Are You Facebook Friends With Your Ex?
The Carpenters taught us that “breaking up is hard to do,” and it’s especially hard with the ever-increasing advancements in technology. No longer do you just have to worry about bumping into an ex at a local spot, you face the fear of encountering said former flame on things like Facebook Chat. We asked our Staffers: What’s the technology protocol with your exes? Do you remain friends on Facebook? Keep each other on buddy lists and in phone books?
“I think ex protocol is a very one-sided thing. I sporadically keep in contact with one ex via Facebook, but I’d be annoyed if my boyfriend did the same. When I was single, I would always delete boys’ numbers from my phone and delete them from Facebook, only to regain contact when curiosity got the better of me…very silly!”
“I’ve never been the type to be friends with an ex (at least one that mattered). It’s easier to move on if you’re not getting Facebook updates every five seconds about their perfect life without you. Everyone I know who tries to take the high road and stay friends ends up with excess baggage in their next relationship, or worse, falling back into their last one. I go for the complete wipe, phone number—gone, GChat—gone, Facebook—gone, out of sight, out of mind. When you’ve both successfully moved on, re-establishing a friendship can be really great, but chances are, you won’t feel the need to.”
“I’d like to be the kind of girl who can delete numbers from my phonebook, defriend people on Facebook etc., but I just lack that kind of self-control. Sure, it’s hard to see pictures of an ex with a new (and pretty) girlfriend, but it would be going on whether it’s rubbed in my face or not. Also, sometimes seeing that kinda stuff is good motivation to get back on the saddle and move on.”
“It’s one thing to defriend an ex on Facebook, because you really don’t need to know their business in that kind of medium, but I still keep the phone numbers of exes. You never know when you will need a favor or wish to rekindle, even as friends, and I don’t think it’s worth it to delete someone entirely from your life, even after a messy break-up. You just never know.”
“I am Facebook friends with most exes, but one particularly evil one I do not talk to. Even in person I will flat-out ignore him. It’s especially awkward and maybe (okay, SERIOUSLY) immature of me, especially since we have so many friends in common. I tried to be ‘friends’ with him once, but all it took was one IM convo to remind me of why we broke up—he’s such a Debbie Downer. I recently defriended him on Facebook since I really don’t care about his life or what he’s up to…and, uh, I may have wrote a Shecky’s Staffer or 17 about the kid which I don’t want him to see when I post to FB 
!”
-Lynden Halpern
GIRLK TALK TIME: What do you think is ex protocol? Are you still friends with your exes?
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30 Comments
Post a CommentIf i see my EX i will hello and keep it moving.
I guess I’m strange, but every guy I’ve dated, I don’t keep in contact with because you need to move on.
Drop the ex completely. You can’t move on the right way with the past always there.
Besides if he’s man enough and wants you bad enough he will contact you. Otherwise leave it be.
My bf and I stopped being friends on facebook so that we don’t end up being ex. I am no longer friends with any of my exes.
the only ex i still talk to is one i dated when i was 17, i however am not fb friends with him because i dont find that appropriate and my current bf would probab;y not be too happy about that. i can understand it because i in turn wouldnt be too happy if the roles were reversed. were in a serious relationship and there is really no reason for an ex to be in my life or bussiness
why!!! would i be friends with him it was so many years ago. I bearly remember his name!!!
No, I am not facebook friends with any of my exes because I don’t want them to think that its okay to send photos or write me when they feel like it.
I think that being friends with the ex is a big no-no. ESPECIALLY on Facebook. Why would you want them knowing your every move? If you do, then you’re not truly over them and are just trying to make them jealous…which is lame.
No way. My ex has annoyed me for the majority of the 10 + years we’ve been divorced. In fact, almost as soon as I signed up for Myspace years ago, he emailed me. I had resisted using any social networking to that point and he proved to me why I disliked it.
In response to my last comment – Im waiting on deleting them both from FB as Im in a wedding with the girl next month – How cute she is bringing her new bf (my ex) as her date!! Once its over all ties will be cut!
No way I’d be friends with a recent ex. He doesn’t deserve to know what’s happening in my life!
move on! agreed!
No!
bad idea to be fb friends with an ex it only leads to stalking
Definitely not friends on FB!
I don’t have the facebook.. but I don’t think any kind of contact after the breakup is any good what so ever!
never delete a phone number from your cell. keep your friends close and your exes closer. you need to know whose calls/texts to avoid
Most of my ex’s i’m friends with on FB – but ONLY if the break up was mutual and/or a very long time ago. My most recent ex, we had a horrible falling out and not only did I de-friend him & a mutual friend of ours (she basically picked him over me), I blocked both of them because even seeing their profile pic hurt that much!
It depends how you ended the relationship with your ex. For example I’m still friends with my ex. Although I don’t have his number or talk to him that much he is still a friend of mine on facebook because we ended our relationship in a good term. If you and your ex ended a relationship in a bad term then by all mean press that delete button
I totally agree with Penelope!
Mair is me i forgot to log in Whoops so like i said i totally agree!
no not friends w/ my ex on facebook. i’m thinking it depends on the relationship & the break-up but probably not staying in contact is best for both parties.