Potty Protocol
So this subject kind of stinks, but it’s a necessary one. When is it the time in your relationship to take that special next step? We’re not talking moving in or marriage…we’re talking when—if ever—is it okay to talk to your significant other about farting, pooping, the works? One Staffer ponders.
“I recently had my boyfriend over for an extended period of time. After a bout of Mexican, nature was screaming, not calling to me. Armed with some lie about checking for a ‘package’ downstairs, I ran to the restroom in my building’s lobby, to, er, get down to business. I came back and he was none the wiser.
I asked a few friends: Is it ever okay to discuss bathroom issues with a dude you’re dating? My one very open friend actually bonded with her BF over their affliction with IBS (a.k.a. Irritable Bowel Syndrome), and they speak freely about their W.C. worries. Another pal shared that she was completely mortified when she accidentally farted in front of her guy. Her boyfriend, however, gave her a high five, ‘Yessss! We’re at that point in our relationship!’ he exclaimed. Confused on the issue, I surveyed the people who always know best: Shecky’s Staffers. Here’s their take.”
Staffer 1: “Regarding farting, I’ve been with my husband for seven years and we’ve never done that in front of each other. This can be very inconvenient at times. Regarding poop, we have an extra half bathroom in our apartment which seems to be the designated bathroom.”
Staffer 2: “I dated a guy for about two years in college, but we had known each other and been best friends long before that. I refused to poop at his apartment or when he was at mine. I would just sit there and whine that my stomach hurt, and he’d say, ‘Go to the bathroom!’ He didn’t care, but I was totally embarrassed. I used to tell him that I didn’t poop. Like he believed that.”
Staffer 3: “When I was first seeing my now boyfriend, I would spend the weekend at his house, and I couldn’t use the bathroom for days at a time. Feeling bloated all the time is so not sexy! As soon as we got over that li’l hump and my bathroom anxiety was cured, we were free to truly fall in love. I don’t think there is anything wrong with discussing or doing such things. It’s totally natural. If I had never gotten over my phobia I may not be here today to tell this tale!”
Staffer 4: “What’s less sexy than someone ripping one? That said, when accidents happen, it’s all about being able to laugh it off and change the subject to avoid embarrassment. As for timing, unfortunately your stomach rarely waits for an opportune moment, but it is a good litmus test of where you stand in the relationship. If you guys can giggle about it, you know you’re close enough to not let the little things bother you. If he breaks out the Febreeze, and not in a funny way…you might need to reevaluate your relationship status.”
Staffer 5: “I hate all bodily functions, so when I’m dating a guy, even if I’m comfortable with him, it’s a non-issue. I’d never want to discuss those things…with anyone! I once dated a guy who would fart in front of me daily and justify it by saying that if he did that, he must really like me. Gee, thanks.”
GIRL TALK TIME: Have you ever passed gas or pooped to your fella’s knowledge? Have you discussed it? Is this topic okay or totally off limits? Weigh in, and don’t be embarrassed. This site is No Boys Allowed so we’re sure your husbands and boyfriends aren’t taking a peek.
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35 Comments
Post a CommentI once went to visit my boyfriend in another state and I stayed at his house. Traveling makes me constipated sometimes. I needed to poop so bad my stomach hurt and it was one of the most uncomforrtabe times in my life. I would poop only a little bit when I went in the bathroom to “wash my face” or “take a shower”. I really just needed to sit down, brace myself and push hard but i knew it would make a noise and I would be mortified! I didnt know when he was going to go in the bathroom either and I didnt want him to smell it. Finally i said I needed something at the store and I pooped there, but only a little because I didnt want to be in there for a long time. I realize how stupid this is because he knows i poop because every one does. I wish I wasnt like this but i dont know how to just let it go. I envy girls that just go in the bathroom and poop like nothing. anyways the trip was miserable and we even had to stay in one night because i was “sick”. Gosh it hurt so bad i was wishing i could pause time and go poop!
I totally don’t mind if my significant other did it. My ex did it…in such a cute way! Weird as that sounds haha. (Like, farting or something) Going number 2 is an ENTIRE different matter. I’m sorry but…a bunch of my girls and I have discussed this at LENGTH, and I’m sorry I just…CAN’T do it!
