I have an unwanted roommate. I may be from New York, but surprisingly enough this article is not about roaches, rats or bedbugs (knock on wood that I never share a space with them!). It’s about a human roommate, one who isn’t on the lease. Yes, I’m basically living with my roomie’s boyfriend.
No matter how nice, polite or amiable this other person may be, feeling like you live with a couple is still a pain; especially in an inevitably closet-sized New York apartment. Coming home and being subjected to a gourmet pasta meal and a cuddle-sesh to the drone of a cheesy Redbox-rented flick for a two-some that does not include me is kind of like watching My Best Friend’s Wedding over and over again—cute and amusing at first, but after 10 too many replays in a short period of time, it gets old.
Alas, my complaint is not due to bitterness. I myself have a boyfriend who comes over on average two nights a week. But he does not leave half his wardrobe at my place, rarely uses our shower, and does not cook meals using our dishes and leave them out overnight. In the event that he would want to virtually live with me or stay with me more often (five or more nights of sleep-overs a week defines “basically living together” for me), I think I would have to run it by my real roommate first.
So, my dilemma is entirely that I did not sign up for this. It says on my lease that I am to have one female roommate. Nowhere on my lease did it say: you will be subjected to canoodling in the public common areas, you will mediate fights, your roommate’s boyfriend will mistake her for you thus yelling “their” baby name at you…or you will get a surprise house-guest five nights a week!
Like a big girl, I have talked to my roommate about this; slash I may or may not have word-vommed it all up after I was fed up of feeling like awkward third-wheel Kim Kardashian to Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick (except this couple never even orders me breakfast!). Will it get better? I don’t know. I was met with, “Well, do you want me to break up with him?” and other such ridiculous defenses.
I would move out, I would live alone…but anyone who has ever dealt with New York real estate knows what a money-sucking debacle leases and rent expenses are. I like the other roommate, and I tried hard not to hurt my real roommate’s feelings, but again, if I had wanted to live with a couple in a small space, I would have Craigslisted specifically for that.
GIRL TALK TIME: Have you ever been in this situation? Who was the other roommate? How did you confront your real roommate? Was the problem resolved? Help!