My Boyfriend’s Unemployment is Affecting Our Relationship

I’m not gonna lie, when I first met my boyfriend, I liked the fact that he was going to be a lawyer. As a freelance writer with a completely unstable source of income, it was good to know that someone in the relationship wouldn’t be living paycheck to paycheck and could spring for more than Chinese food delivery once in awhile. So even when he graduated without a guaranteed job, I felt strangely comforted, thinking that the tough economy would pass and that he would find something soon. Soon turned into almost a year, and while we’re both somehow staying financially afloat, our relationship is about to sink.

I think the main issue is I’m a problem solver. I need a job, I am on job sites every day, I send my resume to everyone I know, I cold call companies I’m interested in to see if they’re hiring. But when I suggest these tactics to my boyfriend, he gets extremely defensive like I’m trying to run his life and reminds me that our industries are completely different. I know he’s starting to think of me as a nag, but it’s hard for me to watch him be so defeatist and not make every effort to find a full-time job. He assures me that he’s looking, but it seems like he’d rather complain about no good jobs being out there than take a less-than-perfect job in the meantime. I’m trying really hard to be sympathetic and encouraging, but it’s too hard for me not to get involved, especially when I worry that if I don’t help, he’ll just never find anything.

To make matters worse, our sex life is coming to a stand-still. Despite the fact that he isn’t working all day, he always seems too tired to hook up. When I ask him about it, he turns it on me, saying that I’m not as much fun to be around because I’m always lecturing him about work. Once, he admitted to feeling inadequate, but even though I’ve done my best to assure him that I love him no matter what he does for a living, it hasn’t solved the problem. I really want this relationship to work (for richer or for poorer, as they say), but I’m not sure we can handle another year of him not working. Is there any way to help him on the job front without seeming like a nudge? Should I just back off and hope for the best? Is anyone else going through something similar?

-Anonymous Staffer

GIRL TALK TIME: What would you do in this Staffer’s situation? Have you dealt with a similar problem? What happened?


Post a Comment
  • Nasi:

    Hi, I am 39, I have been dating this guy for almost 10 years. When I first met him, he told me that they are running a pub with his cousin (partners) which I have visited on numerous ocasions. Years went past without receiving salary and when I confronted him he claims that the business is not doing well until I was fedup and I went straight to the cousin who confirmed that he was never a partner with him, What a shock, huh! I asked him and said that he pulled out because of all the problems. About two weeks down the line he got a job which lasted for about a year and half and he was fired due to negligence. This is his fourth year at home and really cannot cope at all, I am very irritable everytime he says something. He sleeps until I come back from work and can be very chosey with work. I now scream at him whenever he wants sex because i feel he is just there to be taken care of and to satisfy his needs and that a total turn off. My kids are even asking if he is well. I tried motivating him and showing him opportunities when they occure but “no” that is not for him.

  • Leigh:

    I am with a man who is 55 years old, has a four uear degree from an Ivy League University and he refuses to get a job…he had some issues with his last job that caused a law suit against him and he is convinced that no one will hire him because of this. I am a 43 year old self employed single mother who WORKS her butt off and I have supported him for the past 6 years. Over the years I have had depression issues and substance abuse issues that I have worked through and I am no longer taking pills to forget but now I have to face the fact that he is using me and I am REALLY ANGRY. He says that he was there for me and now I am not being supportive and he is sick of me getting mad because he won’t do what I tell him to do. I cry and beg him to get help because I know he is depressed, but he won’t…I tell him to find someone else to talk to because no matter what I say to him, he thinks I am attacking him…he still does NOTHING… He starts to cry and says it doesn’t help that I am putting so much pressure on him and that he knows he will end up loosing me and living on the street…how do I even deal with this? I end up crying and things just get worse. I realize I need to leave, but I can’t seem to get up the courage. Anyone have any advice?

