Shecky’s

April Fools’ Day is tomorrow! While we’re sure you all have some funny memories, either as the joker or as the brunt of a joke, we’re also positive you’ve got a slew of embarrassing and hilarious guy stories up your sleeves. We asked our Staffers what their most embarrassing guy moments were (on April 1 or any day)! Read ours, share yours and VOTE for your favorite at the end.

STAR-CROSSED LUSTER

In my old apartment building there was a beautiful god-like creature that I was in love with. Unfortunately, every time I ran into him, something embarrassing would occur.

We first met in my building’s laundry room. I was sporting hole-y sweats, a messy bun and no makeup. Oh, and I’d just had garlic-laden pizza. So when this really hot man comes over and asks me how to work the laundry, I get sooo awkward and mumble a few things—while not-so-discreetly covering my mouth lest the smelliness come out—and promptly leave. D’oh.

A few weeks later, my friends and I were having a wine party at my apartment. What was supposed to be a calm pregame turned into a rowdy affair with four best girlfriends. We needed to open yet another bottle of wine, but we were too drunk to use the corkscrew properly. I headed down to ask my doorman for help, and ran into Mr. Perfect along the way. One of my friends decided to ask him to do it, despite the fact that he was lugging a computer. Not a laptop; a desktop with plugs and all. He put everything down to help, successfully opened it…and I spilled wine on the floor when I went to take the bottle back from him. Plus, I let him go with a mere thanks because I was so mortified. UGH.

After my friends saw him, we decided that we had to find which apartment this guy lived in. We tracked down some of the names from the third floor (where we had discovered he lived from elevator investigation) and decided one was him since all the other names “didn’t sound like his.” My now (extremely) drunk group of girls decided to run around the third floor yelling his name and his initials (DGB III)! Needless to say, DGB did not make an appearance. Who knows if he heard us, but the next time I saw him he was with another woman. Oh, and did I mention that I drunkenly told my doormen about my crush, so for the rest of my time in that building they would point to random men and go “THIS ONE?” Oops.

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PHONE FLIP-FLOP

To this day, I’m not sure how this happened. I was at a bar with a group of friends including the guy I had a crush on at the time. A friend of mine texted me to see how it was going. I wrote back that we were hanging out and it was going okay, and then continued to party with everyone.

At some point later in the evening, my crush’s roommate came up to me and asked me when I had started liking his friend. He then explained that instead of sending my text to my friend, I had sent it to my crush. Fortunately, in the end it worked out, and the text was the thing that gave my crush the courage to ask me out, so I guess sometimes embarrassing mix-ups pay off!

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FIRST DATE DEBACLE

A guy and I were set up by a mutual friend, and the day of our date when he got in touch to confirm, I told him I’d let him know when I left work. I did so about 10 minutes prior to packing up. By the time I got on the train, I sill hadn’t heard back from him. I felt uneasy but went on my way, expecting to emerge from the subway with a text from him, but there was nada.

At the risk of being annoying, I texted to confirm we were on, but…my phone froze. Yes, it’s a smart phone, but the amount of time it takes my phone to reboot when it spazzes out is stone age-style. I proceeded to our destination, essentially phone-less as it was still restarting, and ultimately ended up waiting in the lobby with about 20 other people presumably being stood up.

When my phone finally turned on (circa 20 minutes later), I texted him again. He responded that he had just received a few of my texts all at once, but since he hadn’t heard from me for a while, he thought I had stood him up and left! After that whole episode, we were finally able to sit down to dinner.

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THE FART HEARD AROUND THE HOUSE

My boyfriend is totally grossed out by anything related to the bathroom, etc. and goes so far to say that he “never farts.” I, on the other hand, do, although I never let it out in his presence. But after getting back from a long car ride, I really had to, er, relieve myself. I thought it would be one of those silent types, but it was SO loud! My boyfriend was in the other room, and I’m sure he must have heard because it was dead silent other than my tremendous toot.

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CONSTANT CONTACT

I pledged a sorority my freshmen year of college, and our initiation party turned somewhat…sloppy, as expected from 40+ girls who hadn’t drank in months. I had been casually hooking up with a guy who lived in my building at the time, and when I returned to my dorm I proceeded to call him…37 times. Yes, you read right, 37 times. This is quite a few years back so I can’t remember the exact confrontation that took place post-excessive phone calls, but it didn’t deter him from still seeing me, nor was it a big deal. Go figure!

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