Shecky’s

Next month will be my 1 yr anniversary and my husband is def my soulmate. Our wedding was nice-we paid for it pretty much ourselves-spent about $5,000-which includes everything but the food (my parents paid for that). We didn’t have alcohol and I made everything myself except for the clothes. We didn’t have a huge wedding cake-had cupcakes and I planned the wedding myself as well. It was a beautiful and personalized wedding and everyone still remarks on what was the best thing about my wedding: how obvious the love is between the bride and groom. In all of our wedding pictures we both are smiling huge smiles and that made it worth it. I, too, never imagined my wedding day or even getting married. I got married at the age of 25 and I don’t regret it. I originally wanted a small wedding-actually a ‘weddingmoon’ with just the two of us, but since his family hadn’t had a wedding in years I compromised. That’s why for our 1 yr anniversary we are going on a 10 day vacation, just the two of us and I can’t wait. Anyway, I say all of this to say that spending some money on a big day is not the end of the world-as long as you can afford it and make it suit your personality. As long as it makes you and the groom happy-don’t look down on others who think differently. And really-you don’t know how much your feelings will change about weddings when your time comes! I never thought I would care so much about the perfect green color of my invitations! (that I wrote, designed, printed, and folded by myself!)

It is so refreshing to see that other people out there think the same way I do. Well sort of, I have never really believed in the whole marriage thing. I have been with my soul mate for nine years now and we don’t have any plans to wed. We are perfectly happy the way things are and do plan to spend the rest of our lives together. I have been in serveral weddings and have with all that were astonished by how much was spent on that one day, when why couldn’t that money go toward a house or something else big. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying marriage is a bad thing, but I don’t think all that money spent is truly truly worth it. (This is only my opinion)

I’m really lucky to have found a wonderful person who is my best friend and the love of my life. We decided to get engaged very soon after we became a couple – probably sooner than I would have if he had been from the same country as me, but I felt that because I was picking up my entire existence and moving, I wanted to be sure that we were both thinking long-term. I know he feels lucky not just to be together, but also that we pretty much share the same values, and this includes the wedding and which aspects of it are important to us.
I am not ashamed to admit that I’ve fantasized about my wedding even before I met him (and I sometimes have a morbid fascination with those wedding shows on We!), but regardless, it’s always been a nontraditional idea that fits well with my personality and budget. I do think that American women are sort of socialized to buy into the idea of spending a lot of money on a big dress, cake, and diamond ring, but there are also many of us who want something different! To me, what’s important about my wedding is the fact that I am celebrating love and happiness with my fiance, and having the opportunity to share that love and happiness with our friends and family. I don’t care if the napkins match the nail polish- just a good meal and a fun time for all!
In my case, the lion’s share of the budget is being spent on food and drink, but that high cost is also due to the fact that I’m from NYC, rather than it being some super-gourmet meal.
I respect the choices of friends of mine who’ve spent a lot more money and/or wanted a much more traditional event, but ours will be really different, and we like it that way! I’m tempted to talk about the details a bit more, but on the other hand I don’t want to bore anyone or monopolize this space.
I guess the bottom line is, more power to you for choosing to do things your own way, and encouraging other people to do the same!

My daughter and son-in-law got married in April. They had a simple ceremony at a chapel, with their 3 year old son in the wedding party, and family and close friends there to celebrate with them. The after party, now, that was a blast! In a penthouse at the top of one of the popular hotels in Vegas, with food, drink, dj, everything you could want. Instead of a cake, I ordered 120 cupcakes, different kinds. The food was bought and set up by family, the dj is a family friend, and they bought the booze at a discount liquor store. People are still talking about it! Everyone had a great time! It was all planned by my daughter and son-in-law and they did a great job.

I could have written this article as I never ‘dreamed’ about these silly details.

But trust me when I say that THIS WILL CHANGE. I’m getting married this weekend and no, the tiny details don’t matter, but these tiny details are your choices and they reflect who you are as a couple (it is NOT just about the bride). The more you enjoy it, the more you make it yours suddenly you start to care.

Shecky’s, enough with the wedding/bride bashing. It shows on all your articles of late. Don’t be bitter about what you don’t know or haven’t experienced yet. You, too, will change!

Happines changes you!