  • avatar

    I am 30 now and I have been living in a foreign country for past 2 years for study. i got my graduation in science and found a fully funded doctoral study. But I was alone in a foreign land and I wanted to go home. But, 6 months before, i met a beautiful young, 20y, white man. I thought my life would be nice with him and so I continued my higher study there. There was a bit language barrier. I wanted to rent a room for myself in a shared apartment in the city so he could visit me sometimes or even sleep with me sometimes. But he wanted me full time and he wanted to take a house for us. He was living in his grandmothers house before that. I wasnt so sure because he didnt have work. But soon he found a work as waiter and took loan from the bank and rent an apartment for us. i moved in with him, since his salary would come late, i paid the rent and he paid the caution money with a loan. In house I was the one cooking and cleaning and then I was almost obliged to have sex everyday 3 times even if i didnt want that. He was too possessive and i had to fulfill all his demands. In 20 days i found the house was not livable and i found rat infestation in the house. In same time, he lost work. I was scared and I went away in university temporary housing in few days. Then in one month I found a room for myself. most of the times I was paying and I realized that when I am with him I spend more money than normal. He has to have fancy dinner outside at least 3 days per week while he has no work and his money will finish soon. I stopped going for dinners and so he started to take his friends out for spending money in bars and movies. Also he wanted to live in my room in the shared apartment. I said he should respect my flatmates and he cant sleep here every night. He got offended for that. Then I found out that he didnt even finish high school and he didnt tell me that. He has no motivation to search a work, he just loves to go around drinking and doing nothing and when he finish money, he would ask his parents for pocket money. He doesnt want to study, and he doesnt want to work. I tried to advise him to do somethings, but instead HE told me that I AM NOT SO FREE MINDED LIKE EUROPEANS, IN EUROPE EDUCATION HAS NO VALUE, UNIVERSITY IS USELESS IN EUROPE AND I SHOULD LEARN HOW EUROPE WORKS. i am wordless now.

  • 2Young2dothis:

    Hello, My boyfriend and I are still in the beginning stages of our relationship. We jumped into things pretty quickly, and are living together after only 3 months. He got laid off for taking the day off to spend my birthday with me. Whenever I try to bring up the fact that he needs to find a job, he will either just get all quiet and avoid the subject, or things will just escalate really quickly into a blame-fest. I am 19 years old, he is 22. I had never lived anywhere but my parents house before this. I only work part time, maybe 25-30 hours a week, and I am paying for almost everything. Even his cigarettes. I love him too much to just cut things off, I really want to make things work, but I don’t see him making the effort to try and generate any income for our day to day needs, let alone savings for the future…I feel stuck, and I don’t know what to do. Somebody please help me. I don’t want to give up on him. My mom says that he should be the one taking care of me, not me taking care of him..I know she’s right, but how do I explain that to him? He’s said several times that he feels like a failure, that I deserve better, and that he will “make it happen” and all these things that make me think temporarily that things are going to change, but the next day hes sitting on his ass playing video games again. PLEASE. HELP.

    1. danielle:

      My boyfriend is doing the same thing..sleeping all day or playing video games. I’ve been supporting him and my two kids and its getting hard and working overtime is just making me so burned out and he gets upset because I don’t want to have sex with him I told him it’s a turnoff when he sits around with no job all day is that rude of me to do?

      1. ps:

