I Misread This First Date
I’m by no means a pro-dater, but as of late, I’ve definitely put myself out there more than ever before. One guy particularly stands out.
We met, he texted me the next day to say it was nice meeting me, said that he’d like to see me again, and he called two days later to make a date.
We went to a trendy restaurant where he schmoozed with the hostess, chatted casually with the sommelier and ordered for us both. It wasn’t suffocating or showy, but rather seemed confident and dominant.
As an admittedly passive person, I liked his confidence, and left the date beaming. The next day, I thought to text him telling him I’d had a great time, but decided to let him make the first move. Days passed…and nothing. We ended up speaking a little while later, through my own initiation, but I never saw him again, my choice.
Now, I’m able to look back and recognize that maybe my excitement was just that: excitement instead of real feelings. He was older, he was experienced, and I was impressed more than anything else. Even still, it hurts to walk away feeling like you might have made a connection, and then finding out you were wrong.
I don’t really understand how one person could leave a date raving about it and the other person not feeling even close to the same, just like if you leave a job interview supremely confident, chances are the employer was impressed, too. While I think people can definitely be delusional and misread signals, when it reaches a level where one party has nothing but positive things to say, it’s confusing and hurtful to get the opposite in return.
Of course, with time things become clearer, and I was able to realize my feelings of a connection were more about me being wooed. I’m sure that looking back on past dates, girls (and guys alike) are able to realize maybe they were so starstruck by the exhilaration of a first meet-up that maybe it didn’t go as well as they initially thought. Come to think of it, his eyes gazed away for a minute too long when I was telling him about my dog…and anyone who doesn’t like my dog definitely isn’t the one for me.
-Anonymous Staffer
GIRL TALK TIME: Have you been on any memorable first dates? Have you ever misread a first date? What happened?
Cart
11 Comments
Post a CommentI went on a date, thought the guy was oh so perfect…turned out he was not into women….
first dates can be really awkward unless you are both willing to put expectations and old fashioned protocol away (if you wanted to text him, you should have instead of playing games to see if he’d make the first move AGAIN).
Great Article love it
Happened to me, as well. But all the dates felt like that and after dating two months he told me his feelings had changed.
I’m a little indecisive and he took some of the decision out of my hands which was nice. I dunno, maybe I need an elementary course too lol.
first dates are difficult,but can be your one true love, married now 26 years
First dates are hard and can be awkward.. I don’t think I’ve ever had anything too bad though.
It is so hard to tell if someone is really having as much fun as you are on a date or is he just being polite. This is so not out of the ordinary that dates like this will happen and honestly it stinks, but all you can do is move on. I like the attitude that if he didn’t like your dog he wasn’ t for you anyways.
I think you liked him and in your mind you invisioned him liking you. He was probably just being polite and nice which is what a good person does.
nice article im showing this to my sister
Oh my goodness I had the exact same experience in December 2010. After that experience it left me feeling like I needed to take to take an elementary course in dating.
I agree with, nerves and fears can lead to not having a good time and reading signals wrong.