It’s so refreshing to see someone with such a solid view on this topic. I too am in my mid-20s and am in no rush to the altar! Age aside I think that too many girls nowadays obsess over weddings and the tiniest details that frankly no one will ever notice. No one sees the label on your dress, the price tag on the centerpieces or how much that video (that no one will ever see) is costing you per hour. Your guests will have a great time b/c they are there celebrating you and your man, no need to go into debt over it.

It’s not a party unless the whole city is invited. With that said, I wouldn’t go into debt just to entertain them. If anything I want the majority of the money spent on my ring, my dress, food and drink shared with my spouse, and a photographer who would double as a witness in the most intimate ceremony. And again I wouldn’t go into debt for this part either. Guests rarely care about the vows part, so I would entertain them with a light reception, ipod, on some field somewhere at a later time. I want a big bash to include all the family from both sides, but I am willing to cut out or save up to include them all and be friendly to my wallet.

WOW! As a guy I salute the women here who have their eyes on the prize and understand the basic proposition that you’re marrying the guy not the event. Is there a place where women like this congregate…I’d really like to meet one!

I am a total fanatic of WEtv for its bridezilla, David Tutera, Say Yes to the Dress, Platinum Weddings etc… and of course it gets me all excited about having “the day” but at the same time reality kicks in and I just cant fathom having family that I really don’t communicate with there on my special day. LOGIC: Why should I pay to feed people I don’t like? LOL So I’ve decided with my significant on what REALLY matters the most to us and for me its just my mom and dad. I would do whatever is necessary to make sure they were there for that day… if my siblings could come awesome! but if not, i’m not going to be broken hearted either. My dream is to give my father the right to walk me down some isle… even if its just 10 people there. and THATS IT.

I’ve even seen people go to fancy restaurants and just pay for everyone’s choice of a meal and THEY cover their liquor. Seems sensible to me. =)

I’ve never been in a rush to get married. My current boyfriend is the one for me (finally!!!). I know I’ll spend the rest of my life with him, and if we do have a wedding, it won’t be traditional or a big bash. And he’ll probably do all the planning. He’s good like that.

I never picture myself getting married either. I always think of things I would want if it were to happen.. but actually seeing myself walk down the aisle and a man at the end waiting for me.. i just can’t see it. Maybe thats a sign that it’s not going to happen? But if it does I could never spend a fortune on ONE day either. Im with you.. the more simple.. the better!

Im a 28 year old who is in no hurry to get married, I would love to see more of the world has to offer while I finish my Master’s Degree. After being a bridesmaid in May I had more reasons not to rush and take my time. I would love to have a big wedding just because I’m family oriented and I would love to have my huge family to spend this special day with me, but in the mean time I will worry about that after my 30′s.

You are a cool girl and I feel the same way about weddings. Its all a waste for the people around you. You should spend time with your man get married at a courthouse and run off on a trip. Blowing so much money is not smart.

I am not married yet. But I want something simple with not too many people. I want a very intimate wedding. And no I haven’t thought of the little details yet.

I am a certified wedding coordinator and I have to say, I appreciate that there are women out there that aren’t crazed about every detail of their weddings. The entire point of the event is that you are a marrying the person that you love and want to share your life with. Cake is just flour and eggs. Flowers start dying the minute you cut them. I’m not saying weddings shouldn’t be everything that you want but don’t spend beyond your means, decide what’s important to you (pictures vs. video, cake vs. cupcakes) and focus your budget accordingly.

I want a small wedding maybe no more then 50 or so people in a nice resort in the wine country Napa i think it would be great to have an intimate gathering like that.

I want a beautiful medium sized wedding with all my friends and family…i also want a fancyyy ring

i felt the same way when i was single. i never dreamed of my wedding, never pictured myself walking down the aisle. but i met the right guy and we have been happily married for 4 years. we had a super small wedding- 16 ppl including us. we were married on a dinner cruise around manhattan. we have beautiful pics of the nyc skyline. my uncle said it was one of the best weddings he’s been to b/c it was so unique. i barely had much wedding planning to do. once we picked the date and booked the cruise everything was set for us: no cake tastings, no food tastings, no flowers to ponder over. everything was done! i got my dress from jcrew, when they first launched their wedding collection. it was a simple cream dress, no frills. it was a simple day but it was a special day.