        I am 28 with a man who is 30. We have two children. Living under social housing. I am going to post secondary. Since he lots his job he has been a stay at home dad because we can not pay for our daycare. He was suppose to sign papers last summer to prove we needed subsidized daycare but he didnt. He said he would stay at home for a couple of months. Now it has been 6 months. I am on Finacial assistance for school. I am taking care of the kids, paying the bills, groceries, things for the kids to do, and trying to study at the same time. I am now at the end of my money. He has his employment insurance coming in but wont pay any bills. I am so sick and tired of just being the only one giving a damn about our future. I am fed up with his sitting on the couch all day. He doesnt take our little one out on play dates. I feel it is up to me to do that on the days I have off school. We have our weeks when it is really great and then when I go out to a friends house he gets mad at me. We have no respect for each others friends. We dont talk much and when we do its a little question or the begining of an arguement. One day I woke up and he was so mad at me. I had to tstart the day with him getting mad at me for having male friends that liked my pictures of my kids and I. He sadi they could be perverts. Should I be deleting these males from my fb? We have been together for ten years off and on. He broke my computer he broke my phone he pushes me and he smokes weed. I am picking up some bad habits, just getting mad at him for getting mad at me for no reason at all. I took him out on a 200 dollar date night. He has never once taken me out on a date night. He never gets me gifts for my birthday or christmas, or valentines day. He doesnt like spending time with my family because they do not like him. He has been in jail for assault. And I keep going back to him. What is wrong with me?

  • Puzzled lady:

    I am a 24 year old whos got a stable job and make about $13 per hour. i met this guy online who is looking for a job but has a degree and is at the moment broke and stuff. i havent met him yet but will soon and he asked me if i can help be his sugar momma till he finds a job. Would that mean he would be taking advantage of me when we go out or is he just stating that and going to spend money on me even though hes left with minimal money. thanks

  • Tasha:

    I’ve been with my guy for 3 years now. We met in college and started out first as friends. I noticed that once we got together his attitude started to change. He was no longer the fun, free-spirited person. He has trouble finding and keeping a job which is hard to believe till you actually see it. He graduated with a mass communications bachelors degree and did internships at radios stations and even at Nbc. He has been in and out of work canvassing and then later a promoting company who never paid him on time and later just said they ran out of money to pay him. He has been looking with no luck. It’s really starting to take a toll on our relationship. From the beginning it was like this. Me paying for stuff because I knew he never really had it and I still wanted to experience going out on dates with him. But now, 3 years later you’re using my car driving back and fourth to pick up your friends from work so you can smoke weed with them and using my had money and not asking them for any money at all. He is a good guy as far as cooking me breakfast I’m the morning before work, occasionally cleaning, and dropping me and picking me up from the train station for work, sex doesn’t happen often but when we do it’s great. But that’s it. Our communication is off, he never understands what I’m asking or he can’t hear me and he makes this annoyed face with me most of the time and a normal conversation turns into something I don’t even want to indulge in with him anymore. We were planning on getting engaged earlier in the relationship and he put $50 on a ring and never wen back for it and he didn’t want to lease it because he said it would just be another bill and he didn’t want to get into that. I was in school at the time when he asked me with no ring and when expressing to people I was engaged they would look for the ring and I didn’t feel like explaining to everyone why I didn’t have a ring ( because he couldn’t afford one right now) And he says he only asked me to marry him so guys could back off. So I decided that engagement was chalked because he didn’t seem serious. He spent Endless amounts of money on weed, any extra he could find that’s what it went to. He doesn’t have any new clothes, he’s really skinny and doesn’t work out, he’s just really beginning to be unattractive to me. I’m just fed up but what keeps me staying is me hoping things will change. He plans to get into the Air Force but he still owes his school money for his degree so he can’t start training without it he says. I feel like we’re not growing together. Idk what to do.

    1. Dane:

      Stoner.. run for your life.. this will continue into his fifties..

      1. loner:

        you should leave hum. he is spoiled

  • rachael:

    Oh my lanta! im in your exact situation. I work full time AND run a small personal business (it doesnt bring in much, but it supplements my other income!) my boyfriend is a musician (which makes almost NOTHING! Hes very talented, but most of the shows arent even PAID!) Sure.. sometimes they are but one show a week at $100-120 is almost nothing in all seriousness. He USED to work on the side but since weve gotten together he just completely stopped. I dont pay for things for him, but he certainly does everything i do.. (if im going out for drinks, so is he ON my tab) same goes for dinner, lunch, breakfast EVERY DAY. I never thought id be a girl in this situation. Im very much so in love with him.. he isnt lacking motivation (he works 10+ on his music and website daily) but as far as a money making career he maybe spends 5 minutes a day applying for jobs. I dont know what to do anymore..

