Why I Won’t be Friends with His Friend’s Girlfriend
I have recently been privy to a phenomenon that I can’t make much sense of—why does my boyfriend expect that I’ll be best friends with every girl I meet? Every time I’m out with his friends and meet his friends’ girlfriends, he acts hurt if we don’t hit it off. At the risk of sounding a bit snooty, I have enough girlfriends and great girlfriends at that—why do I need more? I get being friendly and all, but I’m not the type to make instant BFFs. I guess I’m picky when it comes to pals, a friendship snob in my own right.
Alas, maybe the problem is me. I may be part girlie-girl, but I’m also part tomboy. I have the same YouTube preferences as a 13-year-old boy. I like the NFL. I listen to music—and by music I don’t mean fluffy top 40 hits. My reservations aside, there’s something intimidating and unnerving about meeting new girls, and it’s been the same since first grade, so I don’t see it changing anytime soon. Girls aren’t like guys—they don’t shake your hand, smile and return to whatever they were doing. Ladies give lingering elevator eyes, whisper to their other friends and judge. I’m guilty of doing this too.
I also think girl personality traits differ in relation to where you’re from. Case in point: I’m from New York and after a lifetime of not talking to strangers lest I be kidnapped or robbed (have you ever ridden a subway and seen the collection of crazies in NYC?!), I seem a little Ice Queen-y to an outsider. My boyfriend is from Connecticut. Before I met him I had this vision of Connecticut girls—they wore sweaters with hand-sewn monograms, met their mothers for tea and had private tennis instructors. I’ve been wrong in many cases and have some great girlfriends from the Constitution State, but there are just some females that I don’t feel a bond with. It’s like relationship chemistry—if I don’t get that spark, I’ll be nice but I won’t really waste my time (harsh but true, told you I’m from New York).
So guys, hear us out: sometimes it’s a struggle to find common ground with girls. Men seem to have this unbreakable bro-tastic bond, but women are emotional and much more dramatic, making our relationships more complex. That’s why I feel it’s even more essential that females have the freedom to pick and choose their friends. Boyfriends, just let us be. As long as there is no outright rudeness involved, it’s fine to leave us to our devices. Who knows? Maybe in time we will make your friend’s girlfriend our best friend.
GIRL TALK TIME: What do you think? Does your significant other push you to be friends with other women? Are you picky when it comes to girlfriends?
Cart
16 Comments
Post a CommentI’ve never been put in this type of situation…..But can’t imagine it is anything less than awkward
I speak and can hold a conversation with anybody but that don’t mean we r friends so no my boyfriend don’t have to ask me to be friends with no one, i make conversation and then keep it moving.
that is odd. my man doesn’t mind that actually. The topic should be..being friends with his ex that he happens to work with? NEVER!!! lol
I also play nice…I have formed a great bond with at least 1 or 2 of the females I have meet through my guy….but if i don’t HE doesn’t mind at all…So it’s always a win win 4 me…
Although, I do not have much in common with my husband friends girlfriends/wives I am friendly when we see each other but nothing like on a “friendship” level that I have with my girlfriends…and, from past experience sometimes being friends with the girlfriends/wives can be difficult in the end if there is an arguement between the females than it makes it uncomfortable for everyone.
Although I’m aware us girls do judge each other more than i assume the guys do… I’ve never felt my other half expects me to become friends with his friends girlfriends… I guess he expects me to be sociable and civil, just as I expect that from him.
If i like the chick, I’ll be nice. If not, then I won’t. Respect earns respect, I don’t make exceptions just becuase their his friends.
Never been in this situation.
I haven’t experienced this but there is a special magic that happends when you meet someone and you “click” with them instantly. Anytime that situation is forced, it just never seems to pan out.
My husband doesn’t do this. Overall, I’m lucky that most of his friends’ wives or gfs are “normal”, so I don’t have this problem.
NO… My boyfriend doesn’t do this!
Haven’t had this problem. We all get along.
I’ll be nice but besties i dnt think so
Never really been in this situation, let alone hear about it often around me… but I can see how that can be a problem. I have a close circle of friends and I like to meet new people.. but I don’t fall easily into peer pressure if that’s what you want to call it. And my close friends know better than to do that. If they force me to be friends with theirs, they wouldn’t be my friends.
nice article
Hmm… I find it more common that my female friends do this to their men than the other way ’round! I think it’s a little endearing that my dude wants me to be besties with everyone so that we’re all one big happy family (plus it saves him the strain of having to navigate social circles if everyone gets along), so I play nice. It’s not like you have to call them when all of you aren’t hanging around!