Shecky’s

It’s the question all little girls dream of: How will he ask? Where will you marry? How will your children look and, most importantly, how will you give up your ballerina pink walls, faux fur bedspread and gardenia-scented sheets?

Former solo-dweller here, writing from atop a bed covered in boxes and a gender-unspecific duvet. About a month after saying a prompt and effortless “yes,” I’m wise enough to know that the road to the wedding chapel is sprinkled with challenges (not exactly roses, hmph). But for a bona fide girl with very specific and—might I add—feminine taste, none has proved to be quite as difficult as transforming my living quarters from girly-girl to guy friendly.

The magnitude of this challenge revealed itself last week, when I presented my fiancé with my intended design scheme (complete with illustrations). Things like bejeweled shower curtain hooks suddenly became ridiculous, shabby chic was laughed out the door, and I learned that there is such a thing as “too much floral.” Ouch.

The next day, with a bruised ego and no plan B, I set out to find and fill our starter home with a little less she and a little more we, and here’s what I discovered:

A girl has limits. No matter how much I love my husband-to-be, there will be no plaid, wooden Mallards or brushed chrome in my apartment. Giving up all sense of femininity to appease your other half may seem like a grand gesture, but in the end it’s a grave mistake. Lucky for she, then, are those best-of-both worlds home goods: place mats that are on one side floral and the other stripes suddenly make perfect sense!

Primaries please everyone. Taking the leap from tranquil washes to pops of color has served as a fun change of pace, and a scarlet-red and white bedspread looks fantastic against an espresso-colored headboard in a white room. Gender-neutral vintage pieces, like my grandfather’s old paintings or couches that channel the offices of Mad Men, have also proven to be successful additions to the she-we dwelling.

The bathroom is fair game. It has to be feminine, right? In my searches for an inoffensive shower curtain, I found the line between dainty and dorm room to be as thin as tooth floss. Lavender prevailed, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

There’s a she, and he, in we. Compromise has proven to be an exercise in devotion, and I’ve found that sacrificing some of my most feminine fixtures is easier than I initially thought. My fiancé has learned the importance of a throw pillow, I’ve learned to live without decorative towels, and we’ve both learned—besides fresh cut flowers and cuddle-friendly couches—love is the most fabulous way to fill a room.

-Laura Carroll

Hey, coupled-up chicas! Do you live with your man? What has been your biggest challenge so far? Ladies who don’t live with their guys—would you ever? Why or why not?