    1. Red Joe:

      Action speaks louder than words; it’s one thing to get hurt and be laid off and that still brings in money, but your boyfriend is really your son living a fairy-tale that isn’t paying off for him to be the man he ought to be to any woman in life… to even be a man. You’re with a boy, and I doubt you’re a child molester. You can do much better when you leave your feelings for reality; don’t be like him

  • Zach riffe:

    Just ask them if they want a free Mercedes bens and 30 k email me i promise its sales but i promise its worth it

  • Zach riffe:

    If anyone needs a job im a business owner 9726932205

    1. Omo:

      i need a job but i am a foreigner

  • Jessica:

    Hello, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years. When we first started dating he worked with me at our local grocery store. He then wanted to quit because one of his friends had a job held for him. After he quit the friend let him know the job situation wouldn’t work out. He then went on to be unemployed for nine months. He tried jobs here and there but quit them because he said he did not like them or did not get along with someone there. He finally got a job at a hardware store and did that for three months. Then quit because his boss was being unfair. Now I’m still working at that local grocery store part time for a tiny bit over minimum wage. I’m going to college in January but it’s online so that I can still work. My family keeps telling me he needs a job and it know they are right but everytime I mention it he gets so angry. I don’t know what to do.

  • Pathetic Looser:

    My experience may be more sad than any one of you. In 2004, I got the traumatic car accident and part of my short term memory is damage. I could hold on to the job I work before the accident, but the company I worked for closed down in 2011. I found another jobs, but couldn’t hold on the new jobs, reason: I couldn’t remeber the tasks. My lived-in, who is 12 years older than me, also lost his job. He couldn’t land another corporate job, has had many interviews but they all rejected him. Before his unemployement benefit ran out, he promised will look for low key jobs, and will take 2 if necessary to support the family. But all are just talk, and I finally realized he is not the man for his words. He just said whatever that suits for that moment, and not keeping the words. If I suggest him to face the reality that he will not be hired for desk job again, why don’t go look for low paid jobs. He now flatlly told me that he couldn’d do that because he has his pride. Right now, we are living on my low paid caregiving job, and my guy is not doing anything. He took my daughter to school in the morning, then came home and slept till 11:00 every morning, went to gym for 2 hours, then eats, watches Fox for hours, eats again and spent the rest of the day either on Facebook or watching sport channels. My biggest fear is now my memory is getting worst everyday, what if I couldn’t not work any more and I have this guy is holding on to me. The reason he is still here is this what I think, I bought a 1 million dollar life insurance, and he will get 1/3 if I die. Out of desperation, I have talk of death, and one time he told me that I just bulshit and not doing it. From what he said, I really think this guy is still not leaving me not because he loves me, but he is waiting for that day to collect insurance money. I will change the name of the beneficaries and hopefully he will leave.

  • Nay:

    Hi i am 20 my bf is 26. im working as fulltime job getting paid minimum wage. My bf searches for jibs online and had a couple of interviews but still no job..he perfers to get a job in his career..he went to school for medical coding and billing. He had jobs before but they was temps. When i come home from work hes just sitting in the room on his computer. Hes a good guy, he cooks,clean walks me to the bus stop before work he runs my arons while im at work.a good guy but hes not there a way i could tell him to maybe try harder looking for a job or should i just leave him. (Its not like hes completly broke has damn near 4,000 in the bank but dnt wana touch it cuz thats all he have

  • sweetmel:

    I have never post on this before but, its getting too hard for me to deal with……I am about to have a baby and my boyfriend dont have a job…its hard for us, and he always keeps distance….I dont know whats the real issue, but i wish i could learn how to understand….i think it my fault i keep bothering him on when will he spend time with me…its that so bad….how can i just let go for a while and let him come around??

