I’m by no means a pro-dater, but as of late, I’ve definitely put myself out there more than ever before. One guy particularly stands out.
We met, he texted me the next day to say it was nice meeting me, said that he’d like to see me again, and he called two days later to make a date.
We went to a trendy restaurant where he schmoozed with the hostess, chatted casually with the sommelier and ordered for us both. It wasn’t suffocating or showy, but rather seemed confident and dominant.
As an admittedly passive person, I liked his confidence, and left the date beaming. The next day, I thought to text him telling him I’d had a great time, but decided to let him make the first move. Days passed…and nothing. We ended up speaking a little while later, through my own initiation, but I never saw him again, my choice.
Now, I’m able to look back and recognize that maybe my excitement was just that: excitement instead of real feelings. He was older, he was experienced, and I was impressed more than anything else. Even still, it hurts to walk away feeling like you might have made a connection, and then finding out you were wrong.
I don’t really understand how one person could leave a date raving about it and the other person not feeling even close to the same, just like if you leave a job interview supremely confident, chances are the employer was impressed, too. While I think people can definitely be delusional and misread signals, when it reaches a level where one party has nothing but positive things to say, it’s confusing and hurtful to get the opposite in return.
Of course, with time things become clearer, and I was able to realize my feelings of a connection were more about me being wooed. I’m sure that looking back on past dates, girls (and guys alike) are able to realize maybe they were so starstruck by the exhilaration of a first meet-up that maybe it didn’t go as well as they initially thought. Come to think of it, his eyes gazed away for a minute too long when I was telling him about my dog…and anyone who doesn’t like my dog definitely isn’t the one for me.
GIRL TALK TIME: Have you been on any memorable first dates? Have you ever misread a first date? What happened?