I Saw My Friend Cheat! Do I Tell?
We’ve all had those nights that give us headaches for days after. I recently suffered through one of said experiences, but my pain wasn’t solely due to alcohol.
I wasn’t left feeling crummy because I’d entered a wet t-shirt contest (I have standards, you know!). I didn’t drunkenly drop my cell phone into the toilet either. And it certainly wasn’t because I’d made out with my ex-boyfriend—which is good, because I don’t think my current boyfriend would have approved. But, oh wait, one of my closest friends did—and she’s not single!
Let me set the scene. My friend and her ex had been talking and dancing all night. I’d felt uneasy about it to begin with, but in the name of not seeming too crazy, I let it go…until they started making out. As soon as I saw the face-smush and glimpsed a little tongue action (yuck!), I hurried over and pulled them apart like a principal separating two grinding teens at a school dance. They (thankfully) cut it out and that was that.
My friend hasn’t mentioned it, but I’m wracked with guilt. You see, I’m sort of friends with the cheating friend’s current boyfriend too. Plus, I keep kicking myself for not separating the infidelitous friend and her ex before they got too intimate. From the way they were dancing (clutching each other, heads resting on each other’s shoulders); it was pretty obvious that the worst was yet to come. But since I let it progress to the point of spit-swapping, I’m stuck with the terrible burden of knowing my friend cheated, and the feeling that I might have been able to stop it.
So what’s a girl to do? I know that what she did was wrong morally. But on the other hand, is it my place to intervene? She’s one of my best friends and I’d hate to ruin our friendship by butting into her drama or tattling on her, but I can’t help but feel uneasy when I see her and her boyfriend together. She’s lucky I’m good at keeping secrets, but still—I really don’t know what to do. Help!
Girl Talk Time: What would you do in this Staffer’s situation? Have you ever been in this sort of dilemma? Did you confront your friend or did you tell the person she cheated on? Why and how?
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21 Comments
Post a CommentTell your friend that it made you uncomfortable because your friends with them all with hopes that it wont happen again
i dont like being put in the middle of stuff like that but as a friend u got to do what u got to do
I have one rule for this…If the situation was reversed would you want to know. Always consider that it would really change your mind on almost anything. I would want to know…then you work it our or not but your not in a stupid fog while everyone else knows…
That’s a tough situation.
I do not get why you are feeling guilty. That is your friend’s issue not yours
IMO, threre are only two reasons why you would say anything: you either want him or HER!!!! Keep your damn mouth shut!
Some girls think that a kiss is cheating and some think going all the way is. Both are inappropriate when you do it with someone who is not your significant other.
Your best bet is to talk to your friend.. no since feeling guilty all by yourself. She’s the one who did something wrong, not you! You trusted her to behave decently and she let you down and her boyfriend down. Tell her how you feel and leave it at that. There is no reason to involve her boyfriend in the whole affair. Whether or not she chooses to let him know is up to her.
Let it go and try to forget. No sense in ruining your friendship or her relationship over one stupid drunken kiss!!
it’s best to just bite your tongue and not deal with it. not your business, especially if you know the girl longer than her own bf. can’t break the girl code, guys do the same too.
mind your own business. its not absolutely any of yours who made you the moral jiminey cricket? If she doesnt feel guilty y do u and too topit off since when is kissing cheating. Im glad your not my friend!
Its your friends relationship not yours. Let your friend deal with the guilt and her own relationship. No one put you in charge. If I were you I would stay out of it unless you want to loose a friend or two.
Mind ur business, she’s an adult and ur only friends with current boyfriend cause of her so he’s not really ur friend which means don’t say tell him NOTHING, u don’t owe him NOTHING, It’s between u and her, Do u really think his friends would tell her if he made out with any girl NO, Men stick together and women talk to much, JUST LET IT GO OMG u would die if she told u she had s-x with someone or an 3 some cause u can’t handle a kiss, maybe ur not a friend she can tell her secrets too cause u thinking about running ur mouth about an kiss, learn the meaning of FRIENDSHIP, SISTERHOOD .
I haven’t been in this situation, but I wouldn’t tell.
I hate to be caught in the middle of things. Either way I would speak to both of my friends separately one on one at different timings explaining what you expect of them and their relationships. They need to realize that you are mutual between them and shouldn’t be expected to inform anyone of their roles in their own relationships. You don’t have to be specific on this situation but give them general chat about what you will accept in your friendship with them so you don’t feel guilty about who and what you should tell.
I would confront the friend
I would confront the friend about it and just share my opinion on how i don’t support her actions and thats about it. At the end of the day she is an adult and going to do what she wants anyway, so no need for you to feel guilty, your not the one who cheated
i say let it go.
Who cares? Who appointed you the relationship police? They only kissed. Your friend is an adult and is responsible for her own actions. If she kissed her ex then maybe she shouldn’t be with her current boyfriend. Who knows. My advice is to mind your business and worry about your relationship with your man. I wouldn’t have lost one ounce of sleep over this.
I agree with Demi
I’d let my friend know how inappropriate I thought the whole thing was and tell her what I’d do in the situation: Tell my current as soon as possible, deal with the reaction and try to move on from it. (starting with changing my behavior and not communicating with the ex again) After that, I’d trust my friend to be an adult and behave as such moving forward. I don’t think it’s your place to tell the current boyfriend. She should so that!