  • Guest:

    I was with a guy who was younger and a lot less educated than me. Previously, I was in a relationship with my first love but things did not pen out as he has Committment issues, so admittedly so, I was in a pretty vulnerable shape when I met him.

    He was sweet, romantic, good looking and whatever my ex was not. So undoubtedly I was smitten. However, the truth was, he was facing serious financial difficulties and he tried to hid the extent of it to me. In the beginning, I was filled with sympathy as I understood that unlike him, I came from a cushy background. So over the course of the relationship, I compromised on my lifestyle, paid for some of his stuff and even lent him money on 4 occasions.

    I am a practical person. Within 4 months I was sick of it. Everytime he called I was worried he will tell me more bad news or that he is facing financial difficulties. Instead of enjoying a budding romance, I was burdened by financials that are not even my own. I just cannot comprehend how he can fail to think far ahead and allow himself to land in such a despair state and becoming a burden to himself N me! To mk matters worse! He took the money I lend him to lend his friend!

    To cut the long story short. I dumped him via text. He said he hates me and saw through me. Like please…. I am not going to be a mother to a kid like him. And now when I think of him, I am REPULSED and DISGUSTED! So ladies, dump those financially immature men. It will be difficult because of emotions but I guarantee you, you will find peace and a huge sense of relieve! Do not let their problems become your problem because you will just be adding unnecessary stress on urself and you will prob feel resentful.

    Ps: he has yet to pay back my money but I try to console myself that at least he can NO longer chalk up any more debts with me! GOOD RIDDANCE!

    Good luck!!

    1. Guest:

      You are his sugar mamma as we now call older women that provide and financially take care of younger men. Your best option is to honestly get rid of this loser and move on with your life. You sound like a well educated person. This creep is a moocher and will never leave you because you constantly mother him and provide for him. If you want to make it still work with him, you need a serious sit down to let him know the gravy train stops here and if he wants to be in a relationship wot you, and live with you, he needs to obtain a “real” job and pay for half of the bills you both accumulate. There is a difference from someone not being able to find a job to someone choosing to not have a job.

    2. Gussy:

      Girl, I have the same problem and think today is the day I’m getting out. I met my guy in 3 months he told me nthat he’s in a bad financial problem. I’ve just realized that he has been like this for over a year. He gets really angry and doesn’t want to talk about it but wants help before his house gets can I just up and assume these responsibilities without even knowing who he is. It’s so bad that he screams at me evry day saying I don’t understand. He wants me to move in with him like now.

      I think I’ll run instead.:(

  • Bri:

    Ladies, I need feedback on the issue at hand here; I am a professional female with a post graduate degree, investments and I work toward and plan expectations for myself to better my life. Two and half years ago I became involved and still am with a man who has not pursued any higher education, and despite my many efforts to motivate him and make him feel proud of his abilities and capabilities with different skills, which he is very good at, he only works at best part time and he practically lives in my spacious home. I do not need his financial contributions, but he should offer in my opinion. He does not. I have finally reached the end of my patience because I believe he lacks character and maturity based on his lack of effort for himself and for me as the person who always has carried the financial load because I can. He has worked and is still working on remodeling my home. I buy all the materials needed and have not paid him wages, however, in exchange I have purchased valuable tools because they were needed and with the expectation that he would utilize the opportunity to begin a remodel business. His work has dramatically changed my home. I have even ordered business cards for him twice now, walked him through the stops of obtaining a business license and even did that. Now, he just does not get off his butt. When he does, he doesn’t even make the gesture to say, “Here’s $30 for the cable.” He is very handsome and 10 years younger. I fear he will never have enough ambition for himself to help sustain a household. I do not want to be the one to always carry the financial responsibility. He has a vehicle (although older) because of me on a trade for a truly beautiful remodel of my offices. I just can’t seem to understand if he will ever change.

