In case you haven’t already realized, we have a bone to pick with some ex-boyfriends, we’ve dated some really douchey guys and survived some hilariously bad first dates here at Shecky’s. But what happens when you find a seemingly perfect man only to find that there’s no chemistry? Do you tough it out and keep trying? Or is this a deal-breaker for you? One Staffer shares her opinion.
“I sat on the couch with my boyfriend, but that was part of the problem. All we were doing was sitting on the couch. I wasn’t on his lap, his arm wasn’t around me, there was no magnetic pull calling me over to his side. I sat confined to my corner, and him to his, laughing aimlessly at some show we were watching.
Let me give you a little background on this awkward sitch—the gentleman sitting with more imaginary telephone books between us to make a whole convent happy had already confessed his love to me. He called and texted me often and on time. He showed up when he said he would. He drove me to the mall in Christmas traffic, never let me pay for a thing (from stellar Giants tickets to every beer) and turned the radio to my station even though he hated it. My family loved him, we had the same background, some of the same career aspirations. Plus, he was tall, dark and handsome.
But I didn’t feel that zing, that inseparable must-have chemistry. I didn’t want to ruffle his hair, make-out with him the second I saw him, hold him in public unaware that anyone else was looking. And the punctuality, the precise predictability of him—traits that I thought I’d always wanted in my perfect partner—became so blatantly boring when I realized just how consistent, unsurprising and unwavering he was.
The man I let go was a great person, but in the end a few couch cushions meant everything. I tried to overcome the space between us. I attempted to accept that here was this person who loved me no-holds barred, but I need that force-field feeling in a relationship. I need a Romeo with that inexplicable electricity, that inseparable, drives-me-crazy, can’t-be-without-him sentiment. Is it okay that I’ve let a few well-qualified guys go because they didn’t meet my ‘sparks’ requirement?”
GIRL TALK TIME: Have you ever been with a great-on-paper guy but found that some little something was missing? What was it like? What kind of chemistry do YOU need? What does great chemistry mean for you? Have you ever dumped a guy because there was no spark?