This autumn, we’ll be holding hands with our beaus as we frolic through Technicolor fall foliage, we’ll plan a cutesy couple’s costume for Halloween and we’ll…do totally crazy out-of-character things, like watch Let Me In with our significant other, even if we still sleep with a nightlight. In light of Jackass 3-D coming out this Friday, one Staffer contemplates on the totally idiotic, nonsensical things Cupid has made her do.
“Isn’t there some sort of scientific study out there that proves love makes people actually, literally insane? Forget hardcore research, all I need is my own life’s experiences to prove that yes, amore makes me 100-percent bat-shit, commit-me-now nuts, departing me from my everyday interests and behaviors. Here’s a list of my top 10 insane experiences. See mine and please share yours so I at least feel sort of sane again (…until the next time I find myself on golf.com).”
1. Seriously gotten into SportsCenter. See previous post about how I also fell in love with sporty men. Which leads me to who I am now: the girl cursing at the TV and checking scores every Sunday. Who knew?
2. Texted someone at least 15 times without a response. I may be an “adult,” but I’m going to blame the neurotic/writer combination on this one. I just have so much to, um, say (slash obsess over and text messagingly yell at you about).
3. Willingly gotten my arse kicked in video games. To try to connect with World of Warcraft nerd ex-BF, I attempted to really get into gaming. My loves were limited to old-school options like Duck Hunter (pretty easy, eh?), GoldenEye 007 and Mario Kart (I was always “going the wrong way”).
4. Watched the Golf Channel. Not even when there was a match on. It was some show about a golfer’s life and I uncomplainingly tuned in with my BF. I have also texted my smart-phone-less boyfriend golf scores. Now why can’t he watch a Say Yes to the Dress marathon with me again?
5. Went to a scream-o concert. And I paid weeeeell over price for tickets to a sold-out show. If you don’t know what scream-o is, please imagine high pitched screeching with a tuneless band playing in the background. Fun times!
6. Tried and loved Chinese food. I was a child with a “limited menu” as my mother lovingly called it (I only ate pasta with butter or chicken fingers for years). My one boyfriend had a penchant for exotic food and after seeing his enthusiasm for General Tso’s, I broke out of my sheltered taste buds shell.
7. Racked up my phone bill abroad and relentlessly searched for every internet café so I could call or Facebook message my boyfriend. This was much to the chagrin of my well-meaning cousin, who believed I should be having “fun” and shoved Irish, German, French…etc. men in my face. I adamantly refused a few proposals of marriage over my own relationship loyalty.
8. This one is an oldie, but so what: Searched Modells all over until I found the exact Charlotte Hornets Starter jacket my fourth grade crush had so we would have something “in common.”
9. Taken the Metro North. I may love Grand Central, but I hate the Metro North. Why is it so crowded? Why are the cars circa 1965? Why does it move like a disabled tugboat? This can apply to other forms of transportation taken to see significant others.
10. Gave one of my exes a box with seven little trinkets that reminded me of “us” since we’d never been away from each other for more than three days and I was going on a vacation to Paris. There was one for every day I’d be away and each had its own card and explanation. I don’t think he saw this gesture as romantic, since our relationship went downhill after this incident.
GIRL TALK TIME: What crazy things have YOU done for love? We want to know the good—romantically running after the love of your life as he’s bound to move to Africa, the bad—5:30am phone calls…just because you needed a “chat” and the hilarious—singing karaoke, even though you can’t carry a tune. Let it out!