There’s getting dumped by your bestie, and then there’s getting the boot from your bud due to another guy. We know all couples get cozy in the first few months of dating and marriage, but is it ever acceptable to say see-ya to your gal pals in the name of love? How do you find a balance? (Psst! Don’t forget to vote for your GREAT friends in the National Girlfriend Awards.) One Staffer writes in.
“My friend, let’s call her Melody, is a serial dater. She would barely hang out with us when she had a boyfriend, but one time when she went through an awful break-up my girls and I obviously took her back with open arms. She was an inseparable friend and a key part of our crew—from movie marathons in our PJs to wild nights that turned into early morning diner visits, we thought Melody was back for good
…Until she met her next beau. Suddenly, Melody was back to her old wifey-ed out ways, and back to not hanging out with us either. Every time we called, she’d be betraying our movie marathons with him or going on the zillionith date night. And when she didn’t hang with her boyfriend, she was usually ‘tired.’
I don’t get the whole dumping your friends to make a dude your life thing. Is it some sort of extraordinary love or a weird obsession? I love every moment I spend with my boyfriend, but sometimes I need someone else to talk to. Plus, it’s exciting when we spend time apart and come back together with different stories and curiosity about what the other one has been up to. There’s something surprising and interesting about leading semi-separate lives.
So what good does dumping your girlfriends to spend 100% of your time with a guy do for you? I get being in love, wanting to spend everything with someone else….but I also need my girlfriends to vent to, to chat with about things my boyfriend really doesn’t/shouldn’t care about (Eli Manning’s sexiness, where to get a great eyebrow wax…).
The kicker of this story is…Melody did get dumped by this guy and contacted all of us to vent at a girls night sesh. Some of my pals were not understanding. The most brazen of the bunch texted back, ‘That sucks, but where have you been for the past year? I don’t feel like we’re friends anymore, sorry!’ (Ouch—two break-ups at once!) After a week of hanging out with those who would talk to her, she got back together with the BF and was back to her old MIA ways.
I haven’t seen her in months. Should I try to rekindle the friendship or should I dump her as a friend for good?”
GIRL TALK TIME: Would you take this friend back? Have you ever been dumped for a relationship? What happened? Do you feel like you get wrapped up in relationships and might do this to your friends? Spill all.