  • Sara:

    I’m in my middle 50′s. Never married, no children. I met my bf 7 years ago, he had a $40,000 a year job. His job ended in the first year. He has been a full time student since. He has a AA and AS degree (4 1/2 years), and working on his BA (1year). He still needs 1 1/2 years to get the BA. During this time I’ve worked and support him, lost my home.
    I’ve lived full time with him for 4 years now. I now sleep on the couch in the front room.
    He sleeps in his bedroom on the $4,000 bed. We had sex twice last year, so far nothing in this year. I miss my things, everything is in storge.
    My last job ended in October and unemployment has ended. I have no money. He knows this and lets me know he can’t support me. I never ask for anything.
    His money is his and my money and time is his.
    He is very selfish. Went I was working I bought a pair of shoes, I also had to buy him a pair of shoes. I needed a new bra and we went to a department store, I didn’t find one, but he found a new shirt for me to buy for him. He’ll keep refunds that belong to me.
    Went I worked I would pay for everything, even his toothpaste and chewing gum.
    I have 2 more weeks left of college classes, and still no job lined up. I want to take off.
    Load my car and go. I can’t tell him how unhappy I am, he blows up fast. He talks like we’ll be together for ever. But he doesn’t believe in Marriage and God. I get tried of him talking about no God.
    I know when he does get that high paying job, I’ll still have to fend for myself. I just can’t do it anymore.

    1. Kate:

      Please Sara LEAVE HIM. No he did not make you sleep on the couch while he slept on the bed. Please leave him and live your life.

      1. landa:

        Please leave your worth more than that

    2. Connie:

      That’s awful. If you and your boyfriend have been together 7 years now, and he tells you that he can’t support you, even though you’ve supported him, that is very very selfish of him. Sara, you deserve much better in life and you need a man who really appreciates you. I also am tired of those who say there is no God. God exists, and as long as we keep praying and asking God to help us through the goodness of our heart, life gets better.

  • Kirk:

    A person essentially lend a hand to make seriously articles I might state. That is the first time I frequented your website page and up to now?

  • depressed:

    I never post anything like this online but I cannot keep to myself anymore. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 5 years and we just got engaged a few months ago. This is the story I fell in love and learned that he did weed and was lazy. I did not go to my desired college because he was afraid we would break up so I went to his school and that semester he quit! Talk about a mad B*tch! I told him to straighten himself out or I would leave him. He got his first job at 20 years old and I was his supervisor. Well even though I had a fulltime job during school, he quit that job right before he returned for fall semester. I lived on my own during this time, because I could only afford myself. Flash forward to 2011 I just received my associate degree and moved to a new town to go to a 4 yr college. He had one more semester until he could move with me. I got a job selling stuff and then a fulltime job. He moved in and did not search for a job for 2 months. He “looked” online but mostly played WoW! I was a fulltime employee and student but yet still came home to cook and clean. Whenever we fought he would say that it wasn’t his idea to move there. I hate that game it is like a drug to stupid men. Well once again I became his supervisor because he would not be an aggressive job seeker. I would cook and clean for him while going to school and being a manager and all he was was a part time delivery driver. Well all that overworking and stress caused me to become sick and I got mono which sucks A**! So instead of working fulltime he just picked up one extra day of work and I had to work one less while still being a student and cooking and cleaning. Well my mono got worse and I was out of work for a while, instead of saving money and cooking he would order pizza and soon we were using my financial aid to pay everything with. I decided to move back to our hometown and focus on getting better and school. He went home a week before me and left me to clean up the apartment and move out while I had finals. We move into his parents house “temporarily” I begin registering for school and applying for all sorts of jobs even ones that I would have to quit school for. The entire month of December he would not look for a job because he wanted to enjoy the holidays. He got his first bill for his students loans and I have to use my financial aid to pay for it, and he also bought $70 WoW subscription with my money! I have not been able to obtain a job due to an internship, but I am still applying. It is April and he has only applied to a handful of jobs, only one in person! Every time I talk about him being more aggressive we fight. His mother is the biggest b*tch I ever met and thinks it is my job to be his new mother. I barley have any money left and I am constantly depressed. I suggested that we look for jobs that are not local and maybe even out of state. He says I am a pessimist, and that something good will come. I am realistic I do not think that he will learn until he falls on his ass. I have worked all my life and he has been nothing but a spoiled bastard. We were going to get married next Christmas, I even have a dress but now I that is never going to happen. I do not even know why I stay, I find him repulsive really. Which makes me so guilty, but I have even threatened to join the army and he does not even care. Our sex life is nonexistent, we have sex like once a month but I do not even want to. I just do not understand how parents can raise their sons like this! I have taken care of this man since we started dating because I always had a job. I feel as though I should just leave him, but some days I see why I fell for him. But most days I truly cannot stand to even see or talk to him. I am not afraid of being lonely I am afraid of losing the one I am meant to be with. I know that relationships take work but damn I do not know how much longer I can take.

