So we’ve done our fair share of talking about forgetting exes (making lists about why he’s not right, giving his things to charity)—but there’s a brand of former fella we haven’t covered yet. You know him: the guy who won’t go away. He doesn’t get that you don’t want to talk to him, using forgetfulness or drunkenness as an excuse to send you a tipsy text at 3 a.m. Check out one Staffer’s story and let us know if you’ve ever had something like this happen to you.
“It was 7:30am on a Sunday morning and needless to say, I was hungover. So when my phone rang and displayed an ex fling’s name, I immediately thought I was in some sort of strange déjà-vu dream. I went back to sleep instantly (or did I? Inception keeps freaking me out), but about two minutes later that same ex texted ‘I miss you.’
I woke up later (at 1pm) in a more sober state and reevaluated. Who calls an ex flame at 7:30am? Was he still wasted? Was he in a different country, a foreign time zone where it would be appropriate to be inebriated and awake at my time 7:30am? What had compelled him to even call and text? Was it a particular Facebook status, a place we’d gone to (um, that was also open at 7:30am?), a mutual friend that induced the missing? Or was it purely accidental, a drunk dial? Considering I hadn’t seen him or spoken to him in six months, it seemed especially odd.
Let me back up for a second. I’d had a bad falling out with this fella—he dated another woman behind my back without telling me (hoping to pull the ‘fade out’ game, eh?). After we were done, Little Ms. Replacement must have jetted quick, because two months later he was a-texting and calling again. I was so utterly disgusted by him that I never wanted to give him a second chance. Plus, I started dating another (and much better) man soon after he wanted me back. Still—the late night phone calls, the texts, the Facebook chats—the more I ignored him, the more persistent he was. I mostly brushed him off, but when I did respond I told him I had a boyfriend and wasn’t interested. I also stressed that I didn’t really care for us to remain friends either. He responded with, ‘Friends can’t hurt. Friends?’ to which I reluctantly replied ‘Yes’ hoping he would leave me alone.
As drunk voicemails and his most recent outburst has shown, I don’t know if he gets it yet (six months later? And our ‘dating’ history was about two months. Really?). While I’m curious as to why he thought of me, I would never want to be with him, so much so that I never even thought for a second that I should reply to his call or text. I deleted all the records of the random contact and I’m hoping that someday soon he can delete everything about me just as easily, that he’ll actually get it.”
GIRL TALK TIME: Has a former flame ever contacted you? How, and what did he say? How do you get rid of the ones that just won’t go away? Let us know.