Shecky’s

Even if you’re a Bitter Betty, it’s hard to deny the immensely beautiful moment when two people commit their entire lives to one another. Unfortunately, sometimes angered MOHs, their male counterparts, a drunk aunt or an absentminded best man ruin that moment and the romantic intensity turns to embarrassment REAL fast. We asked our Staffers to spill about some of the worst wedding speeches they’ve ever heard.

“I was at a wedding once where the father of the bride hung all the family’s dirty laundry out to dry. From his wife’s miscarriage, to contemplating divorce, no subject was too taboo. To make matters worse, the speech went on for over twenty minutes! We could all see that the bride was so embarrassed…if only we had the Oscar music to cue him to hand over the mic!”

“It was something out of a movie. The maid of honor was older than her sister who was getting married and made it abundantly clear that she wasn’t happy about the situation. Her speech started out fine, as she told her sister’s fiancé how lucky he was to have such a special woman in his life, and how genuinely proud and happy she was for the couple. She paused briefly, but everyone assumed she was just overwhelmed with emotion. Turns out she was overwhelmed with alcohol and proceeded to rant on and on about rapidly aging and being alone, shifting the entire toast to be a pity party for herself, intermittently burping, hiccuping and swigging champagne as she went along. It wasn’t until the bride’s (and MOH’s) father stepped in with a ‘CHEERS!’ that it ended. People still talk about it!”

“The worst speech was actually at the fanciest wedding I have ever been to…black tie, hundreds of thousands of dollars spent, you get the idea. The maid of honor was some political pundit of some sort (or so she claimed), so she got up and thought it would be funny/appropriate to make an insulting joke about the president to kick off the speech (did I mention this was in Manhattan—hello!). Needless to say no one laughed, but she still didn’t get the point and kept going on and on about how she is a conservative, always on TV to give her expertise, and other boring, irrelevant information about herself that had nothing to do with the bride or groom—oh, until she got into some weird sexual jokes about the groom. Again, crickets! It was so bad, I’m told the bride de-friended immediately post-reception.”

“I was at a small and beautiful wedding. The groom had his two teenage nephews as his Best Men. One of them gave a cute speech, bringing up a story from a few Christmases ago and how his uncle was always so thoughtful with his gift-giving. At the end of the speech, the Best Man closed with: ‘I’d like to propose a toast…here’s to my Uncle.’ He forgot to mention the bride!”

-Lynden Halpern

GIRL TALK TIME: What’s the worst wedding speech you’ve ever heard? Who gave it? Why was it so bad? Have you ever had to give a speech at a wedding? Spill! We wanna hear!