    1. AngK:

      Easier said than done, isn’t it. Yes, I have the SAME issues with my guy and same thoughts about him being the one, which makes it so difficult. What the hell is with mothers who baby their sons, like they are too afraid to tell them to get off their a**es!! I’ve been with my guy for almost 4 years and the last few months he was doing the same thing, applying to a job here & there online, and playing games most of the time…but finally I told him that he needed to take it seriously and find a job soon or I was going to find my own place, of which i am very serious about doing soon. Low and behold, he’s now become a bit panicked and he’s been actually getting dressed up and going out to look for jobs. I figure it’s worth waiting a little longer, all he needs to do is show me that he’s making a solid effort. Maybe try giving your boyfriend a serious ultimatum and see if it makes a difference, as it sounds like right now he has no desire to change or do anything to resolve the situation. If it doesn’t, then you need to ask yourself if you need to be supporting someone who clearly isn’t making an effort to be mature and responsible for himself. Concentrating on yourself and your career makes a lot more sense than putting yourself more and more into debt.

  • Tracy:

    Hi, it is good to read that I am not the only one with guy problems. I have been with my boyfriend now for 4.5 years. I love him dearly but we have a great amount of stress on our relationship.
    I was working for a long time in and out of jobs but always found something in the next few days. He run his own business which was very good $ at times . I currently live by myself and struggle to pay bills, I owe my parents money which is very hard because they have always been there for me if I was struggling badley, my hours have been cut down and he has closed down his business to work with a boss for a regular income. I have no car and struggle to find full time hours as not car puts massive strain on employment. Not every bus or train goes to we’re u want to go.??? When I was making big bucks I would give him 90% of my pay to fix His bills and I had to because he would fight with me or get all down and depressed but wat about my rent? My bills? Electricity gas water? I have to shove them aside for another week? We always Fight about money I have moved house”s 4 times over 3 years while he still lives with his mum? Has a car? Has a income?
    I feel everyday is a struggle or something happens that jut puts more strain on the relationship?
    Even if I get full time work I fill like the money I earn will have to go to him to fix his bills this is not fair , also his car is in my name and I now have $5,000 in fines .
    Please help I’m going no where and I’m struggling but I do love him?

    1. China:

      Child please leave his broke lazy ass! He has his mom and his home save your money and get out love is not going to pay your bills


    see I can’t understand it at that point that your boyfriend with stop looking for a job maybe you know sometimes when people looking for jobs not we are like watching their back whenever finding a job like my boyfriend miss him I look for jobs sometimes he’ll wait and then go back at it again me I am constantly on my ass looking for a job and it works out I really don’t care about money unless is taking care of my school clothes to keep myself warm and other stuffhe is 21 and I am 19 we aren’t does asses for looking for job. I love him and as long as we do it together or on time by yourself myself it’s fine


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