Shecky’s

From the desk of an editorial assistant…

Everyone talks about having their mid-life crisis and solving it by buying a hot car or getting a face lift. Well guess what? I believe I had my first life crisis the other day…at the prime age of 23. My freakout included uncontrollable tears, hyperventilating and loss of appetite! Why? A few too many people in my life have “grown up” recently…and it’s been scaring the s*** out of me.

Number one: My roommate from college got engaged. I screamed with excitement (and a side of horror) when I received the text message. I wasn’t affected immediately because there was such a disconnect. The scared aspect of my scream was from the broad thought of marriage in general. Aren’t I (and all the people my age) too young for that?

Shortly after that announcement, my best friend from college got engaged, too. Seeing that sparkly thing, er, ring on her finger had me giggling with glee and shocked with disbelief all at the same time. I knew it was bound to happen, since they’re perfect for each other. But when she asked me to be the maid of honor that sickening feeling hit hard, sucker punch-style. Oh, but it doesn’t end there!

My baby sister tried on one of my prom dresses. She’s 17, not at all a kid, but in my eyes she will always be that little girl in pigtails playing with Barbies. Seeing her all glammed up, studying the fit of the dress in the mirror was like reality slapping me in the face. I was staring at her with my mouth agape thinking: Oh my God! She has boobs!

But it was the text message from my best friend with the date she’s getting married that pushed me over the edge. I have no idea why, but water-works were in full force and I couldn’t find a paper bag to save my life, which is what I really needed. Doubled over in a chair with my head between my knees and tissues thrown about, I was trying to assess why I was having minor heart failure so young. Peter Pan syndrome? Possibly. Do I sub-consciously want to take the plunge? Um, negative. I finally accepted that I was having a quarter-life crisis and a bottle of wine to the face would be my version of a face lift.

Ladies, you gotta help me out here! What is wrong with me? Seriously, I was chocking back tears (and my breakfast) as I wrote this. And…what else is in store for me? Am I alone? What kind of crises have you encountered thus far in your life? I need help…and some semblance of support to keep me sane.

-Kellene McCaffrey