lives off his Mom and his grandmother. It’s ridiculous!! He needs to grow up or go to a therapist. And going through this endless struggle to get some reciprocity and equality in the relationship with him I feel like I need one. I’m beginning to believe it’s likely he’s a Narcissist which I’ve been researching online. I found a great website that has been helping me I listed it on my profile here. He doesn’t want to work why should he, he’s always got some woman in his life that’ll pay his way. It sucks I love him so much and I’m willing to debase myself when I know in my heart he’s never going to be the man he said he’d be in this. He’s totally blowing smoke up my bum and he’s gonna ride this free ride it breaks down then he’ll jump into the next one. He’ll suck me dry til there is nothing left and when I’ve needed help…. well what’s he gonna do? Nothing and that’s what he does. There’s no mutual support, I have no family to run to pick me up or help me when I fall. It’s just me and if I let him tear me apart I have no one to blame or pick up the pieces but myself. You can’t chose who you fall in love with but I believe that people like this, who don’t want to fairly contribute are lost causes, at least to the person they are sucking dry. It’s the ‘disney disease’ the beast is not going to turn into a prince with my love and nurturing him back to health. The likelihood he will leave me for another “target” that’ll pay for him when I stop is the most probable reality that I don’t want to face and I’ve known this and have been struggling to move on for all this time. Be careful who you fall in love with.

    {Reply}
    1. Irena:

      Wow that was incredible.. I went through the exact same thing. I lost a few good friends over my ex as they began to see me as a lost cause, almost out of touch with reality for dealing with my ex. The “find a job or go to a therapist” part was so on point. I think my ex was a narcissist as well. I thought psychopathic for a long time, but narcissist fits better more and more. He has known for a long time that there was something wrong, but didnt want to truly face it or thinks that its not him, its the worlds failings, that the “wretched world” is at fault. Insanely and to textbook, his narcissism keeps him from seeking professional help. My love for him was absolutely crippling and I spent 5 years of my life invested in him, waiting for him to become a self sufficient man. We kept in touch over the years, affectionately so, spending hours on the phone… But I think I was just narcissistic supply for him. He ended up getting in a horrific car accident while using drugs, and even half blamed me for not “being around him to keep him out of trouble.” I finally told him that there was obviously nothing I could do for him. Years ago, my mom got him a job which he foolishly tossed away (abandoned his shift). I supported him financially for a year before I was laid off and had to move out of our apartment. His whole family knows theres something wrong.. but no one knows what to do… Its been painful and I still hurt very much about it… But I cant be in an adult relationship with someone who isnt a man.

      {Reply}
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  • Jayme:

    I just don’t know what to do. I have been with my guy for the last 3 years and he has been unemployed for the last two. I am the only one working while he sits at home pretending to watch my daughter. I have asked her what he does when mommy is gone and she says sleeping and playing pool. He also expects me to pay him $75 a week to watch her.

    Our sex life is also a joke. He ridicules me for not wanting to have sex but after working 11 hour days I am tired. My dad wont talk to me and my family wont visit me because they don’t like him.

    I love him but I am tired of the foolishness. I am thinking about taking my daughter and leaving. What should I do?

    {Reply}
    1. Teri:

      Oh my. Looking at your post is almost like looking at my own life. My boyfriend is the exact same. I have tried to lift him and support him in every way but he acts like I owe him something. He has only worked 6 months of the 3 years we have been together. Those 6 months were split between two different jobs. The first one he had was part-time and he even had the nerve to call out and leave early knowing we needed the money. Speaking of money, he thought because his checks were so small he should get to keep what he made and not help me pay any of the bills or for food or for stuff for our kid. He sat at home the first two and a hand years and smoked weed….weed his mama bought him….hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of weed all while I’m killing myself at two jobs to pay the bills. Then he has the nerve to tell me I’m a bad housekeeper. He says he doesn’t want to do it and doesn’t help because no one ever made him when he Wes growing up. He says it’s the woman’s work to keep the house and take care of the kid. He wants to preach about what women’s work is but can’t stand and do man’s work. I don’t believe in men/women’s work…I believe in a relationship its our work, not yours and mine. I believe that you do what needs to be done a team no matter what your genitals look like. To make matters worse…if you can imagine that it could get any worse…he thinks because he lost his last job….a really good job that he no longer has because of his terrible work ethic and thinking everybody owes him something….he thinks that since he stays at home and is depressed because he is home all day with our son that he is entitled to the right to go hang out with his buddies while I stay home by myself. Anytime I mention going out without him…with friends I no longer have because of him…he says he just won’t go out anymore. He makes me so mad. I feel like I am the adult in the relationship and although he is not smoking anymore he still feels like I owe him something. I can do single all by myself…I don’t need a half-a** man around to be a spectator.