To my best friend and I…it’s all about class to us. We’re really not trying to sound pretentious, but we respect how the customs and manners were back in the old days, where a lady is a lady and will not do certain things in public. There is a time and place for everything. I mean, if it’s an accident, fine…but don’t think I’m gonna be comfortable with that issue any time soon!
Also, my parents go to the bathroom in front of each other ALL the time, but they’re nearing 60 years old so I guess…it will diffuse with time? lol. Here’s to a more easy-going future!
Also, keep matches in the bathroom! I don’t know if my ex used to do that before I taught him to, but he learned quickly to just light a match and wave it out if there’s any dank air. Works wonders.
Although my ex of 5 years (on and off, mostly on) had to run the water when he went for years, he always told me when he was about to go take care of business, in a variety of ways (I really don’t need to know!), my least favorite being “going to drop the kids off at the pool,” ugh! So he’s say it just to torture me. Sometimes when my stomach was upset and I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time to rip a “silent but deadly” one, he got a whiff and would go on about how he needed a gas mask, but in good humor. The first time that happened, he asked me if I’d done it, and I said in a very little voice “maybe…” with such a guilty look on my face that he made fun of me imitating it for ages. However, neither of my serious boyfriends could pee with me in the bathroom, even if I was in the shower. I thought that was a little strange.
we both use the bathroom wat is there to hide….. i would never do it though
My husband and I are completely open and honest when it comes to the bathroom.
My boyfriend texts me pictures of his poop and will ask me to hold his hand while he poops, it’s gross.
lol thats a tough call, but if you both have a sense of humor go for it lol
OMGosh do I have a story for you! But I’m too embarrassed to tell it. Sorry. Anyway, my hubby and I fart in each others presence all the time as needed. He views it as a natural occurrence when the body has an upset stomach. What…I’d rather let it rip then have a nasty stomach ache. Although, I will go to the bathroom in a public place.
After 6 years…..things are pretty much out there. We are all around comfortable…its nature and funny at times.
I run the water while I go
hahhaha…me too!
my bf is totally open about it…sorry…i used to hate it and would never go at his house…then his whole family were open about it…you kinda get used to it after awhile…agreed…if you gotta go you gotta go
I just can’t do it. The only time was when my ex boyfriend and I lived together…and we only had one bathroom, so I had no choice. I would actually drive to my mom’s, five minutes away. That’s how against this I am. I know, I have problems.
I hate doing the “walk of shame” after pooping at my bfs house. A girlfriend turned me on to this website http://www.getyougogirl.com. The name is hysterical – You Go Girl – but I thought it was worth a try. I’ve always been embarrassed to go anywhere but home, especially at my boyfriends house. I found myself holding it…oh my aching gut. YGG doesn’t help with my fart sounds:( but my lovely ‘plop’ sounds are dampened & I don’t have to deal with the gross splash on my butt or desperate searches for matches.
I have been married 3 years and my take on it is if you have to go then you have to go. Everyone does it one way or another.
I don’t find it “appropriate” to fart all the time in front of each other for the mere fact that it’s unattractive. I do however think that girl’s and guy’s need to have their own privacy and should be able to poop whenever they have to.
Really who cares?! Maybe its because I grew up with two brothers so I am used to getting teased about pooping and farting. I think as long as you do the courtesy of spraying your funk away and opening up an window (if available) then its OK! Don’t just sit there and pretend the smell isn’t there. The times that I have been the most embarrassed, are the times when I tried to play it off as if the sound was just my mouth or shoe or something. Bodily functions happen to all of us and if the guy is willing to let you go because you let one off – he wasn’t the right one in the first place
Nothing makes me madder than a guy passing gas anywhere but in a closed bathroom! I know it is a natural bodily function but please I don’t want to experience it firsthand. This goes for guys I have dated to guys I lived with……I actually was put off by a guy who thought it was funny to pass gas as loud as he could. deal breaker!
So embarrassing.. but hey when ya gotta go ya gotta go!
Too funny!