Shecky’s

The Carpenters taught us that “breaking up is hard to do,” and it’s especially hard with the ever-increasing advancements in technology. No longer do you just have to worry about bumping into an ex at a local spot, you face the fear of encountering said former flame on things like Facebook Chat. We asked our Staffers: What’s the technology protocol with your exes? Do you remain friends on Facebook? Keep each other on buddy lists and in phone books?

“I think ex protocol is a very one-sided thing. I sporadically keep in contact with one ex via Facebook, but I’d be annoyed if my boyfriend did the same. When I was single, I would always delete boys’ numbers from my phone and delete them from Facebook, only to regain contact when curiosity got the better of me…very silly!”

“I’ve never been the type to be friends with an ex (at least one that mattered). It’s easier to move on if you’re not getting Facebook updates every five seconds about their perfect life without you. Everyone I know who tries to take the high road and stay friends ends up with excess baggage in their next relationship, or worse, falling back into their last one. I go for the complete wipe, phone number—gone, GChat—gone, Facebook—gone, out of sight, out of mind. When you’ve both successfully moved on, re-establishing a friendship can be really great, but chances are, you won’t feel the need to.”

“I’d like to be the kind of girl who can delete numbers from my phonebook, defriend people on Facebook etc., but I just lack that kind of self-control. Sure, it’s hard to see pictures of an ex with a new (and pretty) girlfriend, but it would be going on whether it’s rubbed in my face or not. Also, sometimes seeing that kinda stuff is good motivation to get back on the saddle and move on.”

“It’s one thing to defriend an ex on Facebook, because you really don’t need to know their business in that kind of medium, but I still keep the phone numbers of exes. You never know when you will need a favor or wish to rekindle, even as friends, and I don’t think it’s worth it to delete someone entirely from your life, even after a messy break-up. You just never know.”

“I am Facebook friends with most exes, but one particularly evil one I do not talk to. Even in person I will flat-out ignore him. It’s especially awkward and maybe (okay, SERIOUSLY) immature of me, especially since we have so many friends in common. I tried to be ‘friends’ with him once, but all it took was one IM convo to remind me of why we broke up—he’s such a Debbie Downer. I recently defriended him on Facebook since I really don’t care about his life or what he’s up to…and, uh, I may have wrote a Shecky’s Staffer or 17 about the kid which I don’t want him to see when I post to FB !”

-Lynden Halpern

GIRLK TALK TIME: What do you think is ex protocol? Are you still friends with your exes?