      {Reply}
      1. jj:

        He’s a loser.

  • Nasi:

    Hi, I am 39, I have been dating this guy for almost 10 years. When I first met him, he told me that they are running a pub with his cousin (partners) which I have visited on numerous ocasions. Years went past without receiving salary and when I confronted him he claims that the business is not doing well until I was fedup and I went straight to the cousin who confirmed that he was never a partner with him, What a shock, huh! I asked him and said that he pulled out because of all the problems. About two weeks down the line he got a job which lasted for about a year and half and he was fired due to negligence. This is his fourth year at home and really cannot cope at all, I am very irritable everytime he says something. He sleeps until I come back from work and can be very chosey with work. I now scream at him whenever he wants sex because i feel he is just there to be taken care of and to satisfy his needs and that a total turn off. My kids are even asking if he is well. I tried motivating him and showing him opportunities when they occure but “no” that is not for him.

    {Reply}
  • Leigh:

    I am with a man who is 55 years old, has a four uear degree from an Ivy League University and he refuses to get a job…he had some issues with his last job that caused a law suit against him and he is convinced that no one will hire him because of this. I am a 43 year old self employed single mother who WORKS her butt off and I have supported him for the past 6 years. Over the years I have had depression issues and substance abuse issues that I have worked through and I am no longer taking pills to forget but now I have to face the fact that he is using me and I am REALLY ANGRY. He says that he was there for me and now I am not being supportive and he is sick of me getting mad because he won’t do what I tell him to do. I cry and beg him to get help because I know he is depressed, but he won’t…I tell him to find someone else to talk to because no matter what I say to him, he thinks I am attacking him…he still does NOTHING… He starts to cry and says it doesn’t help that I am putting so much pressure on him and that he knows he will end up loosing me and living on the street…how do I even deal with this? I end up crying and things just get worse. I realize I need to leave, but I can’t seem to get up the courage. Anyone have any advice?

    {Reply}
    1. sick n tired:

      Leigh, wanted to see how your situation is doing? Im in the same boat as you. I’m in late 40′s and bf about the same age. He moved hundreds of miles away to live with me and my daughter because he and I have been soulmate/best friends for over 5 years. When I used to live in his home state, we were together every single weekend and talked most every day on the phone. When I moved away, I knew my daughter would want him to remain in our lives, so I thought it was good for her and had him move here. Mistake…..he gets here and has a heart condition that rendered him not being able to work any longer. he now feels he’s “entitled” to assistance (govt) and makes every excuse in the book that he cant work and half applies for jobs though he has been told he can resume back to work. I am tired of this-he just sits all day. I feel bad now because he has no money to leave on if he did. He’d probably say he gave it all up for me and I now I’m not there for him now when he needs me. But this has gone on (him not trying to get back to work) for a long time now. I believe youre supposed to be there for someone when theyve been there for you, but after awhile when is the score evened? Also, my child who has gotten attached….not sure how to handle that. Im tired of not having the extra like I did before to enjoy life.

      {Reply}
  • avatar
    loner26:

    I am 30 now and I have been living in a foreign country for past 2 years for study. i got my graduation in science and found a fully funded doctoral study. But I was alone in a foreign land and I wanted to go home. But, 6 months before, i met a beautiful young, 20y, white man. I thought my life would be nice with him and so I continued my higher study there. There was a bit language barrier. I wanted to rent a room for myself in a shared apartment in the city so he could visit me sometimes or even sleep with me sometimes. But he wanted me full time and he wanted to take a house for us. He was living in his grandmothers house before that. I wasnt so sure because he didnt have work. But soon he found a work as waiter and took loan from the bank and rent an apartment for us. i moved in with him, since his salary would come late, i paid the rent and he paid the caution money with a loan. In house I was the one cooking and cleaning and then I was almost obliged to have sex everyday 3 times even if i didnt want that. He was too possessive and i had to fulfill all his demands. In 20 days i found the house was not livable and i found rat infestation in the house. In same time, he lost work. I was scared and I went away in university temporary housing in few days. Then in one month I found a room for myself. most of the times I was paying and I realized that when I am with him I spend more money than normal. He has to have fancy dinner outside at least 3 days per week while he has no work and his money will finish soon. I stopped going for dinners and so he started to take his friends out for spending money in bars and movies. Also he wanted to live in my room in the shared apartment. I said he should respect my flatmates and he cant sleep here every night. He got offended for that. Then I found out that he didnt even finish high school and he didnt tell me that. He has no motivation to search a work, he just loves to go around drinking and doing nothing and when he finish money, he would ask his parents for pocket money. He doesnt want to study, and he doesnt want to work. I tried to advise him to do somethings, but instead HE told me that I AM NOT SO FREE MINDED LIKE EUROPEANS, IN EUROPE EDUCATION HAS NO VALUE, UNIVERSITY IS USELESS IN EUROPE AND I SHOULD LEARN HOW EUROPE WORKS. i am wordless now.

    {Reply}
    1. jj:

      You should go back to where you came from.

      {Reply}
  • 2Young2dothis:

    Hello, My boyfriend and I are still in the beginning stages of our relationship. We jumped into things pretty quickly, and are living together after only 3 months. He got laid off for taking the day off to spend my birthday with me. Whenever I try to bring up the fact that he needs to find a job, he will either just get all quiet and avoid the subject, or things will just escalate really quickly into a blame-fest. I am 19 years old, he is 22. I had never lived anywhere but my parents house before this. I only work part time, maybe 25-30 hours a week, and I am paying for almost everything. Even his cigarettes. I love him too much to just cut things off, I really want to make things work, but I don’t see him making the effort to try and generate any income for our day to day needs, let alone savings for the future…I feel stuck, and I don’t know what to do. Somebody please help me. I don’t want to give up on him. My mom says that he should be the one taking care of me, not me taking care of him..I know she’s right, but how do I explain that to him? He’s said several times that he feels like a failure, that I deserve better, and that he will “make it happen” and all these things that make me think temporarily that things are going to change, but the next day hes sitting on his ass playing video games again. PLEASE. HELP.

    {Reply}
    1. danielle:

      My boyfriend is doing the same thing..sleeping all day or playing video games. I’ve been supporting him and my two kids and its getting hard and working overtime is just making me so burned out and he gets upset because I don’t want to have sex with him I told him it’s a turnoff when he sits around with no job all day is that rude of me to do?

      {Reply}
      1. Grace:

        Amen girl, i don’t see that as rude at all as thats my attitude towards my bf why should i have sex with you when you want ,after you just sit on your ass doing jack shit Allday Everyday and im doing everything and paying for everything for our two children. haha bloody males aye dreamers some of ,em

      2. ps:

        I am 28 with a man who is 30. We have two children. Living under social housing. I am going to post secondary. Since he lots his job he has been a stay at home dad because we can not pay for our daycare. He was suppose to sign papers last summer to prove we needed subsidized daycare but he didnt. He said he would stay at home for a couple of months. Now it has been 6 months. I am on Finacial assistance for school. I am taking care of the kids, paying the bills, groceries, things for the kids to do, and trying to study at the same time. I am now at the end of my money. He has his employment insurance coming in but wont pay any bills. I am so sick and tired of just being the only one giving a damn about our future. I am fed up with his sitting on the couch all day. He doesnt take our little one out on play dates. I feel it is up to me to do that on the days I have off school. We have our weeks when it is really great and then when I go out to a friends house he gets mad at me. We have no respect for each others friends. We dont talk much and when we do its a little question or the begining of an arguement. One day I woke up and he was so mad at me. I had to tstart the day with him getting mad at me for having male friends that liked my pictures of my kids and I. He sadi they could be perverts. Should I be deleting these males from my fb? We have been together for ten years off and on. He broke my computer he broke my phone he pushes me and he smokes weed. I am picking up some bad habits, just getting mad at him for getting mad at me for no reason at all. I took him out on a 200 dollar date night. He has never once taken me out on a date night. He never gets me gifts for my birthday or christmas, or valentines day. He doesnt like spending time with my family because they do not like him. He has been in jail for assault. And I keep going back to him. What is wrong with me?

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